a million tears
by cristofori's dream
Summary: It was fate that brought them together. Long before they were even born, they were already destined to meet. Destined to be classmates and seatmates. And they were especially destined to fall for one another. NxM please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

I was just another girl with another story. A story that might have been known to the others, while some might find it the first. I had no idea that time that the story has already begun and was the prologue to something big.

:::::::::::::::::::

I was nothing but ordinary. Not so pretty, but not so eye-hurting either. I was one of the top of the class, but I was more like the easy going student who only studies at the last minute. Nothing special about that. It only turned out that I understand a lot faster and a lot easier than the rest. But really, if I had known then that this 'talent' called 'wisdom' would come in as a pretty bad tool, maybe I would have just raked my brain out.

If 'intuition' could be called as one of my talents, then it's a very useful but very hating talent. It comes in handy since I notice the very small details that a person might be hiding. A little disturbance in their mind, or a bit of emotional disturbance. I could sense it all; even those who lies. I could pretty much 'guess' what the issue is before anyone could say anything, and I find it useful. But sometimes, people get hurt or something when I hit the nail on the head. It's because whenever I speak, it would always be a 'bulls-eye'.

My friends consist of the class. I wasn't the mood maker or something, but they call me their 'laughter'. Maybe I couldn't crack jokes right, nor was I a talker, but I laugh easily; and cry just as easy. Whenever someone cracks, I would always be the hardest one to laugh. To the point where my eyes would be teary and my tummy would hurt. My laughter was one of their amusements. It was because I laugh whenever I remember the funny things even way, way after the bomb was dropped. Perhaps in a third person's point of view, I would be classified as one of the 'people under the red roof' since in silence, I would just laugh out of nowhere.

I walked along the hallway of the fourth floor to go the chemistry class. Chemistry, it was one of my dreaded subjects. I mean, what's the point of being so detailed when you grow up to be a business man? Every first class of the semester, the teachers would ask us, "Why do you think you need to take up this subject?" Honestly speaking, we would always answer the same thing: "Because it's in the curriculum." If it wasn't, who would take up such a class except for those who wants to be doctors, or chemists or anything that they will use the structure of an element for in the future.

I stepped in the classroom to find two people near my desk. The boy was standing while the girl was sitting on the edge of the table eating her snacks. Ruka and Hotaru were my childhood friends. Hotaru; it was more like I was her only best friend, Ruka being tossed aside. But in a way, they were also friends. She has a poker face, a never changing cold expression. She was called the 'ice princess'. Not that she cares or anything, which made it even more suiting for her. Well, her face might be blank, her words might be harsh, but her heart definitely wasn't as cold as her alias was.

Ruka. Well, he was the most gentle person I have ever met. Not to mention that he was also one of the most handsome. He's half and half, a japanese and a french. Blonde hair, blue eyes. He was just the typical image of a prince in a white horse in fairy tails. A smile was always on his face, and was very polite. Who wouldn't fall for someone like him?

Okay, I admit it. He was the person I loved the most. Maybe his warmth attracted me to him. He emits this warmth aura that makes me feel calm. His hands make me feel secure. Now, I might sound like a love struck fan girl, but being with him for the past thirteen years, I just couldn't help but fall for him.

I might be in love with him, but dang I wasn't the person who shows it. It was like, I just realized that I love him. But nothing more. No special treatment. That way, I could always be safe.

"Mikan!" He called me with a smile. I walked towards my desk and sat down.

"Why? Why does chemistry has to be the very first subject in the morning?" I asked them with a groan.

"Your complaints make you a lot uglier, idiot." And that means 'good morning' in Hotaru's dictionary. I chuckled in the thought. I couldn't believe that I already compiled an 'Imai's Dictionary'. When people who doesn't know her hear her speak, I would gladly lend them the dictionary so as to avoid misunderstandings.

"Life is so unfair. You always get a good grade while I am the hard worker." He pat me on the head. Which made my ears ting a bit.

"Don't touch her so casually, Nogi." Hotaru slapped his hands away.

"Aww. So, the 'ice princess' is concerned about her best friend." I kind of liked the sound of that. She don't seem like it, but I know that deep down, she's concerned about my well-being.

"No, Nogi. I was concerned about you. She might infect you with her idiocy." She stated that so nonchalantly with her poker face. It kinda hurts, but hearing it from her, it was kind of funny. I mean, they were at least friends. A bad-friend-relationship it seems, but still a friend no matter.

"Hotaru, so mean."

"Here." Ruka got something from his pocket and then handed it to me. It was a clip with a star, shining with glitters. "I saw it and kind of reminded me of you. So, there."

For a second there, I thought I saw his background glimmered. My heart 'thumped' and my ears got prickly. Why does he have to be so nice and so damn good looking and be my childhood friend? This must be torture…

"Thanks…" I glanced up to Hotaru, who by the way, knows everything about me; including my undying love for my childhood friend for almost ten years now. She didn't change her expression. I wondered what I was looking for in the first place? Maybe the sympathizing look that you get from a friend. Why? Simply because I know that Ruka already has someone he likes. To the point where he always talk about her.

I knew, through his stories, that I didn't have any chances of winning. The way he described her, I'd know that she's beautiful, smart and nice. The very ideal girl. A girl suited for him, the ideal guy.

Everyday was fun, until of course he opens his mouth and talk about the girl. The girl whom I don't even know the name yet nor have I seen. Everyday with his constant love struck gibbers, I kind of gave up already. Like, I really have to give up on this love.

Hotaru told me before, that his love right now might be just admiration of infatuation which eventually ends after a year or so. That kind of gave me a line of hope, but I figured out that the longer I hang on to it, the longer I suffer more.

::::::::::

"It must be sad to be you." Hotaru, for the first time – okay, scratch that. It wasn't the first time that she was the first to speak. She does that whenever two were alone and I wouldn't say a thing. I wasn't much of a talker, but when it was Hotaru, I narrate almost everything from scratch to ending of my life. That's the scale of my friendship with her.

I sighed. Must she say it that way? I slumped on the floor of the roof top, and sat beside Hotaru who was eating happily without worries.

"It is sad to be me. Hey! No! I mean, it's sad to be in this situation." I groaned and let out the stress that was building up inside me. "Why do I have to be his best-friend-slash-confrontation-booth-about-his-girl?"

"Correction. She's not yet his." She paused dramatically and used it to sip her milk a little and then added, "But he likes her."

I rolled my eyes. Trust her to make me face the worst case scenario. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks for scrubbing it on my face."

"Don't worry. You won't get any uglier."

A moment of silence passed. I wondered how many more days, months or years would it take before all the pain fades away? This was the first time that Ruka fell for someone. Before the girl came to his life, I was the center of his attention. I got spoiled by him to the point where people mistook us for couples. I was happy to the extreme. So happy that my heart felt like it would explode anytime anywhere. Thos ewere the times when I had a constant smile on my face that my jaws hurt. But now, it was all gone.

"So? What are you planning to do?" She asked me again. One of her eyebrows raised, as if daring me to answer honestly.

I sighed in defeat. "What more can I do?" The moment it escaped my mouth, I felt my chest hollowed. The air from my lungs got stucked and my insides got warm. My eyes started to water, but then I looked up in desperation to stop tears from falling. "I just have to go cheer for him."

"What a martyr. If I were you, I'd blast the girl out of this world and take him all for myself." She said that so nonchalantly that it made me chuckle.

"You're so mean." I wiped my tears with my fingers.

"Yeah. I know."

"What drama." It was a husky and low voice. A voice which sounded so calm yet powerful. So cool, yet so warm. I turned to look where the voice came from. Then, a figure stood up from up the rooftop's door entrance where the water tank is. It took a while before my eyes was adjusted to the light. My breath, my precious breath was held by the appearance of the guy. Raven hair, built body, handsome face. But what drew my attention more were his eyes. Crimson red eyes.

I felt like I was drowning from the sea of cold fire. That was how his gaze was. So cold, but then the color of his eyes were blazing hot. So contradicting, and it only made me drown more. I couldn't take my eyes off those eyes. It only sucked me in, to the point that my chest was hurting due to lack of air.

His eyes fell on me, and for a moment there I thought that his eyes widened up a bit. Snickers came out from his mouth with a smirk on his lips. He ruffled his messy hair, and then put those two hands inside his pocket. I didn't realize that I was staring at his eyes for such a long time. Not until I saw his lips open and heard him muttered, "Idiot."

I was suddenly pulled back into reality where it hit me in the head. He just called me an idiot. "What did you say?!" I stood up in heat. I wasn't angry, I was just embarassed to be caught off guard, more so when I was staring at him. "You! How dare you call me that? And who are you by the way?! You cut classes didn't you?!" And then my eyes noticed his clothes. "And you're not even wearing your uniform?"

I heard him 'tch'ed and then the most unbelievable thing I have yet seen happened right in front of my very own eyes; he jumped from were the water tank was. He jumped. With his own foot. And he landed unharmed. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him do that. Like I was the one who jumped and not him. How could he do those things? Why was he so amazing? Those are my thoughts regarding to that boy.

"So loud." He mumbled silenlty but enough for me to hear, and then he walked away with his hands still in his pocket.

I was left dumbfounded. I sat back and slouched beside Hotaru. I puffed and crossed my arms across my chest, feeling irritated. "Such an awful mouth!" He was really gorgeous, but his mouth stinks. For a moment there, the thought of my heart ache was temporarily forgotten. But I was too naïve for my own good. I thought it would last that way.

::::::::::

"Mikan. Let's go to the park after my club activities." Ruka enthustiastically invited me before the last subject started. Something was really off about him. He appeared to be more brilliant than earlier this day. His smile was wider. His eyes were sparkling, and his hands were trembling. I could imagine how excited he was that it made him tremble. And I could imagine why, or who made him be excited at the least. And of course, it wasn't the idea of going to the park with me. It was that girl's doing.

I clung to Hotaru like clinging to my own dear life. As if it was to be taken away. "Hotaruuuu. I think I might be dying…"

"That's good to hear." She said nonchalantly. "And don't cling on me. It gives me the creeps." I fixed myself up and grabbed my school bag with a sigh. How long are the gods going to torment me? And then the door bursted open and revealed a panting Ruka. Naturally, his face has a smile. A shining smile.

"Mikan! Let's go! Let's go! You too Imai!" He rushed to us and grabbed our wrists in excitement.

"Sorry to break you, but I can't go. I have plans." She brushed off his hand that held her wrist and then started to walk towards the door.

"Aw, Imai. You're just gonna go and rake some money, aren't you?" Ruka teased her. Hotaru, she's one workholic girl. Of course, it's the money that she wants. She's been saving ever since we were kids to achieve her dream: _Become a successful woman and live in luxury._ Therefore, her motto became, 'Money is Life'. She now has a business of her own, and impossible at it may seem, she a well-known paparazzi. She knows every secret a big person has. And she uses it for her own gain. And the term that describes it is 'Blackmail'.

She stopped her tracks and turned around to face us again. With a smug but nonchalant look on her face, she answered, "Obviously." And then she walked away.

I've got to admit that her answer gave me the chills. "She's scary." I muttered under my breathe, repressing the goosebumps that my best friend gave me.

"I know." I caught a glimpse on Ruka's face, and I was so surprised that he was sweating beads. "I don't want her to be an enemy. Good thing we're childhood friends." But then I realized something…

"You know that being a childhood friend won't make her stop turning her head to us when it comes to money, don't you?"

"Hah. You're right…"

::::::::::

"Ooooh. How long has it been since we last went here?" The park was still the same. This park was were we three used to play together as kids since it has a playground and all. Just behind those trees, a small river runs flowing. I remember that we often go there specially when the time of fireflies come. We often sneak out at night to go and see the fireflies swim around the air and light the park. It was magical in the eyes of the kids that we were. It was so amazing.

"Hey, remember the festival of fireflies here?" Ruka ran around the playground. "It's coming soon right? Oh! I remember we play with sand around here. And then, and then, we can find beatles under that tree." He kept on blabbering about how fun it was back then. On why he was playing with two girls and not the boys around his age. He just kept on talking. In a way, it was good to see him so full of energy. His dazzling smile was burning my eyes in a good way.

But deep down inside of me, my heart was burning. So hot that it hurts. Because I know, I know the reason behind his energetic self. And it hurts to know that it was not me. I was with him, beside him, but his mind and his heart were all so far away, looking at some other girl… Sometimes, I wish I can't sense things like this that easy and remain just as ignorant. Sometimes, I wish that we weren't born around the same block. Because I know, that being with him for the longest of time, made him look at me with a 'brotherly eyes'…

"So, what's with the memory lane?" I asked him out of the blue.

"Aw, Mikan. You're so gloomy! I'm just remembering things." He chuckled, taking my words as a joke. It was a joke in his ears, but in truth, it was me complaning. He sat down the nearest bench and looked at the stars. "Sorry. I'm just so happy." Of course, he was smiling. This time, I felt the distance between us. I was right beside him, but his eyes were fixed up the sky. I know, I knew then that 'she' was on his mind.

I walked towards the bench and sat beside him. "So, what happened with her?" I managed to ask despite the stiffening of my jaws. As the words left my mouth, I felt my chest tighten once again. My eyes were teary, but I managed to keep them in. I couldn't breathe. Just one question and it smothered me.

"Wah! How did you know?!" He turned to me so violently, giving away that he was really shocked.

I smiled bitterly. Why was I bitter? It was not like I didn't know what his answer was gonne be. I knew. But why? Why did I secretly wished that it wasn't 'her' but me? I knew that he was in love with 'her'. But why was I hurt? It wasn't like we were in a relationship. He wasn't mine to begin with. So, why do I feel like he's going away? "It's not like it's hard to guess." I answered him with a bitter smile, but I couldn't look directly to his eyes. I was afraid that once I look at him, my façade would betray me.

"Wow! You're amazing, Mikan! Haha. Looks like I can't hide anything from you." And then he sighed and once again looked up the starry sky. "Well, she's going to transfer to our school next term. I can't believe it. After this summer, she's gonna be with us. Maybe this time, I can introduce you to her."

My ears twitched. So, she's gonna come, huh? Looks like it's bye-bye time already. "Wait, what? You're gonna introduce _'me'_ to _'her'_?"

His smile became wider. "Yep! She's now my girlfriend. Just today! Just this lunch!" He announced happily to the world. He shouted it, like he was really proud. "She's mine! Haha!" Listening to his stories was heart wrenching. Listening to his announcement was more hurting. How much more when the next term comes and I see them together? I wondered how painful it would be.

"Oi, I hate to disturb your happy time. But it's really getting late and I have somewhere I have to go." My tough character automatically showed up for defence. That was how I could endure things. I pretend that it has nothing to do with me, and then my face would tighten, my eyes would sharpen. And then I couldn't feel anything anymore. But then, that façade was good. Too good that nobody but Hotaru could see through it. It was kind of disappointing how he, my childhood friend, couldn't even see the things I was hiding. I thought that he couldn't see. It was much more relieving than thinking that he see through it, but he doesn't do anything about it. I just want to believe even just a little. I just wanted to be selfish.

"Ah! I am so sorry! Alright then. Thank you for listening, Mikan."

I smiled back at him. "It's alright. Okay, I'm going on ahead. See you tomorrow loverboy." With that, I walked away not turning back to look at him even once. My feet were moving, but I didn't know where I was going. My head was spinning, and my sight was getting blurry by the second.

I stopped my tracks and then my tears came rolling down. The air of suffocation came running to me and embraced me once again. I was deprived of air, my chest hurts. It felt so tight that I couldn't breathe. I didn't know how long I kept on crying. I just did, until my knees gave up on me and I fell to the ground. I didn't know what I was doing. I just lie there on the ground crying. I didn't even notice where I was. All I know was that…it was painful. So painful.

After my moment of crying, I stood up and fixed myself. I could not believe that I just lied down on the dirty floor. It was then that I noticed where I was. I was at the northern park where very few passes by since it was isolated.

My feet started to move around. I didn't know where it was taking me, but it was like it knows where it was supposed to go. It felt like something was calling, that something was pulling me. To the dark area of cherry blossom trees, I found a figure of a man lying under. When I saw the figure, I temporarily forgot why I was crying. My heart skipped a beat for a reason and I just ran to him, thinking that maybe something was wrong.

"Hey! Hey!" I shook him. My heart was racing, my head was thinking all of the 'what if's. What if he was robbed or something? What if he's wounded? Should I call the ambulance and the police? "Are…are you alright? Hey! Should I call the ambulance?"

And then…ever so slowly, his eyes opened and revealed his crimson eyes. It was shining under the moonlight, giving off a melow feeling. Once again, my breath was taken away. I couldn't revert my eyes away from his. My world stopped again. It was the boy from earlier with those magical eyes that could always make me forget everything else. I was convinced then that he put me under his spell. And just as fast as the second, his eyes sharpened. Like a wild animal taking its defence.

"What the-? It's just the polka-dotted panty girl." He said irritatingly and he messed with his hair again, taking off his gaze on me. Once his eyes were away, I could suddenly feel the cool breeze of the air again.

"Eh?" He then stood up and started to walk away. And like a meteor falling, I realized what he meant. "Eh?! Wha-? How…?! How did you know?!" I ran to him feeling so embarassed. But inside, I remembered how he snickered earlier on the rooftop. I was sitting then, with my skirt and all...

He stopped his tracks and turned to me. "Why the hell are you following me, little girl?"

"Who're you calling 'little girl'?! I'm not little anymore! And I don't know either why I'm following you!" I shouted on his face.

"What the heck?! Leave me alone! Ugly! Are you a lost dog or something?!" His voice was so powerful. But I didn't even flinch. Call me stupid or what, but I didn't get scared in his yelling and in his sharp glare.

"What 'ugly' you pervert! And how did you know what undies I'm wearing?!" I stomped my feet in irritation. I stupidly asked even though I kind of knew already.

"You're not even gonna deny it?" He asked in amusement.

"Why would I deny it when it's the truth?!" I felt like crying. Why was he making me say such embarassing stuff?

He didn't answer back. He just kept staring at me as my tears fell rolling on my cheeks. Why was I even crying? I didn't know why. More so in front of the person I just saw today.

I cried and cried for who knows how long, until everything went dark.

::::::::::

"I can't believe that guy!" I complained to Hotaru early morning the next day. "He just left me sleeping in the park! I can't believe it! When I opened my eyes, it was the middle of the night and he was nowhere in sight! He didn't even bother to cover me with a jacket or something. I mean, I am a girl! No matter how flat chested I am, I am still a girl and I declare it no matter what!" I huffed. We were inside the classroom, waiting for the teacher for the first period to come. Hotaru was just seating in front of me, so it was not a problem for me to talk to her while waiting.

Hotaru just stared at me, and then she opened her mouth. "I can't believe it." She said.

"Right?! He was so not a gentleman!" I crossed my arms across my chest.

"I can't believe how stupid you are." She added.

"Ha?"

"Do you even know him?"

I shook my head.

She rolled her eyes. "Why do you expect some stranger to be so damn good to you? Was he running a charity for a homeless dog?"

My ears perked up and then I chuckled in realisation. "Wow! Hotaru! He also asked the same thing! You're so great!"

"Okay, okay class. Settle down please." Narumi-sensei came in to start the day. He was my favorite teacher. He was so cool in my eyes even if the others saw him as weird. He wasn't weird. He just liked the frilly and lacey stuff, and he was just too happy for them. But anyway, Narumi usually won't come unless he would make an announcement or make us do something really important. It's not like we were complaining or something. "Please welcome your new classmate."

"What? But we only have a week left before summer vacation." I heard Koko asked. Koko was the joker of the class, and I really like him. He makes me laugh no matter what.

"Well, he has his reasons." I noticed that Narumi tried to avoid the question. "Please enter."

The doors banged open and revealed him. Yes, it was him. My blood suddenly rushed to my head, but I managed to not shout at him. But yes, I glared at him. Once he faced the class, silence fell over. It was like they could feel the intimidating aura that surrounded him. But then, a roaring shrieks of the girls overthrew the silence.

"So cool!"

"Please be my boyfriend!"

"No! He's mine!"

They were all arguing, until Sumire stood up. She was, well, she felt like she was the leader of the class. If there was something, it was because she was the most aggressive of us all. Though most of us really follow Ruka and not her. She was also one of the dying fans of Ruka. That was how popular he was.

"I've decided! You, pretty boy, is our idol! I'm going to change the name of our fanclub from Ruka loved to…Sensei! What's his name?" She asked.

"Oh." Narumi-sensei looked like he was pulled out of his trance. "He is Natsume Hyuuga."

Silence fell once again. I found it amusing how the class fell from silence to roaring to silence. And then they roared again.

"He's a Hyuuga?!"

"Hyuuga…"

They were all mumbling and muttering things I couldn't understand like stocks or something. I poked Hotaru on the back. "Hotaru, what's with that?"

"Hyuuga corporation. The largest company in Japan covering from finance to electronics. Even hotels and resorts." She answered in a way which I could understand. I was shocked of course, who would have known that he was such a rich boy? Well, Ruka was also a rich boy, but not as rich as him.

"Oh." That was all I could say.

"And now, I'm announcing who his partner should be." Narumi even stirred up the roaring class. It was like a stampede was gonna happen soon.

"Me! Sensei!"

"NO! Me! I'd gladly abandon my partner!"

The thing is, we were partnered randomly by Narumi. Ruka and Hotaru were partners, but I have none. Which made me do things alone the hard way. And also, it would make me the easiest target for the partner candidacy. But I sure hope it wouldn't be me.

"Mikan Sakura." Narumi called me.

"Yes?" I thought he just called out my name, but looking to the crestfallen faces of the girls, I understood why he called me. He just made me the partner of that obnoxious brat, Natsume Hyuuga. "WHAT?!" I stood up in shock which caught his attention.

In my view, I saw him smirked so smugly. Like he was belittling me or something.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mikan Sakura." Narumi called me.

"Yes?" I thought he just called out my name, but looking to the crestfallen faces of the girls, I understood why he called me. He just made me the partner of that obnoxious brat, Natsume Hyuuga. "WHAT?!" I stood up in shock which caught his attention.

In my view, I saw him smirked so smugly. Like he was belittling me or something.

::::::::::

I could not believe that I just became the partner of that brat who left me alone and defenseless in the park last night. Well, Hotaru did have a point. Why would he be good to someone he doesn't even know? But, if that was the case, why was I worried for him when I saw him lying on the ground even when I did not know him?

"Do you have any questions?" Narumi asked the class. He was still introducing the new comer to us, and gods, the time seemed to be slower than usual. Or at least that was how I felt.

Koko raised his hand and then asked, "Why did you transfer just now?"

Silence fell once again. This time, I was listening attentively. It got me curious why he transferred when we only got a week left before the summer. Could it be family problems? But then, he was a rich boy. What could be the problem? I saw him twitched. His sharp crimson eyes felt like it would cut through us right there and then.

"None of your business." He answered briefly.

I felt a vein popped in my head. Did he just say that it was none of our business?

"What? I'm just trying to be friendly!" Koko pouted, obviously hurt on what Natsume just said.

And then, I saw Sumire walked towards Natsume with her hips swinging from left to right. Her long artificial eye lashes were batting, and then he clung to his arms. "Aw, Koko. Don't be mad. He's just shy."

Natsume glared at her, and then he yanked her wrist violently that Sumire's face showed her pain. "You wanna know why I transferred here? Coz of violence. I got fed up and beat up someone who tried to cross my way."

That was when I was convinced. This kid has a serious problem. The amazement that the class showed earlier has vanished in an instant, and a terror atmosphere clouded the room. It wasn't just his words, his whole presence was shouting 'dangerous', 'off-limits', 'stay away'.

"Where's my seat?" He turned and asked Narumi, who just smiled at him.

"Please seat beside Mikan Sakura. Mikan, please be nice to him." I know. I knew then that Narumi tried to stop the conversation from progressing any further. He was trying to avoid anymore scenes.

Natsume walked towards me, and as usual, I couldn't take my eyes off him. His eyes were so inviting, it sucked me in whole. I wondered, when was I going to be able to resist those eyes of his? When could I free my self from the bounding spell that he casted upon me?

"You." He smirked once again when he saw me up close. He might be remembering what happened last night. "Polka."

When I heard him said that, I snapped back to reality. "I have a name Mr. Pervert! And that's Mikan!"

"Hn." That was all he said, and then he sat beside me. He occupied the window seat, the seat which I dreaded so badly for so long.

::::::::::

"You know each other?" Ruka asked me when we were eating lunch at the roof top. My mind was so occupied with that brat the whole time that I almost forgot Ruka. Of course. I was back to reality that I should face. I was kind of hoping on not seeing him today, but Natsume made me forgot my plan.

Now, I was facing Ruka. The person I didn't want to see. Seeing him just made his words that he said last night echo through my mind. 'She's mine! She's mine! She's mine!'. He shouted it so proudly last night. Ruka was so in love with her, just as I was with him. My chest started to tighten, I couldn't consume air again. The thought of Ruka holding 'her' hands, Ruka embracing 'her', Ruka kissing 'her'…

They were officially boyfriend and girlfriend yesterday. Of course they could kiss. It was painful enough imagining, how much more when I see it?

"Not really." I managed to answer him in spite of my face tightening.

"They just met yesterday." It was Hotaru. She just saved me from talking, knowing that I was on the verge of losing my composure. I was so scared to speak, thinking my voice could betray me anytime. But she was really my best friend. She could see through my façade, just as I could see through her nonchalant expression. And Ruka couldn't see through Hotaru, just as he couldn't see through me. "They met here yesterday, and then at the northern park last night."

"Oh? Ah! So he was the one you had to meet with." He chuckled in his own ideas, whatever they were. He was not a bit affected that I met with someone late at night. And at the northern ark the least, where people don't come. What should I have expected?

"Ruka." Hotaru called him. "I can't take how stupid you are."

Ruka laughed even more, taking what Hotaru said as nothing serious. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just so shocked that she knows a guy like Hyuuga. Ah! Imai, remember the girl I was talking about? She's mine now! We just started going out yesterday. Ah, I am so happy I could die…"

Yes. And I was so hurt I could die.

Hotaru sighed. "Mikan, you've got to hurry and go fetch Hyuuga."

"What?" I didn't have any appointment or promise with Hyuuga for lunch. Hotaru just gave me a blank look which made me realize, it was her saving me from hearing any more of Ruka's rumblings. "Ah, yes. Then, I'll leave first."

I tried to clear my mind as I walked around the school. My feet were dragging me again to some place, but I didn't mind. I just have to go far away from Ruka. Once I pulled myself together, I found myself in the middle of the cherry blossom garden. It seemed to me like every time I was out of it, I would end up coming where the trees were. I inhaled the breath of the fresh air. The smell of the flowers lingered under my nose, and it made me relax.

I sat under a particular tree. I didn't know why there.

I looked around, left and right, scanning the area whether there are people around or none. When I confirmed that there was no one who could possibly see or hear me, I took a deep breath and shouted, "STOOOOOOPP!! You stupid girl! Stop right now!!" I was talking to myself, commanding my heart to stop being in pain. Was that even possible? I didn't know. I just wanted the pain to stop embracing me every now and then.

"What the hell?!" I heard the familiar voice. It came from near me, but there was no one when I looked around. When no one appeared, that was when I started to freak out. Could I have hallucinated? Or it could be that I just heard a ghost talk to me.

"Who-who's there?" My voice was shaking, my knees were trembling. I was so afraid I swear I could have peed on my skirt right then.

"…" Silence was the only answer.

"Are…are you a ghost?" I asked stupidly.

"What?" He asked me back.

And then I couldn't take it anymore, I fell on my knees and burst into tears. "I'm so sorry I disturbed you! I didn't know! I'm sorry! Please don't be mad! Please don't hurt me!" I said in the middle of my cries.

A figure then jumped from the tree which made me shriek even more.

"Polka! Are you really that stupid?!" He yelled at me. I opened my eyes when he shouted, and made me saw the never denying truth. The raven haired boy with burning crimson eyes looked at me in disbelief. I cried realising that it was just Natsume. It was just him. Just Natsume. Not a ghost.

"You idiot! How dare you scare me like that? I was so scared!" I managed to say between my cries and hiccups. He just looked at me with curious eyes. Maybe it was really stupid that I thought it was a ghost. But there was no one around when I heard the voice. Who wouldn't be alarmed?

"..." He just continued to look at me.

"And I'm still mad at you! You left me alone last night! Why didn't you wake me up?" I burst at him. I knew that it was pointless to be mad, but I just wanted to take it out on someone. "And for your information, it's not polka today! It's strawberries!" I stupidly admitted.

"Strawberries?" He asked in disbelief. I knew it was a really dumb thing to do, but I just didn't want him to call me polka. "Tch. Little girl." He mumbled.

He sat down at the opposite side of the tree we were under. When I managed to calm myself down, I stood up to buy some drinks. "Natsume, wait here okay? Don't leave. I'm gonna be back in a jiffy. Okay?" I told him without waiting for an answer. When I was a meter away, I called out to him again. "Don't move a finger okay?!"

I found the vending machine and bought some soda. I wanted to buy the strawberry milk since it was my favorite, but it was out of stock. When I came back to the tree, Natsume was no longer around.

I drank the soda in one gulp in anger. Why would he leave when I told him specifically not to even move a finger?

The bell rang so I hurriedly went back to the classroom, the soda still in my grasp. When I entered, it was him I first saw. His feet were on his desk, his hands in his pocket, and a manga covering his face. I stomped my way on my desk which was beside him.

"Natsume." I called, but he didn't even flinch. "Oi, Natsume." Still no answer.

I sat down on my chair and fetched my favorite sticker note shaped heart and wrote 'Stupid Natsume' with a drawing of an angry face. After that, I stuck it on the soda and put it on his desk.

Later on, the teacher came in. But Natsume still wasn't moving. The teacher looked at him, but they couldn't really do anything. They were all afraid of him, not just to his family background but also to what Natsume can do himself.

The long day ended with nothing much. I saw that obnoxious brat stood up, stare at the soda I gave him, and then threw it on the trash can.

"Hotaruu!" I clung on Hotaru after Natsume left. "He's so mean! He threw it away without hesitation!"

She rolled her eyes on me. "What are you going to do when you wake up, saw a food with a note saying 'Stupid Mikan', and you don't know where it came from?"

I thought about it for a while. If I see some anonymous gift, of course I would never consume it. Specially when the note was insulting me. But that soda came from me! I would never even dare to poison him. And then it clicked. I forgot to write my name on the note...

::::::::::

It was just fine earlier, but now, thunder were roaring along with the flashes of lightning. As usual, I was alone in the house. Mom was busy for work ever since my dad died and she was rarely home. But she would call me every now and then, she would even go home even for a while whenever she's got the time.

I curved myself in a ball. The maids were on a day off, leaving me really all alone.

I really hated thunder and lightning because it was also a stormy night when my dad died in a car accident.

My heart almost jumped out of my chest when I heard the front door banged open. Heavy footsteps were heard outside. No one was supposed to come here. Was that a burglar? If it was, I didn't know what to do. Goosebumps covered me all over when I heard the footsteps stopped in front of my room. Could it be that the burglar knew where I was?

I hurriedly but quietly jumped off the bed and went under it. He was so quiet, only his footsteps were heard along with the noisy beat of my heart.

He stopped in front of my bed, and then suddenly lifted up the covers to peek under. I flinched when he saw me and tears came down rolling. When he reached out to me...I screamed.

"Noooo! No! Please! Leave me alone!" I screamed while crying.

"Mikan!" He called out. It was the voice I always wanted to hear, the voice I always loved. "It's me..."

With that, I clung on to him with my dear life while crying. It was Ruka...

"I knew that you hate storms. And I thought you're scared to death by now so I came here." He hugged me back while I just cried. Gently, he lead me back on my bed and we lied there.

He didn't let go of me while I was trembling under his arms. It was so warm, so gentle. It felt so good that it overthrew the fear I was feeling earlier.

I hugged him tight, not wanting to let go. While all the while, I was silently praying: please don't be nice. I'm already hurt as it is... but it was just a silent prayer. I couldn't voice it out. Scared that once I do, he would be obliged to grant it. I didn't want him to be nice. But i also didn't want him to leave...

Him being there in a stormy night just to comfort me...only made me fall in love all over again.

::::::::::

"Hotaru! Good morning!" My day started with a smile on my face. I was really in a good mood because of what happened last night. I felt like I was on cloud nine. My eyes instantly fell on Natsume who was sitting just like yesterday, with his feet on top of the table and his manga on his face. He really looked proud with the way he sat. Even his aura was yelling that he wasn't just somebody. He was one of the royalties. "Morning Natsume." I greeted him, and waited for a while for his answer. Silenced passed between us and then I knew that he wouldn't even look at me nor greet me, but I didn't mind. I knew that one day, he would be nice.

The door slid open and Ruka came in. With him in sight, everyone started to smile and greet him a good morning. "Morning Mikan, Imai." He walked towards us after he put his bag on his own desk. "Imai, you were so right about last night!"

My ears twitched and my heart skipped a beat. For some reason, I thought I already knew what was going on.

"She really was scared to death." Ruka continued. "I even found her under her bed and she screamed like there was no tomorrow! Ha ha. If only you were there, Imai. Anyway, how did you know that she was alone last night?"

I couldn't look at Ruka nor Hotaru. Of course. How else could Ruka knew that I was alone last night if it wasn't from Hotaru? My merry mood dissolved in an instant. I really thought that it was in his own whim that he went to me. But knowing Hotaru, she must have even blackmailed him just to make him come running to me. My insides turned upside down and all the life drained out from me to the drainage. I regretted coming that morning. I regretted hearing the truth. I hoped that I remained blind. I hoped I didn't cling to him hopelessly last night. I hoped he didn't come so I wouldn't have to feel that way.

My feelings were hurt. I was in pain, but I couldn't get myself to hate him from my own stupid naivete or Hotaru from knowing that I must have been afraid and since she couldn't come to me, she called one she trusted. Tears were threatening me that anytime now they would fall and I didn't know what excuse I'd have to make so Ruka won't suspect a thing. Such good timing as it was, screams and shrieks came from out of our classroom.

Everyone was startled. We stopped from talking, every eyes out of the room. I forgot that I was about to cry and my tears stayed still inside my tear duct.

"It's him! It's really him!"

"No way! That guy from the TV last night?!"

"He's so cool!"

"He's there! It's Natsume-sama!"

"He's sleeping!"

I look at Natsume who flinched in irritation. Everyone inside the room who saw how Natsume could be when angered, felt the growing tension. Dangerously slow, Natsume lifted his feet off the table, removed the manga off his face and sat up quietly. His eyes sharp glared outside. My classmates had sense enough to stay as far away from him as possible. But unfortunately, those girls outside didn't have any sense. Instead of reading the atmosphere, they shrieked out even more to his 'cold and aloof' personality. Others might have even fainted.

Realising the noise won't stop anytime soon, he stood up. I was wondering where he must be going since the entrance was jammed pack. To my horror, he opened the window, mounted on the window sill and jumped off. We were all dumbstruck. We were on the second floor! The shrieks of the fan girls outside were drowned inside my head because of what i just realised. I quickly leaned over the window to see whether he was fine or not. Even I could feel the tension of the room when all of my other classmates ran to the window to look.

My heart almost stopped when I saw him walking away, perfectly fine. I was so afraid. My ears were ringing from nervousness and so I screamed. "NATSUME, YOU IDIOT!" He stopped for a second and looked back at me but made no retort and walked away again.

I ran around the school once the break bell launched to find that brat who just jumped off the window. Thinking about Natsume, I knew one place he must have been having his retreat. He must be there, under or up a tree sleeping and enjoying the silence. It must be. Even if I have known him for only a little, I knew how much less talker he was than me and that he loved silence.

When I made it to the tree, I was shocked to see that what I thought was just exactly right. He was under the tree sleeping, a manga covering his face. Anger took over me so I stomped my foot and screamed at him.

"Natsume you big oaf! People don't go around jumping from the second floor! What if you got injured?!" I wasn't really angry at all. It was more like concern. I was so afraid earlier that he might have gotten hurt from that jump and being his partner wouldn't make it any easier for me. Scratch that. Even if he wasn't my partner, I would be concern. Anybody would! Even if it wasn't him who jumped but my other classmate, I would still yell at their stupidity.

Maybe I had no right to yell at him nor accuse anybody of being stupid when me myself knew that I was one of those stupid persons. But I was just really upset I didn't even know why.

He removed the manga covering his face and looked at me sharply, his eyebrows coiled in irritation. "..."

"Natsume, please. We don't really want you getting hurt. Even if you're one hell of a bastard, you're still one of our classmates. And we were so concerned about you I must say they must have been looking for you right about now." I sighed, my voice trembling trying to control my anger.

"Mind your own damn business." He hissed and then he covered his face again with the manga.

"What?! Maybe we shouldn't really have bothered to scream our hearts out when we saw you jump off!" Slightly strong wind passed by me, making my hair dance with it. It felt so calm, it caressed me and soothed me from my anger. I sighed, ready to control my voice again. When I looked at him, he was smirking. "What are you smirking at?"

He then stood up and started to walk away from me, but I was so stubborn I followed him. "So, today it's no polka nor strawberries but stripes?"

I wasn't really listening attentively. I was looking around, searching for a vending machine to quench my thirst. I then located one, which we were about to pass by. Slowly, my mind began to process what he just said after I saw that vending machine. 'Polka', 'strawberries', 'stripes'... I stopped in front of that machine when I realized that he was commenting, again, on my underwear. "You really are such a huge pervert, Hyuuga!" I narrowed my eyes at him.

He didn't stop from walking to insult me or anything, which made me thought that the conversation ends there. My eyes focused on the big electric ice box containing drinks and saw the one I was dying to have for days. "Strawberry milk!" I almost jumped of joy, forgetting that I was mad just moments ago. In the corner of my eyes, I saw Natsume stopped walking. "Oh, I thought it was strawberry milk. It was just another soda." I said before I could think of something. I didn't know why I lied. It was really a strawberry milk but something about Natsume made me want to lie. And then I saw him started to walk again. I was looking at him now very attentively. "Oh?! There it is! At the corner!" I shouted enough for him to hear. I didn't know half the time what I was doing, but when he stopped his tracks again, I understood what my mouth was saying all this time.

I giggled seeing how Natsume reacted on the word 'strawberry milk'. "How cute!" I couldn't control myself and just laughed hysterically.

He walked towards me, eyes glowing in fury, darkness behind him, and kicked me on the butt that made me fall on the ground. But I was so busy laughing that it didn't even hurt. "Are you making fun of me?" He hissed dangerously.

"Hahaha! You should have seen yourself, Natsume!"

He pressed his foot harder behind me but it only tickled me and made me laugh even more. "Stop! Natsume! It tickles!" My head was spinning so violently, my stomach almost cramped on laughter, and Natsume was infuriating with anger because of me.

"You've got guts, you damned ugly little girl. You want to try what hell I can give you?" His eyes were still glowing in anger. It was then that everything got even darker when I heard Ruka's voice rang so loud.

"OI! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO HER?!" He didn't even wait for anyone to speak but punched Natsume straight on the face. I always thought that Ruka was strong, but seeing that his punch made Natsume just step back twice, I got chills wondering how strong Natsume must have been. Without any second thought, he stroke back at Ruka twice or thrice as hard.

On my dread, Ruka fell immediately on the floor, his mouth bleeding. "Ruka!" The laughing and funny feeling I got from Natsume fled the scene with tail between its legs. Natsume was about to blow a strike again on him so I covered for the fallen Ruka. "No! Please... please stop. I'm sorry. He didn't know what he was doing. Please! Please!" Natsume's crimson eyes became so sharp it pained me to look at him directly to his eyes. Before, I thought that his eyes might just suck me in but now, they were rejecting me so painfully. My chest hurt feeling how angry Natsume was, I didn't know why. Maybe because he was really terrifying.

When he stormed away, my knees gave up on me and my tears rolled down. Why was I even crying? I felt Ruka's hands embraced me which made me cry even more.

"Ssh... It's alright now, Mikan. I'm here now." He said, but I just kept on crying without me even knowing the reason why. All I could remember was Natsume's angry, sharp, and cold eyes looking down on me. That was the first time ever that I got afraid of him.

Moments later, I could feel everything around me again. The numbness I felt earlier was gone, and I realized that Ruka carried me to the infirmary. "Ruka..." I tried to catch his attention so I could explain what was really going on.

"Mikan. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there a little earlier." He spoke so fast, his voice trembling. "Maybe if I got there earlier, you wouldn't be -"

"Ruka." I cut him off. I didn't know why I felt irritated all of a sudden. "Why did you punch him?" I asked him quietly, almost in whisper.

He looked at me with puzzled eyes. "Because I saw him hurting you."

I smiled at the irony of life. Natsume was hurting me, he said. If Natsume was hurting me, then maybe Ruka was killing me. I smiled bitterly at him. "No...no." I whispered. "We were having fun. I was just teasing him and he was riding on my joke." I was convinced about the part where I was having fun. Only I wasn't sure whether Natsume felt that way too when he was teasingly kicking me or whether it was really a teasing kick. But I was so busy laughing my head off to notice that.

Ruka looked at me in disbelief. "But he was kicking you! You were on the floor!" He stood up in sudden burst of anger which made me flinch. He turned his back on me. His hand combed his hair while the other was placed on his waist.

I suddenly felt like the tireness I felt was washed away seeing how concerned Ruka was over me. I wanted to laugh but I stopped myself from doing so. But the smile unconsciously crept on my face. "No, Ruka. It didn't hurt at all. Actually, to tell you the truth, it was ticklish that I was laughing my heart out."

He turned to me again. Maybe he was tired to argue, so he just let out a sigh and just nodded once. "Fine."

That was when my giggles came out from my mouth. At first, he just looked at me. Later on, I saw him smile shaking his head lightly. And then he sat beside me. "What are you laughing at?" He asked me with a smile.

My grin became even wider if it was possible and my giggles echoed throughout the empty infirmary. "Nothing."

"No. That's not the laugh of 'nothing'. What are you laughing at?" He asked again, now his arms around my shoulders and my head against his shoulders.

I laughed harder. "I just can't believe what happened. You were so out of it, almost funny."

For a while, we stayed there like that. Talking about nonsense at all. Me? I was silently thanking Natsume.


	3. Chapter 3

The last week of the term before the summer break passed by quickly but I didn't even get to talk to Natsume. I wanted to apologize to him about what happened, but it just seemed like he was avoiding me. I was kind of hurt since I really wanted to befriend him. Well, I didn't have the right to be hurt since he was the one who just got punched out of the blue. I made it my goal to talk to him once I see him. Whether it must be the next term or even during summer vacation. I would even gladly drag him even while he was busy biting my head off.

Anna, Nonoko and even Sumire called me up to go shopping and I agreed thinking I might get the chance to see him. If not, well at least I enjoyed. Hotaru just gave me a list of things she wanted me to buy since she would be busy for her work. Me, being a devoted best friend, didn't mind at all wanting to at least make her feel a little light.

We were eating at a cute restaurant after the massive shopping of Sumire. We have always known how fashion fanatic she was, but everytime we go shopping, we would always be surprised like it was new to us.

"…and then Koko was like 'Oh my God!'. I would never forget that one!" Said Sumire followed by a laugh. We were talking about the funniest things that happened to us that week and having our laugh. We have been going to this restaurant ever since our first day of high school so we had a regular spot in window side. It would always be reserved to us by the manager.

It was then that my eyes wandered out the window and saw the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Her hair was shining against the sunlight making it golden brown, her skin was like a porcelain doll sprinkled with magical glitters. She moved minimally but every movement was conducted gracefully. Her head was held up high while walking that made her look very elegant. The air surrounding her was screaming 'royalty'. Like every strand of air that passes by her was filtered by her touch.

I couldn't take my eyes off her. And I thought, she was what every girl dreams of becoming. I almost choked on my drink when I saw two guys hitting on her. They yanked her wrist as she tried to struggle her way free.

"Sorry guys, I'll be back in a jiffy." I stood up violently that made them jump off their seats and then I stormed out. I ran as fast as I can without an absolute plan in mind. I didn't care. What I wanted that very moment was to help the girl.

"No. Don't touch me! Leave me alone." I heard her say. Her voice was trembling but what amazed me the most was that she was still holding her head up. She was very proud even in a pinch.

I glanced on the two hitters and almost shivered. I never liked to judge people on their appearance, but what I saw sent chills down my spine. They looked like they have just gotten out of the jail and were on the wanted list. I took a deep breathe and stepped forward.

"There you are, honey. I was looking everywhere for you." I said in a seductive voice. I even matched the look of my eye to the character I was portraying. Even the movements were like that of a lover. It was a good thing that I knew how to act! The two guys looked at me without saying a word but I paid them no attention. I walked towards her and put my face close enough to hers to make the two guys see it as a 'kiss on the lips'. The girl just blinked her eyes on me.

I then coiled my hands around her waist and made myself looked as lustful as I could. It was then that I decided to let the two guys in on my little play. "And? Why are you still here?" I asked them but they couldn't answer nor move a muscle. "We kind of have a reservation in a hotel, so please excuse us." I smiled a terror smile that I learned from Sumire. The one where even though she was smiling still sent chills down my spine. I called that talent of hers 'devil smile'.

I dragged the girl with me as fast as possible inside the restaurant. At least there, we were safe. Once we got on our table, my knees gave up on me.

"I was so scared!" I cried animatedly on Sumire who just pat me on the head.

"Mikan! You were so cool! It almost made me fall for you!" Anna teased me with a laugh.

"Anyway, are you alright?" Nonoko asked the girl whom I just saved.

She wasn't talking, maybe too shocked on what I just did. "What…just happened?" She asked quietly and then she looked at me with caution. Because of that, roaring laughter from my three friends erupted like a volcano.

"Don't worry! She's not a lesbian or something! Trust me, she's more like a baby than you could ever imagine." Sumire said in between her laughs. "Anyway, do you have plans? You wanna join us?"

She looked cautious again. "Don't worry. It really was just an act." Nonoko reassured her and it made her sit with us.

"So, what's your name?" Anna asked in eagerness.

"I'm Luna."

She was cautious at first, but half an hour later, they were all talking like no other. In just thirty minutes, they have talked about the latest fashion trend, the cover of a magazine, the latest showbiz scandal, who's girlfriend of who. They even got to talk about different malls, resorts, how their visit there was like, and which country they prefer to have their honeymoon is. I didn't even get to understand what they were talking about. First, because I really had no interest whatsoever on what they were talking about. Second, they talked so fast and jumped from one topic to another that before I had a full grasp, they were talking about another topic again. In the end, I just gave up.

I made myself busy in watching people around me. I saw a girl wearing such frilly dress that people were looking at her with weird eyes. And then I wondered, why are they looking at her weirdly? One has her own right to choose whatever wardrobe she wants. And then I saw someone walking a dog, which made me remember my Pomeranian back in France. I named her Elisa and just as her name sounds proud, she was proud herself. I remembered then that when Hotaru and Ruka visited with us there, she immediately got accustomed to the both of them while it took me long enough before I tamed her.

Luna's heavy sigh made my head back on our table again. "Boys…" She said like a tired nurse. "You have to always keep yourself in check just to make sure he's still looking at you."

"Oh my. I know exactly what you mean." Sumire exasperatingly agreed with her. Now, they were talking about love?

"Are you that experienced in boys? I mean, if you are, can you help us?" Anna asked excitedly. I never knew that Anna has also that kind of side. I guess I was too busy minding my own broken heart that I didn't notice the people around me. Thinking that way made me feel a it guilty, so I tried to listen to them.

"Yeah! You know, about how to catch their attention?" Nonoko even added oil in the fire.

"Girls, why don't you learn from me?" Sumire asked with such proudness.

Anna rolled her eyes. "Sumire, they look at you because you're always yelling at them."

Luna chuckled in Anna's comment. "You know, you always have to do what your man wants you to do." She started. And then I thought, just like a slave? "If he's looking for a demure girl, you have to act all cutesy and helpless even if you're itching to kick some ass." She said those with the proudness of an expert. In my mind, I was opposing her. If you were only showing what he wanted to see then, where is the love there? "If he wants an energetic girl, then drink a gallon of energy booster drink if you must! But, you always have to make yourself pretty."

The three girls were listening to her like kids. They even nod every now and then while I was just watching them.

"If you show them what they like, they'll give you what you want," Luna added. "They'll treat you like princesses. They're easy creatures, too stupid you can control them around your tiny fingers."

"You know, you're absolutely right!" Sumire was the only one who agreed on her. Anna, Nonoko and me just remained silent and didn't make any comment on what she said. Not that she noticed the sudden silence.

I was still thinking about what Luna said when I got to Hotaru's house. As usual, she was busy printing her photos, editing videos, and also inventing gadgets. Yes, Hotaru was a genius. She could create something from scraps and make it useful.

"And then she said that they are so stupid. I wonder how she thinks about her boyfriend?" I narrated the whole story to Hotaru. She wasn't looking at me, but I knew that she was listening.

"Did she actually told you she had a boyfriend?" She asked me, eyes still fixed on her job.

"No. But the way she speaks made it clear that her boyfriend really make her feel loved." I smiled. "Though I feel bad for the boyfriend." I wondered how it would feel, to have someone make you feel special. Like you're the only girl in the world, treating you like a princess. Or maybe... treating you like he won't treat others.

She didn't comment on that. Maybe she saw me wander off my own lalaland and decided not to bother me. A vibration and the message alert tone woke me up from my day dreaming. "Ah! It's from Koko. Seems like we're going all together to the festival. You're coming, right?"

"I'll think about it." Normally, when people say that they would think about it, it meant that they won't be going. But when it came from Hotaru, that means she's definitely going. It was one of the many things written in my 'Imai's Dictionary'.

Another message was sent to me before I could take on a comment about what she said. "Ah! It's Tsubasa-senpai. Sorry, Hotaru. Gotta go." I didn't need to explain much to her since she knew what was going on.

Tsubasa-senpai was, well, my senpai. He was a year older than me, and he was my secret refuge. He was like a brother to me, and he treats me like a little sister. We had a huge secret we told only a few people about and Hotaru was one of the few who knew about it. We perform as a band and do part-time jobs in different places, even bars or streets, just out of fun. Okay, it wasn't really a secret. It was just that, we don't usually talk about it when we were in school grounds. And, since people in our school were all rich and snob, they wouldn't usually go to places where we perform so they didn't know we were musicians.

This time, we were invited to have a gig in Tono-senpai's friend's bar. The salary the manager would give us, we usually stock away the half to give for charity. And the rest, we spend it for celebrations. We weren't exactly the people who needed to work for money anyway. At the first place, we only perform to enjoy ourselves.

A few arguing with my driver to let me go alone and a few minutes riding the express train, I arrived at the destination. In front of the old movie house stood three silhouettes I have always known and loved. Tsubasa, Tono, and my older-sister figure, Misaki. It was kind of funny how each of their instruments revealed their personality. Misaki, despite of being a girl, was the drummer. She was also like the leader. Tono was our guitarist, matching his cool long hair and...uh...'pervetly' and 'playboy'-ly personality? And Tsubasa got the keyboards.

"Am I late?" I asked Misaki.

She looked at me sternly, and I thought she was angry. But then, she suddenly jumped on me and hugged me so tight. "Aww. Mikan, it felt like we haven't seen each other for a while!" Well, we really haven't seen each other for a while since it was summer vacation and all.

"No fair! Misaki, me too!" Tono snatched me away from Misaki, and began to cuddle me.

"You perverted bastard! Take your hands off her!" Tsubasa grabbed me away from Tono. These three were always like that. Bickering and yelling accusations and curses all over the place. Then, Tsubasa-nii would cover my ears when Tono-senpai would start talking about H stuffs. Noisy, bubbly, and noisy. But I was used to it, and they were actually fun. I was their youngest so they were really protective over me. And it felt really good, covering me warmth that I couldn't find anywhere else.

"Hey." A gentle voice of a man stopped the three's bickerings. We four were the front man of the band, and the main characters. But behind us, there was two other. It was Kaname-senpai, our manager. His body was too weak to handle the pressure of being a member of the front man. But he really loved music and us, so he decided that he would be the manager.

"Kaname-senpai!" I released myself from Tsubasa-nii's grasps and ran towards my other senpai. "How are you feeling today?" I asked him happily. I didn't know why, but being with them really just made me overjoy.

He showed me his usual gentle smile. "I'm fine, thank you. How are you, Mikan?"

"I... I made it!" Another guy came running and panting to death. He was another one of us, Yuu, and was also my classmate. He was our class representative and was a bit geeky. But even though people see him as a nerd, he was still our mixer. He was so good in applications of effects even Live. Each and every one of us had different things to do, but every one was just as important as the rest.

::::::::::

The Phoenix bar was crowded. The good thing about Kaname-senpai was that, he wouldn't choose a bar with creepy background. Like those with drug dealers, or people over-consuming alcohol, or girls in prostitution. He would always make us come in a jam-bar, where music played by a band was the main dish. We have been going to places like this, those who promote the unknown bands to public. It was like having a mini-concert.

My mind became blank for a moment. I thought I just saw Natsume sitting alone at the farthest corner. I wanted to make sure if what I saw was right so I excused myself from the others. If ever it was really him, what should I say? He might still be angry about the last time, and I have no excuse for that.

"Natsume?" I called out. Crimson orbs greeted me, and in an instant, I was in a trance. Natsume. I thought he hated crowded and noisy places? Why was he here? But then again, he was sitting there alone and at the corner, no matter. "It really is you! How come you're here?" I couldn't help but smile.

"You. What the hell are you doing in a place like this?" He snapped at me. Well, it wasn't the kind of response I wished to receive, but at least he wasn't ignoring me.

"Me? Oh. I'm currently working." He eyed me cautiously, and then I kind of understood what he was thinking. "No! No! Not here... well, technically here, but... I mean, I'm with a band!" I couldn't help my self but stammer. Why was I even explaining things to him? It shouldn't have bothered me whether he misunderstood or not. But it still bothered me.

"..."

The images of the last time I was with him flickered in my mind. "Hey. I'm...sorry. About the last time. How I laughed at you and...Ruka. He...he was wrong. He...suddenly... Anyway, I'm really sorry about that." My heart was beating fast. In front of Natsume, I didn't know how to act. This was the first time that I was conscious in front of people. Maybe because, when it's Natsume, one wouldn't really know how he would respond.

He didn't respond and that was his response. I mean, he had no comment whatsoever in my apologies. "Hey!" I suddenly remembered about the festival. I sat beside him and started to talk excitedly. "We're going to the festival. Me and the rest. Join us!" I felt supid feeling so excited. But imagining Natsume not alone kind of stir something inside me.

"No."

"Aw, come on!" I unconsciously tugged him on his shirt. "It's gonna be fun. I promise!"

"You're annoying."

"Pleaaaase? Okay. If you come, I'll do what you want for a...week! I'll do what you want for a week when the term starts again!" I instantly regretted what I said when I saw him smirked evilly. Just what kind of things were going inside his cunning mind, I didn't know.

"Deal." I gulped when he answered. He even snickered with his own thoughts, and it sent chills down my spine.

"Natsume... you're not thinking about... scary stuff, are you?"

He snickered again. "Who knows?"

That was when Tsubasa-nii called me out for our performance. "Natsume, it's a promise, okay? Here, give me your e-mail number and your home phone if necessary." I handed him my phone.

"Hn." I thought he was going to argue with me about that. But I guess, me being his slave for a week really made him interested. I wondered what he was going to make me do? He might ask me to not bother him for a week. Thinking about it, it wasn't impossible at all.

The music started to fill the air. The beat crept up my sleeves, and my head was blank again. In the middle of my song, I saw Natsume listening and it strangely filled me up with happiness. I thought he would go and not bother to listen once I stand up the stage, but he was still there. I almost chuckled with his weird way of showing kindness. Yes, I decided that I would call it kindness. He was gentle in his own weird ways. So weird that people misunderstood, but gentle nonetheless. I couldn't help but smile, and to thank him for making me feel happy, I gave him a wink.

::::::::::

"Wow, Sumire, it looks good on you!" We were at Sumire's house, which was the nearest from the meeting place that the class agreed on. Anna and Nonoko were gawking on how pretty Sumire's yukata was. For me, Hotaru was the prettiest. That was how proud I was to be her best friend.

We were idle for some time now. They were only gawking at each other's pretty outfit, the lip gloss, the clip, the sandals, the make-up. But the ring of my phone made them all stop but focus on me. I looked at the message, scratch that, the command Natsume gave me. "Front of fountain. xxxxxx park. You're not here in three minutes, deal's off." The three minutes made me jump off my feet. How did he come up with the idea that I could be there within three minutes?

"Shoot! I have to go now! Hotaru, let's just meet later, 'kay?" I hurriedly grabbed my purse but the three girls stopped me.

"Where are you going, Mikan?" Nonoko asked me suspiciously.

"Sorry! Sorry! I'll be there, I promise! I just have to go fetch Natsume. It won't take long! He's just at --"

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Stop there, girl." Sumire cut me off. She was kind of scary whenever she does that, plus her eyes were glowing with suspicions. "Did you just say Natsume-sama was coming? You're going to fetch him? You call him Natsume?"

The clock was ticking rapidly and I couldn't afford to lose anymore second if I still want to make it in time. "I'll explain later! But I really have to go now. Unless, you don't want him to go with us?" I used her admiration against her, and I knew that it was bad of me. But I really wanted to befriend Natsume. I wanted him to open up to us, his classmates.

"Then explain later! Go, go, go, go!" She practically pushed me out the door.

I ran like never before in my entire life just to get there on time. I was sweating and dizzy, my feet were aching, the air got thinner by the second. Fortunately, he was still there in front of the fountain. Seeing him standing there made me smile. I couldn't believe that he really waited there. Maybe the idea of me not pestering him for a whole week made him really enthusiastic. "I'm here!" I announced with a half laugh.

"Five seconds late."

"Ack! It was only five seconds!" I couldn't believe he wanted to hold account for that five seconds when he himself won't come to class on time. "Please... I really want you there." I begged him. Heck, I was even ready to kneel down and bow in front of him right then and there.

There was a short silence. His crimson eyes bore mine and I just couldn't avert my eyes away. "Add lunches in that one week." He finally said and then he started to walk towards the direction of the festival. His answer made me laugh in delight. I couldn't help it. Goodness, I thought. He really wasn't an honest guy.

::::::::::

"Hello!" I greeted the group once we made it there. And just as I planned, they were really surprised. The girls almost fainted seeing their idol Natsume there, and the boys were more than happy. Suddenly, I felt strong arms lifted me up and hugged me tight.

"Mikan! Good job!" Koko said while laughing. His reactions made me fill with more happiness. Once he put me down, he immediately went to Natsume. I guess they were really happy that the most snobbish person in class was there with us.

"You're a mess." Hotaru walked to me and fixed my hair. While she was busy fixing me, my eyes were observing Natsume. It felt so good seeing him not that snob anymore towards the boys, but he really avoided the girls. He didn't even try to hide it, much to the boys' laughter. I almost laugh seeing them enjoy their selves. And then, I realized that someone wasn't there.

"Where's Ruka?" I whispered. The thing is, only Hotaru knew how I felt towards Ruka. And I was just too excellent in hiding my feelings that nobody else noticed.

"He'll be here." She whispered back. It was then that Sumire, Anna and Nonoko approached me and helped me fix up myself.

"You look like a filthy rag." Sumire commented while she was wiping the sweat off me. It felt so good that she, the president of the newly renamed Natsume-Ruka fan club, wasn't angry at me.

"Why are you like that, Mikan?" Anna asked as she was tightening my clothes around me.

"No thanks to Natsume." I whined, the thing I couldn't do in front of the culprit himself. "He just made me run like there's no tomorrow." I answered them with a pout. Who wouldn't when my feet were aching so badly? I even thought my slippers were gonna snap countless of times.

"Well, you really made a good job making him go with us." Nonoko said with a chuckle.

I rolled my eyes and cried animatedly. "You have no idea what I had and have to do to get that brat here."

Just as everything was almost perfect, Ruka showed up. "Ruka!" I called him out, but then, I saw a figure beside him clinging on to his arms. The feeling of full happiness just went down and drained in blink of an eye. Just like how you have to empty a glass of water when it's already full.

I looked at the Sumire wanting to make sure that I saw just right. What I saw on her face made my heart race in an instant. She was shocked. I looked at Anna, and then to Nonoko. They looked concerned. I look back at Ruka who was smiling and proudly showing off his companion. And then I look at the girl, then back at him. "Mikan?" The girl's voice made me look at her again. "Oh my god! It is you! Wow! Even Sumire, Anna and Nonoko!" None of the three spoke. Then I looked at Hotaru, who, I guessed, already knew what was happening.

I looked at the girl again with a pain in my fast beating heart. She was the prettiest girl I have ever known. The air around her was screaming superiority. She was even giving off magical dusts on her porcelain doll-like skin and her golden hair. She was practically glowing, like how Tinkerbell glows especially in the dark. My heart almost fell realizing the truth in front of me. It was really her. Luna. The girl I saved yesterday from two forceful guys on the streets.

What she said the day before rang and echoed inside my mind. _"They're easy creatures, too stupid you can control them around your tiny fingers."_

It was her. Luna. the girl who thought that men are stupid. She was...as much as how I hated to admit it...Ruka's girlfriend.


	4. Chapter 4

The four of us girls were all quiet. None of us could speak. Hotaru probably understood why we were shocked since she knew the summary of what happened yesterday with Luna. What she said yesterday about men, on how stupid they are, kept repeating inside my head like a broken player.

"I'm not dreaming, right?" Nonoko was the one who recovered first. We were kind of behind the group since we couldn't really absorb properly the situation.

"You're not…" Anna sadly reassured her.

"I thought it was great to have some handsome boy be played around with. But seeing that one of my friend, idol nonetheless, is the one being toyed, I guess I'll drop that idea." Sumire said without looking at us. Actually, we couldn't really look at each other. Still scared to admit the truth.

"But…do you really think she was talking about Ruka back then?" Anna asked innocently, trying to lift the building accusations off Luna.

"Obviously." Hotaru declared. We knew that once she opens her mouth, we couldn't really disagree because all of the time, she talks sensibly.

"Wait… Let's not… judge her. Maybe we're misunderstanding at some point…" I was hurt to learn that Ruka already has someone he loves. Even more when he announced that they started going out. But now, it wasn't what was on my mind. My hurt was set aside and all I could think of was how Ruka would feel in the future. In a point, my love for him was still there. If only I could take him away from her, I would gladly do so. But doing so would hurt him. But then again, staying with her would also be painful for him once she was really just toying him around.

I saw Hotaru rolled her eyes. "Mikan, what does your intuition tells you?" The other three girls looked at me. The first time that we looked at each other in the eyes. I knew that they were waiting for me to answer because they knew that my guesses were usually right.

They first learnt about it when Anna was trying to tell me something but she couldn't. So I beat her up to it and I just said exactly what she wanted to say. At first, they were all surprised asking how did I know. Now, I was afraid to make any guesses fearing it might be correct. If it was, Ruka would be hurt and I didn't want that to happen.

I bit my lower lip, trying not to open my mouth.

I heard Sumire sigh. "Come on. The others would be worried about us if we stay like this. We set aside the idea and see first what happens." She advised and we all agreed to it. To me, there wasn't any other better plans than that.

"Anyway, how did you manage to make Hyuuga-kun to come?" Nonoko asked me while we were walking. In an instant, I temporarily forgot about Luna. My eyes then got teary thinking back on Natsume's snickers at Phoenix and imagining what might come in the future.

"Uuuu..." I sniffed. "I have to be his personal maid for a week!" I announced. They all stopped walking after the words left my mouth. Slowly, their heads turned on me like how a creepy doll would in ghost stories.

"Mikan..." Sumire hissed, her eyes glowing. They were really good at this!

Another negative energy caught my attention. It was colder and meaner than Sumire's. If the word 'killing aura' was fit, then a 'murderous intent' would be even more fit. It was Hotaru. She didn't say a word, but something was written on her face. 'Hyuuga... Hyuuga... Hyuuga... You'll taste your favorite flavor of hell.' Thinking what Hotaru might do made me shiver. But thinking what Natsume could do in return made me whimper.

"Kyaaaa!" Anna's voice killed the gloomy atmosphere. "I wonder what he'll make you do?"

"He might make you do some --" I cut Nonoko off, not wanting to hear her words.

"Please. Don't say it. I don't want think of the possibility..." I said with a tear in my eye.

"Sorry..."

The festival was fun if you exclude the worry inside my head. The games were so good I almost got addicted to the prizes, the food they exhibited were so out of the world. I just couldn't get enough of it no matter how many festivals I have been already. I just love festivals!

I was so busy trying the fishing game when I noticed that no one was behind me. No Hotaru. No Sumire. No Anna and Nonoko. Even Koko and the others were out of sight. And that was when I started to panic. I love festivals, I love people, but I've got trauma in abandonment ever since my dad died. When my companions disappear, I'm always reminded of my dad's wake. People were watching me with creepy eyes and mom was nowhere near me. They were saying such good things, yet their eyes were scrutinizing every inch of me.

The people whom I admired earlier became scarier by the minute. Everyone was going everywhere. Their murmurs and noise were getting up to my head. The memory I dreaded so much started to flash inside my mind. I suddenly felt like the air was so stiff that I couldn't breathe it in. My felt got light and dizzy, and I suddenly lost my balance.

"Oi?!" Strong pair of arms caught me before I fell flat on the ground. I knew that voice. That husky and low voice. So calm yet sounded powerful. I couldn't answer his call. All I did was lean on him, trying so hard to compose my self. And then I felt him drag me out of that place.

"Sorry…it just suddenly became…crowded." I apologized to Natsume once I have gotten a hold on myself. We were just on the outskirts of the main festival.

"…"

I didn't feel like talking at all unlike the other days when I was with him. Truth be told, even I couldn't understand why I got so talkative around him. I was so comfortable to be with him that his every little push could make me say what was inside me. But now, I just felt like I had no energy.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked me out of the blue. My mind couldn't process the words on how to answer him. I was so shocked to think about anything else. Natsume Hyuuga just asked me what was wrong with me. He talked first, without anyone urging him to do so.

"Huh?" Stupidly enough, it was all I could say.

"No use hiding it. You can't fool a genius." He said smugly. Seeing his usual proud self hit me on the head and woke me up.

"What?! What the?! Hyuuga, you are so full of yourself." I rolled my eyes but I couldn't suppress the smile on my face.

"Don't smile. I wasn't joking. I really am a genius." That was when I started to laugh uncontrollably.

"I can't believe you, Natsume! Was that supposed to be a joke?! Anyway, you are one big oaf, you know that?" He was just looking at me. Maybe he really was serious? I didn't know. But the way he said it really was kind of crazy that it sounded funny. "Anyway, why do you say I have problems?"

"I just know. You're stupid enough for me to read." I was gonna comment on that one, but then he added his favorite word. "Polka."

"Hey! I'm not wearing polka today!" I puffed and crossed my arms.

"Really? Then what?" He asked stoically. It was amazing how he could ask about embarrassing things without him making much expression. Actually, aside from his angry or irritated face, I haven't seen any reactions at all.

"It's – why should I tell you?!" I punched him playfully on his arms.

"Ah-ah. I thought you'd stupidly admit again." He looked the other way.

"I'm not that stupid, pervert." I stuck my tongue out on him. "Anyway, thanks for the concern. But I'm fine."

He snorted when I said that I was fine. "Yeah, right. Every damn time I see you, you were always crying. But no, I don't care."

It was then that I noticed, he was right. He was always there when I was crying when usually, I would cry where no one could see me. Even Hotaru didn't know half the time where I would go just so I could cry. When had it become a practice that I would hide myself away and cry alone? Realizing that Natsume was there all right, I smiled heartily. I just felt like a huge hollow inside my chest was just filled up with warmth. Another realization made me chuckle which caught his attention.

"Are you making fun of me, you ugly little girl?" He snatched my right cheek and pulled it hard, which was painful but I didn't care.

"Natshume! Yer' talking to miee!" I managed to say despite him pulling my face hard that I swear it was red and swollen. After I said that, he released me and tugged my hair.

"What? Did you think I'm mute?"

"No! No! It's just that, you normally won't talk to anyone. That's why I'm so happy right now!" I chuckled, feeling all the worries fly away. "Come on! Let's go play some more!"

Going around with him was really fun. He didn't do anything special, nor was his reactions changing. But just knowing that the Natsume Hyuuga was not ignoring me, accompanying me nonetheless, was already a big accomplishment for me. Even though he would make negative remarks on how bad I played, or how stupid my face looked, it was really fun. He had sour mouth alright, but at least he was talking.

We were lining up in front of the ice cream shop when we saw a young boy, about four years old, dropped his newly bought ice cream. He cried loudly, but people just ignored him. Seeing him cry like that made me remember how I coped up myself without a help from anybody when I was young. I was about to take a step when someone beside me beat me to it. At first, I thought I just saw it wrong, that it might be just my imagination. But looking the second and even third time, I confirmed that it really was him.

Natsume walked to the kid and carried him on his shoulders, like my dad used to carry me as a child. I saw the boy stopped crying, and then it seemed like they were talking. I thought Natsume might have said something awful. Coming from his mouth which always send curses, it wasn't near impossible. But then, I saw the boy laughed. That was when my ears perked up. My eyes were watching observantly, not leaving even any minor details aside. It was then that I saw, for the very first time, Natsume Hyuuga's smile...

It wasn't a smirk, nor a sly smile. He was smiling for real. He looked like a normal person would look like without any attitude problems. Erase that, he didn't look ordinary at all. He looked...even more handsome than his usual stoic face. Seeing him smile with carefree attitude...made my heart beat the very first 'thump' for Natsume Hyuuga...

::::::::::

We ran into the others after a while. They were even shocked to see me and Natsume together since they have been looking for me.

"Idiot! You didn't even turned on the ring tone of your cellphone!" Sumire hugged me. They knew of course, about my trauma. Maybe that was why they were all worried when the girls lost sight of me.

"One moment you were there, when we turned around you weren't there!" Anna sobbed. "Mikan, you act like a three year old child who's still so curious about every single thing!"

"I'm so sorry... I guess I was kind of carried away?"

"How did you end up with him anyway?" Hotaru eyed Natsume for the longest of time without either of them backing down.

"No, Hotaru. He just kind of... saw me when I was panicking." I laughed nervously seeing how much of a fighter the both of them were.

Hotaru looked at me, and then back to Natsume. "You lay your hands off her, Hyuuga. Or I swear I'll shove your porn collection on your little sister's face." Silence fell on us, the speculators. We really didn't know what was going on and we were all just as confused as each other.

"Dare do that and I'll shove your cosplay costumes in front of your big brother." It was Natsume's retort. They both stared at each other, trying to win. I even felt sparks from the air.

"Whatever. Just don't touch her." Hotaru grabbed my wrist.

Before I was by her side, another strong hand pulled me harder which made me land on his chest. Before I could get away, he trapped me around his warm arms. I flushed deep red feeling embarrassed. My ears got ticklish, I even got goosebumps on my nape that it felt so uncomfortable. The closeness was suffocating me in a weird way. My heart went crazy and even more wild when he said in front of my ears, "What I do to her is my business. We have a promise. Isn't that right, Polka?" I thought I heard the others gasps, and then he smirked evilly.

"No! No! Idiot Natsume! Don't say it like that! They'll misunderstand!" I punched him multiple times, trying to free myself but failed miserably.

"It's not a misunderstanding." He said bluntly.

"No! No! No!" I looked at Hotaru who was just reminded on what I told them earlier, and to my horror, I thought I saw her hair stood up, again; her eyes glow, again; and the background pitch black with thunders...again. "Nooo! Hotaruuu! Idiot Natsume! Stupid big pervert!" Anna and Nonoko were giggling non-stop while Sumire was sulking.

The first who recovered from what they were seeing was Koko. "Anyway, Imai, what's Natsume to you?" He asked, each words carefully chosen.

"He's my damned useless cousin." She answered briefly. Anna and Nonoko's giggles died down. Sumire's weeping stopped. Koko stood stiff again. The others who still weren't able to recover from the first shock was shocked the second time, they looked just like their world paused. Me, I forgot to resist Natsume's arms. Did she just say cousin? And then I realized their similarity. Of course! Stoic faces, cold personalities, geniuses, both from rich families.

"Hoooooh? What do we have here?" That was one of my favorite people in the world's voice, Tsubasa-senpai. It was unexpected to see him here, with Misaki. I sort of knew that there was something between them. They just won't admit it.

"Tsubasa-senpaaaai!" I wailed, but Natsume still won't release me.

"Mikan! Is that your boyfriend?" Misaki asked me to Tsubasa-nii's distraught. I thought life just left him inconsiderately.

"Nooo!" Tsubasa shouted. "What are you doing to my precious kouhai?!" He asked but made no attempt to grab me whatsoever.

"Misaki! Tsubasa-senpai! He's Natsume! He's my friend!" I announced with proud and my head held up high.

When I said that Natsume was a friend, none of them made a noise nor move even an inch. They had this cat like eye showing unbelieving reactions. "Natsume! Look at what you did! The girls will gonna hate me now! You jerk! I won't give you strawberry milk and I'll ruin your lunch!"

It was then that he put me on the ground. Who could have known that the angsty Natsume Hyuuga could be threatened with food? That was where I was wrong. His eyes suddenly gleamed and he grabbed both sides of my cheeks and pull it as hard as he could. "You dare threaten me, ugly little girl? You dare?" He asked.

"I'm showreeee!" It was obviously a question I couldn't answer. After that, just like a hint, Ruka and Luna appeared in the scene.

"What's going on?" Ruka asked. I just realized that they weren't really on good terms and that they have not yet talked about the incident last time. "What are you doing to her?! Don't touch her!" Ruka violently grabbed me away from Natsume. We were all quiet, obviously, none of us could react yet. His grasps on my wrist was so strong that it hurt me an awful lot. I winced from pain that I couldn't stop it from showing on my face.

I looked around, but no one could move a finger. Even the noisy senpais were shut quiet. I noticed their look on us, then I carefully looked up to the two fighting guys who were staring each other down. I glanced a help-me-look on the girls, but they were looking to another person. I followed their look, and my eyes landed on Luna. What I saw made me shiver all throughout my body. Her look on me was as cold as ice. Oh, yes. I almost forgot that she was also here with Ruka. I got carried away from having fun with the others that I almost got rid of my worries.

"You're hurting her." My heart raced even more when I heard Natsume's husky low voice said those words. Was he talking about my wrist? Or did he know about my feelings for Ruka? I didn't know which was it. But him saying those made me want to cry. It felt like someone has finally noticed that I was hurting. It felt like finally, someone was looking at me. My chest was suddenly filled again with so much warmth. It was so amazing how a few words could fill me up.

"Ruka, let go." I asked him politely.

"Mikan! You still want to hang around him even though he hurts you?!" He yanked me closer to him. I didn't know why, but seeing him so concerned about me didn't make me feel excited like I used to feel. Truthfully, I was so afraid of him that time.

"Ruka. Let me go." When I said that, the guys seemed to have woken from their stunned time.

"Let her go, Nogi." Hotaru threatened him, but it seemed like Ruka couldn't hear anything.

He was still looking at Natsume, and so was Natsume to him. They were glaring daggers to one another. If looks could kill, maybe they would be both dead by now. "You seem overly familiar with her when you're just an outsider." Ruka hissed. It took me a while before I processed what he just said.

"You're right." And then Natsume walked away. Seeing him walk away like that made me feel helpless. I didn't want him to go. As selfish as I might sound, Natsume could fill something inside me that no one else could. I felt like crying as I see him vanish from the crowd.

The class was murmuring now. Trust Ruka to ruin our class's wonderful night. "Mikan."

"Ruka --" I tried to explain but he cut me off immediately.

"Mikan, I'm so sorry. Are you alright? Are you okay? He was hurting you again." I could feel the class's stares on us but I didn't feel proud at all. "If only I was with you, this wouldn't have --"

"Ruka!" I yelled just to make him stop. He fell silent, and he looked like he just woke up from a dream. I yanked his hands away from me, and I felt so irritated. "How dare you say that to Natsume! He's a friend! He's my friend, Ruka! And you just told him off!" It was the very first time that I had raised my voice against Ruka. But he was wrong. He was so wrong.

He looked at me with puzzled eyes, as if he didn't know that what he did was not right.

"Ruka, do you want me telling Luna off on you?" I felt so tired all of a sudden. Ruka couldn't answer to what I said and I grabbed the opportunity to face the class. "Can you guys please help me find Natsume?" I asked them with a weak smile.

"Of course!" Anna immediately answered much to my relief.

"We won't let him get away now, would we?" Koko made a second emotion with his plastered smile. The rest couldn't speak, but based on their expressions, we all agreed on the same thing.

I walked around frantically, searching for him. Natsume, he could really hide well. Or he could have gone home already. What was Ruka's problem anyway? As much as I could have an insight about other people's cases, I couldn't do it when it involves myself. And Natsume, he didn't even bother to defend his self. I got tired from walking non-stop and turning around like some lunatic. My feet just dragged me into the deep forest. I laughed sarcastically. What was I doing there anyway?

I was about to walk away when I saw a lake at the middle of that forest. I didn't know there was a lake here. The ambiance around it was so eerie yet magical. The moonlight that was reflected on the water gave off a peaceful feeling. It even made me relax and even my breathing. Unconsciously, I dropped myself on the ground and sat quietly. I was supposed to find Natsume, but something here made me stay.

The coldness of the air caressed my face. And I sighed.

"Oh, man. What's going on?" I whined looking up the starry sky.

"Why're you here, ugly girl?" Natsume's sudden appearance made me jump off my sitting position. My heart felt like it fell off the floor and I had to pick it up again. While I was busy picking up myself, he was as calm as ever like nothing happened at all.

"Hey. You scared me to death! Please don't just suddenly pop out of nowhere." I rolled my eyes on him and then I sat down the ground again.

"I was here all along. You're the one who suddenly came here." He said with a twitch on his eyebrows. I tugged his wrist and made him sat beside me. To my surprise, he obliged.

"Hey. He... he did it again. I'm sorry." My eyes were fixed on the ground. I was afraid to look him in the eyes, scared that I might see the coldness once again.

"Hn." That was all he said. He might not have been concerned about what Ruka said and all, but I was.

"It's just, I don't know what his problems are. He even called you an outsider! Tsk!" I suddenly wanted to burst out what I was thinking.

"I am."

"No, you're not! You're my friend, Natsume. Even if you bully me a little... okay, a lot! But I still like you." I blurted it out all at once. His silence made me realized what I just said, and his blank look on his face made me feel so embarrassed. "I...uh...I..." My heart was beating loud like drums. They were so loud I swear I could hear it. My ears got warm and so did my face. Even my stomach felt funny all of a sudden.

My flustering have all vanished when I suddenly saw the arrival of fireflies. I even forgot that Natsume was sitting beside me and watching my idiotic excitement. But, who cares? I liked the fireflies. Seeing them around that lake made it even more beautiful.

I looked inside my purse to find my cellphone. Once I had it in hand, I snapped a shot on the lake. "Natsume, come here!" I tried to pull him up. "Let's take pictures together."

"No."

"Come on... please?"

"No."

"Pleaaaase? I would even gladly cook the lunch I would give you!" When I said that, he looked like he didn't want to stand up even more. "Hey! For your information, I am learning to cook from Anna!"

His look of doubt made me even more embarrassed. "I would gladly allow you to refrain yourself from further strains."

"And what are you implying?" I put my hands on my hips like an angry mother, lecturing her child.

"Nothing much." He looked away.

"Yoooouu!" I sat down the ground again, totally forgotten about our picture together. "I can cook eggs you know! And then I can make rice balls! Even sushi and maki! And - and..."

"Polka, that's barely called cooking."

"Stupid! It is so! Even Anna said it! She was the one who taught me!"

"Because it is the easiest for you to understand so far, stupid." His stoic face was as hard as a rock. Not even bulging.

"Idiot! But I can make strawberry cake with syrup!" I boasted. I knew how much he loved strawberries. And then... and then... I saw him chuckle softly. I couldn't take my eyes off him as he laugh. I didn't even understand what he was saying. All I knew that time was, my heart just skipped a beat. The air was so thin that it hurts me to breathe. My eyes were teary. My ears and face were hot. I suddenly grabbed a hold of my cellphone and snapped a photo. I did it without even thinking. Like my hands just got their own brain and moved by itself.

He suddenly stopped laughing when he saw what I just did. "Natsume." I suddenly blurted out. "You're even more handsome when you smile." I said excitedly. I didn't know if I was smiling or not. But I knew that my eyes were so fixed on him that what I felt that moment was reflected on them.

He looked away and murmured, "Stupid."

That time, when I was pestering him all the time, I completely forgot about the incident that happened earlier. All the pain that I was shouldering alone felt like they weren't there at the first place. It was also the first time that I noticed something inside me was changing slowly. I couldn't point my finger on it. But I felt it...


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello guys. This is Keith. Sorry it took a while for me to update. It's just that, i feel so absorbed when a book opens before me. n_n)**

**I want to thank kyz and crimson eyed girl. You guys really made me want to write more. Thanks.!**

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My heart was thumping loudly, my palms were sweating. "Here." With my hands trembling, I offered him the lunch that I put all of my efforts with. I was supposed to be proud of what I did. Every ingredients were carefully measured, the shape and colors were made with special care... well, at least I thought so. I even asked for Anna to watch over me as I cook. But knowing that Natsume was the one to eat it, made me feel like I was betting on with my life.

His mood had been wavering all morning. While in class, he ordered me to get him a soda. I didn't want to go since we were having lessons, but even the sub-teacher couldn't do anything against Natsume. I complained, saying I wouldn't be able to understand anything. In the end, he won over the argument with his 'That's an order' and made me go out of the class. I walked so silently along the hallway, fearing the other teachers to see me. Especially Jinno sensei.

My heart was still pounding heavily on my chest when I got back to the room. I was so proud that I made his orders without me being caught in the hallways. And then, to my horror, after fifteen minutes, he sent me out again to fetch him some bread. When I came back, he said that it wasn't the bread that he wanted so he sent me away again. It went on like that until the very last minute of the period. In the end, he just shrugged off and said, 'I don't like it anymore.'

He eyed me with caution. He must be thinking that I made clumsy mistakes on the lunch that I made. How dare he? Well, even I couldn't disagree and say that my obento was perfect. But, he could have at least given me points for full effort. He didn't bother to reach out his hands. He just stared me down. We were under the usual sakura tree to my relief. There, no one could see the possible bullying that I might receive from Natsume.

I laid down the lunch before him and waited; waited like waiting for the judgement to be cast upon me. My head was full of thoughts on how he would torture me if my work turned out rejected. I've only been with him for a short time, I only met him when he transferred school, but somehow, it felt like I knew him. I knew that he could do anything. Thinking things like that made me shiver.

His eyes twitched as he reached out for the rice balls that I made. His eyebrows arched. "Is this onigiri?" He asked with a tone of disbelief in his voice. I almost wanted to cry, to fly away, to dig on the ground right there and bury myself. "Why is it round?" He asked again. I bit my lower lip, trying so hard not to talk back at him.

"Because…" I paused, thinking what words should I pick from my dictionary. How could I explain it to him so he would understand? No, I know he would understand. But he won't be kind enough to overlook my reasoning. I took a deep breath. "Becauseit'scalledriceballs." I said under one breath as silent as I could.

He looked at me blankly. I really wish he wasn't a stoic face, it was hard enough for me to guess what he was thinking or what mood he was in. He didn't move, he didn't say anything. He just stared at me blankly. I sighed in defeat. "Because…it's called…rice balls…" I repeated in a whining tone. Why did he has to notice every single detail?

This time, his eyes twitched. Damn Hyuuga. He asked me things, but when he didn't like my reasons, he would get angry. Slowly and full of hesitation, he put the piece of food I made in his mouth and made a crunch sound when he bit it.

"So?" I asked. He stopped moving in an instant, his expressionless eyes fixed on me. I immediately regretted asking how it was when he opened his mouth and answered, "This is definitely not onigiri."

"Ack!" I jumped off the ground and stood up. "Why do you care about every details? So what if it's circle? So what if it's crunchy? So what if it's tasteless! It's still food, idiot! And when you eat it, you chew it and grind it until it's not recognizable anymore! Your tummy would even digest it and mix it all together! In the end, you will also excrete it!" I yelled at him under one breathe. I was panting heavily, waiting for his answers…but I wish I didn't.

"So you knew it shouldn't be circle." He said with his expressionless face. I flinched when he said that. I didn't even move nor create a come back. "You knew that it shouldn't make a crunch sound when eaten," he added after a long pause. Silence covered us for a while until he broke it with his last remark. "I'm shocked…" I immediately looked up to him when he said that. Did I just hear it right? Was he kind of expecting me to have made good obento with all the flashy – "…that you're aware it's tasteless." – okay, maybe not…

"Natsume you big idiot!" I whined. How could he be so direct saying awful things? "I know that it shouldn't be circle! But when I made it, it all turned out like that! I don't even know what I did that it became crunchy! I carefully put seasonings on it so you wouldn't say it's over with salt! But somehow, it turned out tasteless!" I felt like I was confessing my sins to a preacher while he just looked at me. "I even made Anna come to my house at five in the morning so she could watch over me…" I muttered under my breathe as I sat down the grassy field. All of the thought of Natsume's sharp tongue were all flushed down the drain. The only thing left in my head was: zero talent.

The gods must have hated me for not giving me any girly traits. I couldn't do house works without breaking anything somewhere. Even though I knew in my head what exactly I have to do when cooking, food always turn out different that what I imagined. Thoughts come up one after the other. I felt so gloomy I thought I have affected the air around me.

"Slave days plus one." His words pulled me out of my sea of dreadful thoughts.

"Ha?" I looked at him blankly, still processing his words. Okay, done. "WHAT?!" I stood up in heat. "But we agreed to it for only seven days!"

He stood up and smirked. "That's an order." And he left me with fury.

"That idiot! Awful mouth! He didn't even acknowledged my efforts! How early did he think I woke up just to…" My thoughts and my voice died down when I looked at the lunch box…at the empty lunch box. It was empty! He ate it all even with all his complaining. When did he ate it? It must be that time that I was busy thinking the why's and how's. Seeing the empty lunch box…made me all warm and funny inside. I just couldn't help but smile.

::::::::::

"Mikan, Imai. See you tomorrow." Ruka bid us farewells after the classes ended. He was going to walk Luna home. Luna, by the way, was transferred to our class. She immediately gained friends and admirers even from the other classes and senpais. She even monopolized Ruka's time. They were eating lunches together, he would walk her from her house to school in the morning. In the afternoon, he would walk her home or send her to wherever she's going just to make sure she would be safe.

Sumire and the two girls, even me and Hotaru were all too shocked to move when we overheard the couples talking. It was the time when Narumi wasn't around and Natsume was too busy sleeping to order me around. I used that opportunity so we girls could have some time.

I heard Luna giggled. She was sitting at the edge of Ruka's table and was looking at one of the famous magazines. We tried so hard to ignore the two of them, but we instantly fell silent when we heard her said, "Ruka, I like this bag. Would you give it to me as a present?"

To our horror, Ruka instantly agreed.

It wasn't supposed to be our worry, but it was just too worrisome. Ruka just nod and say yes to whatever she whims on. When he did that, Luna's words the first time we met echoes in my mind.

"Mikan, you're thinking too much of it." Hotaru stopped my train of thoughts. We were walking home together. When she has no work to do, or when she wasn't rushing anything, she would always find time to walk home with me. I never liked having to drive to and from school because they tend to catch attention too much. When people see those kind of things, the first thing that would come in their minds would be 'rich and spoiled'. It's not like I meant that they were judging people, but first impressions last.

"Buuuuuuut…" I tried to put my thoughts into words, but no words came out of my mouth. I couldn't even explain what I was feeling. I was concerned. So concerned since we knew of what Luna really thought about guys. Ruka was a rich boy so money wasn't the issue. It was just that…I felt like it was wrong. I sighed. "It's just…weird and…wrong."

Hotaru stopped her tracks and looked at me. This time, her eyes showed surprise. I tried to explain again to her how Luna said that men were easy creatures that girls could play with them in their tiny fingers, or something. But Hotaru shook her head. "That's not it. Mikan, you're not…hurt –" Her words were cut by my cellphone ringing before she could finish it and even before I could understand it.

"What?!" I was too shocked to see Natsume's number on the caller's ID. I stomped my foot before I answered his call. "Yes?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"Come to my house at seven. It's in 21st street. Royal Garden building, room 802. Don't be late." And the line was cut.

"What?! Stupid Natsume! Don't I get a time-out?! He wants me to go to his apartment! Grr. That pervert! Hoootaruuuu…." I looked at her with pleading eyes. Her look at me was so chilly, but her background were thunder and lightning. She grabbed her phone and dialled numbers.

"Meeting cancelled." And then she looked at me. "What time?"

I gulped. "Se…seven…" My answer was almost a whisper.

The two cousins were staring each other down when we got to Natsume's place. The scene I never wanted to see, again, in my whole life. They just practically wanted to eat each other alive. I could even imagine that any time soon, they'll summon tornado and lightning. While they were battling with stares, my eyes wandered off around the place.

It was a place that reflects Natsume Hyuuga very much. A very huge but eerie quiet condo unit. His furnitures were all simple. Books scattered everywhere, okay, they weren't really books; they were all mangas. His bed was unkempt, the curtains were closed. His shirts were lying here and there. The kitchen sink were full of spoons and forks and cups and mugs. The trash bin under it was already overflowing with garbage. In an instant, I already knew why he called me over…

"Imai." Natsume's voice startled me and pulled me in their world again.

"Hyuuga." Hotaru greeted back. A greet that sounded more like a threat. "What's your perverted little mind wants to do with this idiot here with no brain at all?" Ouch. She really still has sharp tongue. But whatever, she came all the way here just to make sure I'm safe and all.

Natsume looked at her nonchalantly despite of Hotaru's continuous attempt to kill him with stare. "She's cleaning. You gonna help?" I knew it! He really did call me just to clean his place. Stupid intuition. I sure hope I didn't guess why he summoned me here. Turned out to be right again…

My dear best friend looked at me with discerning eyes and then she looked back to Natsume. "Remember Hyuuga, I will shove your porn collection to your sister's face." With that, she stormed off the room.

"Hotaru! Hotaru!!" I called her out but she didn't look back. I could have followed her out, but my feet did not dare to move an inch. Stupid legs. Following Hyuuga more than me. I slowly looked at the guy in question, but he only gave me a smirk.

"Go ahead. You know what to do." And then he grabbed a manga on the floor and climbed up to his bed and read.

"Natsumeeeeee…we didn't agree to this!!" I whined. I whined alright…while on the way to find the sweep. Gosh, I wondered why I do what he tells me to do. I should really ask for a salary! He didn't respond to my complaints.

I looked around, wondering where to start off. My attention fell on the CD collection he had and chose a rock music to play while cleaning. I glanced to him when I turned the volume up and saw him glaring at me. Hah! That stupid Natsume. He should have known by now that I wasn't the type to be afraid of his meaningless glares. I stuck out my tongue on him to agitate him more. When I did that, it felt so good that I couldn't help but smile. It felt like I just unloaded some of my bearings.

I started with the kitchen. It didn't take a while before I finished it since the only problem were the mountains of cup noodles and empty bottle of water, and disposable spoon and fork and chopsticks, and alo dusts. After that, I did the laundry while doing the bedroom. I annoyed him most of the time, chasing him around the bedroom with my 'cleaning' as an excuse. Whenever he got angry, I would tell him, 'but I couldn't clean it when you're there!' or something along the line.

It took me two hours to finish all of the cleaning and the laundry. And then I thought, it would make me a good housewife if I try with all my might.

"Now, go buy me food to eat at the convenient store." And he gave me his golden credit card.

I was cursing him inside my head on the way to the store. That punk. He was so rich he could buy everything, but he told me to buy food from the convenient store. He could have hired a maid but he asked for me instead. He must really enjoy seeing me so frustrated and troubled and…tortured!

At the store, I couldn't help but stare at a certain brand of cup noodles. I was so sure that I have seen that brand before. I was about to grab it when the things I saw at Natsume's house came to hit me like a train. My heart was pounding as I roam around the convenient store looking around. And then I thought, my hunch was right.

Natsume. He was always eating instant noodles. His trash bin at the kitchen has mountains of the empty cups of it and they were all the same brand. The utensils that he always used were all disposable. The wrappers all has bar codes. There were no pots to cook. No rice cooker. No microwave... He didn't even had porcelain plates even just for display. All the things he was using were all disposable and they were all bought from this very convenient store. The foods he had been eating were all bought from here; the noodles, the wrapped obento, the wrapped onigiri. He never cooked for his self.

And then I realized the most obvious thing of all…he was living alone. Now I knew what I was looking for when I first stepped a foot inside his house. I was waiting to greet his parents. But there was no one there but him. Not even his sister whom Hotaru mentioned. There weren't even pictures displayed. His house was so…empty.

I was wondering as I pick up the foods to buy, does he also feel empty? Because that was what Natsume's eyes had been giving off. Emptiness. Coldness. The only thing that was warm in his eyes were its very color.

I decided to smile at him. And I did so when I came back. No matter how much he bullied me that night, I just smiled at him. He might have felt even more irritated when I did that. But I just thought that maybe…just maybe…he would feel warmth from me.

::::::::::

I thought that my peaceful life would last a little longer, but I was so wrong. And I realized it the very next day.

I kind of overslept from the tiredness because of my cleaning Natsume's house. I didn't even had time to eat breakfast nor make Natsume's lunch for the day. I just grabbed the strawberries from the fridge and ran to the garage. My driver was more than thrilled to have me ask him to drive me off to school. I didn't like to attract so much attention, but I had no choice if I didn't want to be late for the first period. When we got at the gate, everyone was looking. I didn't have the time to be worrying on their issues so I ran with all my might and ignored them.

"Good morning!" I greeted everyone with so much enthusiasm even with my heavy breathing. I was more than shocked when Ruka looked at me with cold eyes. He looked at me, and then turned away to face his dear Luna. Some of my classmates started whisperings. I sat to my desk wondering what on earth was happening.

Sumire, Anna and Nonoko then came to me, all worrying. "Mikan, are you okay?" Anna asked me so fast while Nonoko immediately grabbed my hands. I looked at them blankly, not sure what they were talking about.

"Don't mind them. There're just silly rumors circulating around." Sumire said with obvious irritation in her voice.

"Rumors?" Why would there be rumors about me? I snorted at their news. "Am I that popular to have some rumors around me?"

"Apparently," Hotaru started to join the conversation. "someone saw you walk out from my idiot cousin's apartment last night."

The three girls fell silent, along with the others. I knew they were waiting for my reaction, but I just stared at them blankly. Natsume was still quietly reading his manga with his feet on his desk. "Well, we four knows about your deal with Natsume." Anna broke the silence.

"And Imai also told us why you were called over." Sumire added.

"But, of course, the others don't know about your one week agreement." Nonoko said bashfully.

It was silent again. Truthfully, I was waiting for them to fill me up with the things I wasn't aware of. But they just kept just as quiet. "And?" I urged them to continue talking. "What happened next?"

Anna and Nonoko looked at each other, like they couldn't explain in words the things that were on their mind. "Well, now you see, there are rumors."

"Oh. Okay." I answered and then I hooked my bag at the table side.

"WHAT?!" The chair fell down, the girls shrieked lightly. It was Ruka. He suddenly stood up fille with rage. "You're not even gonna deny it?!" He asked me furiously. My heart beat fast when I looked at him. But it was a different beat. It was the beat of me being afraid of him. Somehow, his gaze felt like it scraped me.

"Why?" I managed to ask him. What he did next made me regret that I opened my mouth. He walked to me and grabbed my hand. His hold of my arms were so tight that it felt like he was going to rip them off. The three girls almost jumped off their feet in Ruka's violence. "Ow…"

"What are you doing, Mikan?!" He yelled at my face. "Explain to us why you were there! Explain to the whole school if you must! Just get rid of those filthy thoughts that they have of you! Deny it!" His every words were so heavy. And in his every words, his grip on me became tighter.

"But I went there to clean up for him…" I managed to explain briefly. But that time, my arm was getting numb.

"Shut up! That's not a reason for you to be coming to his house! Why would you even do what he tells you to in the first place?! Are you that stupid?! If he tells you to jump off the bridge, you'll jump?!" It was true that I do what Natsume asks me to. But I was not that stupid to jump off a bridge or kill my self if he orders me to!

"I didn't do anything wrong!" I yelled back at him.

"YOU DID! YOU JUST DID! You did so when you started hanging around him! You did even more when you obliged to what he told you to do! You did so much when you went to his place!" His words were all so against Natsume. It exposed all of his disliking, and I didn't want that. He was so unfair.

"RUKA! I went to Koko's house once! I went to Yuu's house once! I went to Tsubasa-senpai, to Tono-senpai, to Misaki-senpai! I went to Sumire, to Anna and Nonoko, to Hotaru's house more than once! I went to your house even more since I was a kid! And I just went to his house last night with Hotaru! YOU'RE JUST BEING A JERK WHEN IT COMES TO NATSUME!" I yelled at him with all my might. My chest was clogging. I felt so hot inside me. "You not liking him is your problem. You're being a prejudice! You not liking him doesn't mean I have to hate him! It's got nothing to do with me. I like him and he's my friend no matter what you say! It's my decision who I want to be friends with so, JUST GET OVER IT!" With that, I pulled my arm off his grasps.

He was quiet. He just looked at me with confused expression. Then, he went to his seat to grab his bag and started to walk away.

"Ruka!" Luna called him back, but he didn't stop. "Wait! Ruka!" She continued to call him but failed to no avail. And then, she ran off to him.

Everyone was silent. My eyes were fixed on the floor. When my knees gave off me, it was then that they started to shriek out. In an instant, my classmates were all over me. "Mikan!" It was Yuu's voice.

"Wait! Give her space to breathe!" Sumire instructed them. There were even more questions and comments but I couldn't understand it all at once. My head was still spinning and my arm was numb.

"Ack!" I heard someone shrieked out. It was a girl, one of my classmates. But I didn't notice who it was. "Her arm! Her arm!" I wanted to look at my arm, but I felt so tired. I just sat there on the floor without moving.

"Shit! It has scratches."

"It's even red."

"Look. His palm was marked here."

And then I understood. So, Ruka just left a hand print on my arm. The next thing I knew, someone has already carried me towards the infirmary.

"Oi. Stupid girl." He called out when I was lying on the bed. It was then that I realized that it was Natsume who brought me here at the health room.

"Natsume?" My eyes searched for his, and when his crimson eyes bore mine, I felt comfortable again.

"…"

I didn't know what to say to him. Me and Ruka just got in a fight again. This time, it was also because of him. I wondered, why is it that every time Ruka loses control of himself, it would always be about Natsume. What was his problem with him? I always knew that he didn't like Natsume that much, but this time, it felt more like he detests him. Did Natsume do anything wrong? But I doubted it. Natsume was not the type of person to talk so casually just to anyone. There was no way that they would know each other, nor would they talk to one another.

"I'm sorry…" My mouth finally opened. I didn't think of it. It just kind of slipped through my mouth. "I don't like it when we fight because of you. It's just stupid. No matter how he hates you, which is stupid all alone, I like you. And it won't change. You're my friend. Fighting over who I should be friends with is so immature."

"Uhh…" His reaction woke me up. I just blabbed on again without thinking so much. And I just said that I like him… I felt my face flushed in embarrassment, my ears were hot and so were my cheeks. I just told him something embarrassing.

"I…I…uh…umm…what I said…it's true. Uhh…" I didn't know what kind of explanation to say. At that moment, all of my thoughts were into the 'I like you' part. Would he think that I was being weird? And why the hell did I tell him I like him? My confusion about that matter was gone when he flicked my forehead and I looked at him.

"Stupid." He said.

My heart beat rapidly. It was as if it would be out of the cage any time soon that I wished I didn't look up at him. I wished he had not caught my attention. Because the feeling of my heart ready to explode was not easy to tolerate. But at the same time, I was thankful for that flick on my forehead. Because he caught my attention, I saw it again. I saw Natsume Hyuuga's smile once again. The smile that was so rare…so precious.

The cough from behind Natsume caught my attention. It was Hotaru…and the others. I just realized that my friends were all standing behind Natsume. My eyes widened seeing them all snickering and whispering. "How…how long have you been there?" I asked them stupidly.

I saw Sumire rolled her eyes. "We were here all along, idiot."

"Eh?"

Anna and Nonoko were giggling wildly. "You didn't see us, did you?"

"It was because you were too absorbed with your own world." Koko teased me even more. Their teasing died down when Yuu came to us running.

"Open time." He said. It was the time when a teacher was absent or simply tired to do any lecturing. "They were all talking about Ruka." The mention of Ruka's name made me wake up to face reality. "They were saying that he also lost control of himself during the festival. They were all shocked that he hurt you like that." He announced to us.

"Well, I don't see any reason behind his hatred." Koko commented.

Hearing them talk about Ruka in a weird way made me feel bad. I didn't want them to hate him. I didn't want them to think bad of him. But even I couldn't deny that Ruka was out of the line.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hello?" My voice was coarse. The ring of the phone beside my bed woke me up. It was eleven in the evening and yet, someone dared to call my home. The voice from behind the line made me sat up straight.

"Hoi. Stupid girl." I knew instantly who that guy was. How the heck did Natsume know my home phone?

"Stupid pervert. Do you know what time it is?" I groaned as I laid back to comfort on my bed. To my irritation, he did not respond. "Oi, Natsume Hyuuga. Did you call me just so you could annoy me?"

"Hn." Was what he said. I rolled my eyes even though they were closed and buried my face deeper under my pillow. "Well, you're succeeding." We were silent for a while. All I could hear over his line was the sound of an anime playing. "What? You're watching anime?" I chuckled. My irritation was gone.

"So?" He asked me with a very snobbish tone. An idea came up to my mind and I felt like teasing him. "Nothing much. So, you like manga. You like strawberries. You watch anime. So childish."

"Not as childish as you. Polka." I heard him snickered. My blood suddenly rushed through my veins which made me feel more alive and awake.

"Shut up, pervert."

"…" He didn't make a come back when I said that. But I was more surprised when he began to talk seriously. "You okay?" He asked. I knew then that he was talking about me and Ruka. We just had a fight earlier that day, and we haven't had a talk since. His house was just beside me, but I couldn't come over and talk to him. I wanted to swallow my pride many times and tell him how sorry I was for our fight, but it would be too unfair for Natsume, so I decided to stay home and just sleep.

"What? Are you actually worried?" I asked him teasingly.

"Stupid." And then the line died. I chuckled on how childish he was. He was so stubborn to admit that he was worried. But knowing that he was worried about me, made my irritation die down.

Even I was worried. These past few weeks, we have been arguing on and off and it would always be because of Natsume. He would get mad at something when Natsume didn't even do a thing. Sometimes, I even wondered if Ruka was just making excuses.

The phone rang again. This time, I immediately answered it and talked. "Natsume, you're so childish. I was just teasing you." I couldn't help but chuckle. "I just can't believe you." And then, the line died. I was so annoyed when he hung up the phone. Didn't he know that it was rude to do that?

The next ring of the phone, I shouted at him. "Natsume, you idiot! You big stupid pervert! Don't you know that it's rude what you just did?! I was just teasing you, stupid –"

"Woah! Woah! Woah!" That voice made me stop from my tantrums. It was my mom on the line, not Natsume. "Who's Natsume? Yooooou…" Mom said teasingly. It was such a bad timing for mom to call just after talking to Natsume.

"Well…he's a friend." I briefly answered.

Mom pestered me that night so much that I got a hard time waking up early the next morning. My mind was still thinking on what to say or do when I see Ruka. The incident yesterday was still fresh in my memory. Even the throbbing pain of my arm was still there. I wasn't prepared to face him, so I was more than shocked to see him waiting at my front gate.

"Ruka?" He looked at me bashfully.

"I…tried to call you last night." He started. "Before you say anything, can you listen to me first? Please?" I nodded, my heart racing not knowing what was going to happen next. "Well…I tried to call you but the line was busy. When you picked up, you thought I was Natsume. I was so upset that I hung up the phone…because, I realized that the reason your line was busy was from talking with Natsume."

I remembered that call. I thought it was Natsume pestering me again that I didn't bother to ask who it was. Turned out to be Ruka. "Well…I know that I kind of acted like a jerk, and… I'm sorry!" He bowed his head much to my surprise. "I…I kind of got…jealous."

When he said that, my lungs became tight. "Well…I wasn't used of someone else standing beside you. I thought that I would always be next to you, but when Luna and Natsume came, everything changed. And, you're right. Natsume is your friend…what I'm trying to say is…I'm really sorry for the way I have been acting towards him."

I couldn't get my voice to work. I just stared at him, not believing what just happened. Just earlier, I was wondering what face to make when I see him. Now, he was bowing his head and asking for forgiveness. Moments later, the air around me started to move again. I smiled at him. "Come on. We're going to be late, idiot." And I grabbed his arm and walked hand on hand towards the school. That was what I like about him; his gentleness and kindness.

He smiled when I grabbed him. Without any words, we knew that we were back to normal again. "Luna?" I asked him remembering that he would always fetch the girl from her house every morning.

"Ah. I told her that I've got something more important to do." He scratched his cheek in embarrassment.

"Whaaaat? You shouldn't neglect her. She was calling you yesterday at class, but you didn't even look at her. If you keep doing that, she won't understand you. As for me, don't worry about me. We've been together for more than ten years. I would always try to understand you." I said with so much ease than I could have ever imagined. And he just laughed off what I just said.

"Imai shot me with her gun last night."

"What? She came over your house?"

"Yeah. And then she said…"

::::::::::

Everyone in class was surprised when we came to school together laughing.

"You're good friends again?" Koko ran over to us. Yuu followed him, and then the rest of them were all over us asking different kinds of questions. We couldn't help but laugh while we explain how we were back to being best friends.

My eyes caught Natsume and it made me remember how he hung up on embarrassment last night. "Good morning!" I greeted. He looked up from his manga, nod, and then read again. "Natsumeee. You were so shy." I started to tease. He looked at me once again, or more like glared. But I only flashed him a big smile.

"Whatever."

I started to laugh, obviously still hung over the scene last night. "Why don't you just admit it? You were wor—" I didn't have the chance to tease him more when he pinched my nose so hard.

"You were saying?" He asked darkly.

I gulped in his seriousness. "Nothing." I wondered, why was it such a big deal for him to be worried?

The morning period passed by quickly. It was fifteen minutes before lunch and I was more than agitated. The lunch box I made was just like the other day. Well, I really didn't know what to do anymore. I already made all the food I 'mastered' and feed to him. What would he say when he sees the same set? Haha. He must feel tortured, eating the same food for a week. But then again, I would be the one tortured physically when I don't do a good job. Or when it comes to Natsume, an 'ok' job.

Everyone fell silent when the ringing of phone echoed throughout the classroom. We were all searching for the source of it, and I was the one to find it first. It was from the sleeping beauty, Natsume.

"Psst! Natsume!" I whispered to the guy beside me. He groaned and looked at me with an annoyed face. "Your phone." He yawned first and then he answered the phone. We couldn't say anything from his courage. He just answered a phone call in the middle of the class.

"What?" He asked the person from the other line. He didn't talk for a while and he suddenly cut the line. I wondered, was that his habit? A habit of cutting the line immediately. He stood up and grabbed my arm.

"Wha…what?!"

"You're working." He started to drag me.

"Nooo!" I grabbed my table so he won't be able to take me away that easy.

He stopped and looked at me with dreadful eyes. "You're defying me?" Whenever he says that, I couldn't make a comeback. This man, he really makes the most of what we have agreed on. If I knew it would be like this, I would have made specifications on our agreement.

"Where are you taking her?" Hotaru entered the scene with her invented gun pointed on Natsume.

"Babysitting." When he said that, Hotaru looked at me and smirked evilly. Chills went down my spine when I saw their silent conversation. It felt like something was about to happen that would make Hotaru happy. Natsume started to drag me again before I could open my mouth to demand for an explanation.

"Wait! My things!" I made every possible stalling of time. What Natsume did made me shut my mouth up. He looked at Hotaru, like asking for her to fix them up. No one and I meant that no one ever made Hotaru do things. She was the queen. People around her were servants. Whoever dared to make her do some random jobs clearly had a death wish. At least, that was what our impressions were.

"You expect me to pick it –" She did not manage to finish her sentence when Natsume cut her off with a 'ten thousand dollars'. Was he bribing Hotaru? "Twenty thousand" My best friend answered back. I could not believe what they were talking about. Natsume just offered her ten thousand dollars just to fix things up. And Hotaru, my best friend, just asked for more. I mean, come on, she was my best friend. Would it hurt much to fix my, her best friend, things? But I guess I was kind of used to her by now.

"Deal." Natsume agreed. His way of dealing with Hotaru seemed like they were doing it since forever and were used to it.

"Deal." Hotaru then started to fix my things up.

I was startled when Natsume flung me on his shoulders like a sack of bag. "Natsume!" I shrieked when he opened the window and leaned on the sill. "No, no, no, no! No way in hell!" I started to struggle off his arms in fear of him jumping off with me. He did it once, and he'd do it again whenever he wants.

"Hold on tight, polka." I felt him stepped on.

"Noooooooooooo!!!" I screamed as loud as I can when I felt the falling sensation. I couldn't help some tears to fall from my eyes. It was like, ten years of my life was drained away. To my surprise, we landed safely on the ground. But seeing how the ground zoomed on my face wasn't really enjoying. I thought my face was gonna hit the ground and blood would splatter all over the place. Ugh… it was a horrible experience. "Natsume…you idiot…" I whined in between my crying. "I thought… I was gonna… die…"

I heard him snickered, but didn't say anything else. He mounted me on his motorcycle, much to my horror. I just made a jump off the second floor with him, and now I'm gonna ride a big bike with him as the driver. What more extreme things would he make me do with him?

Fifteen minutes later, we arrived in front of the amusement park. I looked around and looked again to make sure that I was seeing it right. What were we doing in an amusement park? Did he suddenly want to take me out? "Natsume?" I was really wondering, but since I couldn't guess on it alone, I decided to ask him.

He just looked at his wrist watch and said, "Wait here. Don't leave until I come back." He shoved on me his gold card and then, he ran off.

That damn Hyuuga. He left me all alone in an amusement park without an explanation. How would I know what to do here? I wanted to go home to annoy him, but the golden card of his shone against the bright light and gave me an idea. Might as well have fun.

I started to think of places where I would go, but before I could move my feet, someone tugged my skirt. I flinched when I felt my skirt moved. Slowly, I turned to look at the culprit. To my surprise, it was two adorable kids. The girl was about seven, while the boy was around three. I blinked. What should I have done? Two kids out of nowhere suddenly came to me and they looked like they were lost.

"What's wrong?" I asked them. The girl beamed a cheerful smile at me, while the boy…the boy reminded me of another poker face. I just felt a shiver on my back when I thought of it. And as much as I hated it, I just couldn't shake the idea off my mind.

"Let's play together!" The little girl invited me. I looked at the card on my grip. There would be no problem with me if I take them, but there was one issue…

"Well, it's fine by me. But, where are your parents?" I wouldn't like to be with them and be accused of kidnapping or something like that.

"My dad is working. And so is my mom." She answered back with a smile.

"Then…who's with you?" The idea that was lingering inside my head was so hard to ignore. I felt uneasy.

"My driver sent us here. Later, my big brother will fetch me here after we have enough fun." She explained. The big brother part made my heart race a bit, but oh well. I thought that I would deal with it later.

I thought of it hard. Does that mean that their family knew they were here? And then they said that their brother will pick them up later. Why didn't he just go with them at the first place? "Well, if no one's with you to have fun with…wanna go with me?" I winked at them. The young boy hid behind his sister and muttered, 'old hag'. My ears twitched and so did my eyebrow.

"Ooi… Youichi. That's not nice." Little sister nudge him softly with her elbow. Because of his sister's urge, he looked at me again and whispered, 'sorry'. Seeing how cute he was, I instantly forgave him. I wondered where he heard that word from. Could it have been their brother's influence? It could be. Boys at this time were all in the rebellious stage. Well, not all of them. I didn't know, I just kind of had a feeling that they got it from the older brother.

"I'm Mikan."

"Ah! Hello! I'm Aoi and he's Youichi. Pleased to meet you, nee-chan."

We first went off to eat lunch and then we played. We went to all the places that they wanted to go, no matter how many times. In a short time we were together, I have noticed things. Aoi was the understanding one. She would explain to You-chan things that he doesn't understand, and the things that he shouldn't have said nor done. She acted mature for her own age. Probably, she was even more matured than her big brother. Even to me, she would restrain me every now and then. Sometimes, I even felt ashamed to act like that in front of her…

You-chan was the brat one. His vocabulary, though very few, was filled with sharp words. 'Old hag', 'ugly', 'scram', 'stupid', 'idiot', 'get away from me', 'I want that', 'I don't wanna', etc. They were mostly covered with insults and selfish words. But deep inside, he was still a kid who liked toys very much. He liked sweets, especially the cotton candy named 'howalons'. He was the one who introduced me to that sweet, and it made me never want to be out of stock of it.

We even went shopping for souvenirs and things we wanted and took our pictures. In a short time, I felt like they were my own siblings. Aoi was naturally sweet, You-chan was when he started a liking to me. Only, You-chan's way of showing his sweetness was…weird. When we were eating, he said, "Old hag, do you want some?" Even though there was an insult in it, it sounded funny and cute coming from his little mouth.

The tick of the clock was faster than usual, and it was already four in the afternoon. Our joyful wanderings around the park was stopped when Natsume came to the scene. He still had his poker face on as he was walking towards us. By god, I could have seen his walk in a slow motion. He was really gorgeous. "Polka." He called. Yes, he was gorgeous alright, except when he opened his mouth.

I wasn't a bit shocked when Aoi and Youichi ran to him and gave him a big hug. In my mind, I knew that You-chan's personality reminded me of Natsume. And Aoi's crimson eyes reminded me of his. The two kids were like two splitting persona of Natsume. Seeing it with my own eyes, I knew in an instant why You-chan's vocabulary was like that. And my hunch was right, that Aoi was more matured than her big brother.

I smirked in the thought. "Natsume, Aoi is pretty much matured than you, isn't she?"

"Whatever. Stupid little girl."

They were about to go when the craziest thing happened. You-chan, who called me 'old hag', clung to me with his dear life not wanting to let go. Natsume tried to pull him off me, but he just cried so loud.

"You-chan…do you want to sleep over?" I asked him. I sure hoped that he wouldn't say 'yes', because I wasn't sure whether Natsume would also come or not. And I definitely didn't want Natsume to come over.

To my dismay, yet a bit excited, he nodded his head. Aoi walked to me and tugged my skirt. "You, too?" and then she smiled a big smile.

"What did you do to them?" Natsume asked me with so much indifference in tone. I glared at him with his remarks. "How rude!"

The three siblings decided to come over, and as for me, I would ask Hotaru to also come. At least, they were all cousins. Before we went to my house, I asked to pass by the school. I thought that maybe we could fetch Hotaru or something. The three siblings stayed out the gate as I ran so fast to get to the class. To my dismay, the classroom was already empty. On my desk was a note written by Anna. "The classes ended early. Your things are sent to your home. See you tomorrow! ^.^"

I sighed in tiredness. But everything went even darker and heavier when a figure standing at the door appeared. It was Luna. I didn't know why, but the way she looked at me was so heavy, so cold, and so intense. She made me feel so small. The moment our eyes met, my body froze. But my mind was screaming 'escape!'.

"Luna? How come you're still here? I thought –"

"Bitch." I was so surprised when she said that. I didn't manage to speak again. It was only one word from her, but I felt like I did a hundred folds of crimes. She walked towards me and reached for my hair. I could have avoided it. But I was under a spell… I couldn't break free from her intense glare. "I bet you're happy now."

Her grip on my hair tightened, that I flinched because of the pain. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. The atmosphere around us was so heavy, it reminded me of how a lion would catch its prey. "You're always taking Ruka away from me. I was so stupid to think that since Hyuuga was there, you'd lay your hands off Ruka. But, no. I was so wrong! You have them both!"

I shook my head, trying to deny the things that she was accusing me.

"You! Behind your innocent façade is a filthy and disgusting personality!" She pushed me hard on the wall while still gripping my hair. "Are you still not satisfied?! You want every man to fuck you?! To worship you?!"

Her every words was cutting through me. Despite them being not true, hearing them from my best friend's girl was so hurting. I could feel my chest tighten every minute that I started to gasp for air. My tears were on the verge of falling.

"I HATE YOU! Because of you, Ruka won't look at me anymore!" Her voice was so loud, so high that it woke me up.

"No…I wasn't trying to –"

"Shut up!" The look in her eyes was so cruel. The beauty that I saw from her before was all gone, no magical dusts surrounding her, the air around her was dark. She was like a very different person. "I had so many plans. So many plans! He was dancing around me. Worshipping me! He was ready to give me the world. But you ruined it! That idiot strayed his look away from me!"

I felt like the walls just fell over me. We were right. We were so right! She really did think of Ruka as one of her toys. "You…" My mouth was trembling as I spoke. "You were using him…?"

Her eyes twitched when I said that, and then she laughed a very cold laugh. It was so cold that I shivered. "So? What are you planning to do?"

"I'LL STOP YOU!" My heart beats increased rapidly.

She must have felt more annoyed when I yelled at her. She pushed my head against the wall, but her eyes said 'I don't care'. "I am sick and tired of everyone listening to you. You're always the center of attention! It's so annoying." She hissed the last sentence. I couldn't believe what she was saying. She practically shoved anything she could find and filed it against me.

"Let's see who he'll believe after this." With that, she walked a few steps back. What she did next stunned me even more. She scraped her knees against the floor until it bled wildly. Her hands reached out for her hair and messed it so badly. After that, she kicked the chairs and tables until some of it were lying on the floor. Then, she carefully laid down the floor and screamed. "HEEEEELP!!"

I heard footsteps ran towards our classroom. I didn't know what was happening, but when the look on their faces changed, I realized what Luna was trying to do. "Help me! She started to hurt me!" Luna said as her tears flowed down like a river. I was so stunned I could only watch her stupidly as she was playing her act.

They started to murmur. Whispers were heard all over. Their eyes were all looking at me, accusing me, judging me. The look on their eyes felt like they were stripping me right then and there. To my horror, Ruka entered the scene.

His eyes scanned the situation, and I followed where he looked at. The messed chairs and tables, the blood on the floor and on Luna's knees, her messed up hair, and the tears in her eyes. He suddenly jumped off his feet and ran to her. "Luna! Are you alright?! Shit… shit!" He tried to fix her up.

I wanted to speak up, to say that I didn't do anything to his girlfriend. But before I could even open my mouth, he looked at me with fiery eyes and yelled at me. "MIKAN! What do you think you're doing?!" He walked towards me and grabbed me in the arm. The same arm where he grabbed me yesterday. "I thought you said it wasn't right to hate other's friends? What did you do?!"

I shook my head and started to talk, but Luna's voice interrupted me. "She did this to me because she's in love with you!" She yelled so loud. "She said that I took you away from her!"

Ruka's eyes fell on me again. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I just looked at everything as her trap was set in front of me. With a violent strong force, Ruka pushed me away. He walked towards Luna who was still crying non-stop and carried her away. Before they were out of sight, I saw Luna look back at me. And very faintly, I saw her thin lips curved up and her eyebrows arched.

I was left there sitting on the floor with every eyes on me. I didn't get a chance to speak… he just jumped on a conclusion just like that. My head started to spin. My chest was hurting. I still couldn't breathe. Uncontrollably, my tears began to flow. My body was trembling. I could still feel Ruka's eyes accusing me.

When other people spread rumours about me, I could just care less. But when my best friend, who I have been with since kinder garden, looked at me with those fiery eyes, I felt like my world just crumbled apart.

I felt warm arms carried me away. They were so warm, so familiar. I clung to him so tight as I was crying with all my might. Natsume. We just knew each other for a short while, but he was always the one who see me cry. He would always be the one whom my feet would always run to whenever I felt down. It was such a short time… while Ruka… we've known each other for more than ten years. Yet, he didn't let me speak. He never gave me a chance to defend my self. He was satisfied with Luna's words…and he accused me so fast.

I cried harder against Natsume's shoulders. "Stupid girl…" He muttered. But his words were buried by my weeps. Weeps of feeling like someone just died.


	7. Chapter 7

I didn't know how I got home. When I came to my senses, I just found myself on my own bed. It was two in the morning and everything was quiet. I wondered what happened to Aoi and Youichi. They really wanted to have a sleep over, but it looked like Natsume forced them not to stay. I guess I was too out of it to notice things around me.

Slowly, I sat up at the edge of my bed. It was then that I noticed the note on the table. It was from Hotaru, telling me to contact her once I wake up. She really has a sharp tongue and a cold presence, but she was still my best friend. She went over and checked on me and even left a note. Those people who called her the 'ice princess' judged her by looking at her mere first layer. I guess it couldn't be helped since Hotaru's core was so much deeper.

My hand reached out for the telephone, but my eyes caught the cell phone beside it first. I grabbed the cell phone instead and what laid before my eyes made me feel warm inside. I just received twenty messages. Some were from Sumire, from Anna and Nonoko, Yuu and Koko, even Tsubasa-senpai and the others sent me messages. Looked like Hotaru updated even the senpais.

I didn't get the chance to tell them what really happened, and it seemed like only Natsume's version was heard. I wondered what their reactions were. Was it like Ruka who couldn't believe that I just inflicted violence on Luna? Or did they believe me before I could even speak of something?

The messages were all heart warming. They all said the same thing, not to think about what happened too much and that they were there for me. I took a deep breath. The rumours about me has yet to disperse, and yet another trouble is coming. It seemed like my life was taking a roller coaster ride. When I thought that everything was quiet, it would turn out to be just the turning point for the outburst.

I dialled Hotaru's home number. It rang a few times. Maybe she was already asleep. I was about to hung up when she picked it up. "Mikan?" Was her first word. I guess no one would bother her in two a.m. but me. I heard different sounds coming from her machines. Maybe she was busy doing her work or something.

"Sorry to make you worry." It was all I could say. My mind just felt so tired that I felt like not talking. But knowing Hotaru, it would just make her even more worried if I stayed quiet.

"Idiotic girl. And? Are you going to tell me what happened?" She asked in her monotonous voice, but obviously worried.

I sighed, not knowing what to say. "Truthfully… I… even I don't understand what happened."

"What? Are you saying everything just happened by itself?" I could sense irritation to her voice.

I laughed nervously. "Well, Hotaru, that's exactly what happened." And then I stated to her everything, including every details. She was quiet after I finished talking. Maybe she didn't know how to react, or maybe that was what exactly she expected. She was, after all, a genius. "Hotaru… you… you believe in me… right?" I asked her shyly.

"Mikan, I'm not as stupid as Nogi. And I know you're stupid enough to be violent." I chuckled. Even though her words were harsh and a bit cold, but when you look behind it, it was just Hotaru being Hotaru. "You should call the kids. They were worried." When she said that, my mind completely went after the thoughts of Aoi and You-chan. "Honestly, they didn't want to leave you alone. Even Youichi was crying."

"Yeah. I'll do that."

Hotaru immediately cut the line, and so I dialled Natsume's phone. I didn't want to call him at that time, he might be sleeping and I might be disturbing him. But there was just so many things I wanted to say. No matter how annoyed he might become because of my call in the middle of the night, I wanted to call. But before I pressed the call button, I already prepared myself for the tortures he would inflict on me tomorrow. I laughed in my thought. I was more afraid of his acts than what might be waiting for me at the school tomorrow.

After a few rings, he picked it up. "What?" He asked irritatingly. His voice was still as husky as ever, but his voice that time was different than usual. It gave me chills for the first time.

I gulped. "Natsume." I tried to sound as cheerful as I could. He didn't answer back, so I just grabbed the chance to talk even if I didn't know what to say. "Umm… Aoi and You-chan?" My heart was pounding hard. I really didn't know why the atmosphere between us was so heavy.

"Sleeping."

I closed my eyes. How stupid could I be? "Then, can you tell them I called when they wake up?"

"Hn."

"Umm… Natsume?"

"Yeah?"

There were so many things that I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him how happy I was when he didn't believe that I truly hurt someone. I wanted to ask him, how come in a short time, he could already tell that there was something wrong with me? Why is it, that every time I was crying, he was the one beside me? There were so many things that I could think of saying. He gave me warmth in a very unexpected time, unexpectedly. He listened to me sing, when I thought that he would just walk out.

Everything became mixed up in my mind. I didn't know where to start. The funny thing was, I couldn't open my mouth. And when I did, all of the things I wanted to say was summarized into a word, "Thanks…"

He was silent for a while, that I even thought he fell asleep. But then, I couldn't help but laugh when he said, "Whatever. Stupid ugly girl."

::::::::::

My indoor shoes was ripped and cut to pieces. The shoe rack where I put my shoes was full of thumb tacks and garbage. I sighed at the sight of it. Who would have known that there were still some people who does such kind of things? After the rumours, the bullying was next. They didn't even know what happened. I felt the people's eyes around me fixed to me even while they do their own thing. They even stole glances on my way.

I emptied the shoe rack and threw the garbage away. My hand even got pricked by the thumb tacks. Honestly, these people were so childish no matter how matured they think they were. I still used my ragged shoes, not that I had choice. When I did, I heard giggles around me.

Everyone whom I passed by were whisperings. In one night, what happened between me and Luna has already spread through out the whole Alice Academy. I took a deep breath before I opened the door of my classroom.

"Good morning!" I greeted to nobody in particular. I even managed to smile despite the pounding of my heart. Everyone went silent for a second, and then started whisperings. I walked towards my seat as I ignored their loud whispers. Honestly, if they wanted to whisper, they could do so. But why did they do that loudly enough for me to hear? It wasn't even considered whisperings.

I froze when I saw my desk covered with writings. They wrote 'boyfriend thief', 'die', 'we don't want you here' and stuff. I groaned. Somehow, I got the feeling that they would be targeting my desk as well. I thought that these types of bullying could only be seen on a manga. Well, it wasn't like them writing on my desk could make me depressed even more so I sat down. Speaking of manga, Natsume wasn't there yet. Maybe I really did annoy him last night.

My eyes wandered around. The first one I saw was Ruka, who didn't bother to look at me. He was sitting peacefully on his own chair with his head leaned on his hand. I wish I didn't look at him, because sitting on his desk was none other than Luna herself. She was grinning to me. And only I could see it. I groaned in frustration. Goodness. Was she always like this?

"Mikan!" Anna and Nonoko and even Sumire approached me. "Don't take it to heart." Anna and Nonoko hugged me tight as Sumire continued to nag.

"I can't believe this." Sumire hissed as she tried to wipe off the writings on my desk. "Don't worry. Imai will get you out of this."

When her name was mentioned, Hotaru joined the conversation. "You'll just have to wait a for a few days."

I gave them a smile. For someone like me in that kind of situation, it was all I could do. I didn't really care about the bullying. I could endure it. I didn't need everybody to believe in me. What I wanted was just friends who trusted me. Even though I said that, they weren't really thinking like that. They wanted weren't really satisfied with just that.

The morning classes ended with so many crumbled papers 'accidentally' thrown at me. It ended with so many whispers and glances along the ten minute breaks. In a short time, I learned that whenever I leave or wherever, I should have to bring my things with me. Because every time that I took my eyes off my desk, the things on it would be wrecked. When I went to the toilet, the 'good' girls showered me using a pale of water. Sumire was so furious when she saw me got back and was totally wet.

What triggered my fear a little was when someone pushed me down the stairs, resulting for a few scrapes and a wound on my knees. After that, a bottle made of sugar fell on my head. It was so extreme I almost wanted to eat them alive. I even felt like I was a heroin of some drama.

I stretched under the usual sakura tree, but it seemed that Natsume wasn't around. If he planned to ditch, he could have told me so I wouldn't have made lunch for him. That guy. Well, it was his loss. Before I could open the lunch boxes, my phone rang with the devil's name on the caller ID. "And now he calls." I said irritatingly before I answered. "You! You could have at least told me you won't be coming. I even made lunch for you."

"I'll be there in a few minutes. Don't eat my strawberries." And then he hung up again. How could he be selfish? Ugh… But then, his comment made ma laugh when I realized what it meant. He knew that I had strawberries for him. Well, I always had strawberries for his dessert, but his reaction was totally unexpected.

After I had set the food down, I almost jumped off my feet when a voice from behind me spoke. "Looks good!" I turned around and more than surprised to see a standing Aoi and You-chan beside her. I was shocked alright, but Aoi's face turned to almost pale when she saw me. She must have been shocked to see a bandage on my head and on my knees. "Nee-chan! What happened?!"

I snapped myself back to reality. "Oh. I uh… fell on the stairs." I laughed nervously. I didn't know if she was convinced or not. Aoi was smart, she could tell when someone is deceiving her. And I wasn't prepared enough to have a good act. She was looking at me sternly, but I didn't want her to know anything more. "You..! How did you…?" I stuttered. I didn't even know what to say just to change the topic. But then, You-chan suddenly climbed up to my lap and Aoi kissed me on the cheek with an 'okay-i-won't-ask-anymore' smile. "Aoi! Who are you with today?"

She sat down beside me and started to nibble the food. "Um. Mr. Driver."

"Does… does your brother know you're here?"

"Weeell… I told him early morning that mom asked for us back to the house. But I don't think he understood. And then, and then, when I begged mom again, she let us go over here." She excitedly explained.

"So… Natsume doesn't know you're here?" I could feel the sweat on my palms for no reason at all.

"Umm… I think so?" When she said that so nonchalantly, I snapped.

"Yooou…! Aoi-chaaaan… do you know how scary your brother can be?" I whined to her like a child. This girl, she wasn't a bit concerned on what Natsume would do. Anyone would probably go crazy when your nine-year-old sister and three-year-old brother disappeared so suddenly. And they didn't even contact him? No wonder Natsume wasn't present this morning.

I took a deep breath. Anyway, I thought that I would think about it when Natsume comes. I looked at You-chan who was sitting prettily on my lap. He was eating the strawberry cake, some of the icings on his face. Seeing him like that made me so happy. I felt like I was looking at my own brother and for a moment there, I wanted to hug him so tight and never to let go again. "By the way, Aoi. You-chan doesn't look like the you and Natsume."

I noticed Aoi stopped her chewing for a moment and then smiled at me. "That's because he has a different mom."

I felt confused all of a sudden. Has their mom passed away already? "What do you mean?"

"Well… hmm… how do I explain this?" She chuckled. When I saw her reaction, I felt like I just asked something I shouldn't have.

"Ah. You don't have to answer."

"No. No." She waved her hand rapidly and shook her head. "You're like our older sister anyway. Hmm… let's see. My dad had an affair. And then, they had Youichi. But You-chan's mom doesn't want him so she left him with us and took off. Dad doesn't look at him. He even sometimes hurt him. But mom really, really loves You-chan!" I felt the air on my throat stuck up. Really, I just opened the Pandora's box. "And that's why Natsume-nii doesn't want to go home. He's mad at dad's irresponsibility. The only reason he would come home occasionally is to check-up how things are with me and You-chan."

I scratched the head of my back in embarrassment. "Umm… sorry. I don't know what to say."

She grabbed her food again with a laugh. "Don't worry! Anyway, where did you learn to cook nee-chan?"

"Ah! I learned it from my friend, Anna. She's really a great cook."

We were having a good laugh. Aoi told me how staying with her brother had made her life so hard. She even saw what was inside his fridge. "Honestly, I didn't even know what to eat when we got there. In the end, we just ordered something from the hotel's restaurant."

"Hoooooh? What do we have here? It's the boyfriend thief." A girl's voice came from behind us and we didn't even notice their presence. I chose to ignore her words as to not have a fight in front of the kids. When she and her friends kicked the lunch boxes, I thought that maybe I shouldn't have ignored them. But then again, whether I ignored them or not, they would still have done that. "Oops! My foot slipped. I am soooo sorry!" Her back-ups laughed when she said those words flirtily.

To my horror, Aoi opened her mouth and calmly said, "It's okay. We don't have any medicine for stupidity." She said it with a sweet smile on her face. That girl! She really was Natsume Hyuuga's sister. Seeing her bravery made me shiver. What's with the Hyuuga's anyway?

The group was stunned at Aoi's brave front. I was so shocked when one of the guy in that group grabbed Aoi's arm violently. "Aoi!" I tried to pull her back, but someone kicked me so hard.

"What's this? You've got a little bitch guarding you?" I heard the guy's voice.

Despite someone repeatedly kicking me with full force, I could tell that Aoi was in pain due to her whimpering. "Aoi! Aoi! No! Not her!" I tried so hard to fight back while at the same time protecting Youichi under my arms.

"I was really disappointed when I learned that this bitch was trying to steal Luna-sama's boyfriend." Someone said and then they were all laughing.

"Haha! You can't really tell from the face, huh." The look on their faces was so horrible. I could clearly see the cruelty in their eyes. Before this day, I didn't even think that a person could actually look like that. They were smiling while they were hurting us. I wanted to cry. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. In my mind, someone said, 'welcome to reality'.

"Stop struggling, brat!" I tried so hard to focus my eyes on finding the little girl I was with. I saw the guy gripping on Aoi's hair, and it created a deep feeling inside of me. For the first time, I thought I was truly angry. "Let her go!" I screamed as hard as I can. But then, my voice died down when I felt my hair being ripped out of my head. It was so painful, but before I could think of it, I thought first on how I could run with the kids. Or maybe I could even stay and let just the two of them run away. I struggled to be free on that hand's grasps that I even felt a scrape on my knee.

My chest was starting to tighten and I couldn't breathe properly. I was even more shocked when I saw You-chan out of my arms. He ran to the guy holding Aoi and kicked him on his foot. "Youichi!" I was so dreaded when someone pushed him down on the ground. I felt like I was going crazy. I grabbed the hand holding me and dug my nails on it. When the hand let go of me, I immediately jumped on the guy holding Aoi and bit his arm as much as I could until he let go of Aoi's hair.

"Nee-chan!" I heard Aoi screamed.

Before I knew it, I felt a hard punch on my face that for a split second, my sight was blocked out. I tasted metal on my tongue, but before I could even react, many feet were already kicking me on the ground.

"Show me your bravery now!"

"You little slut!"

It was so painful. So painful, I wanted to pass out. But no. I couldn't. I couldn't guarantee what would happen to Aoi and You-chan when I wasn't looking. My sides were throbbing, and so were my knees. My head was spinning. Despite all that, I tried to raise my hand and grab something. I opened my eyes and saw Aoi. Someone was still holding her arm. Youichi was trying to fight his sister's adversary.

I sighed. So tired, I thought. My eyes were getting heavier by the moment and so was my entire body. But then, Aoi's scream woke me up so completely. "Nii-chan!"

My heart suddenly raced and I shot my eyes wide open. It was Natsume. He was standing not so far from us, and the look on his face was so grim. "What the hell is going on here?" He hissed. His voice was so quiet, so calm. But his presence was so frighteningly wild. In an instant, I just saw the guy holding Aoi fell down on the ground. It was so fast I didn't know what he did. Did he punch him? Did he kick him? In front of my eyes was Natsume. He was Natsume. But the feeling was so far from reality. It was like I was lying on the middle of the jungle, watching how a mouse was trying to struggle a lion's paw.

"Shit! They were Hyuuga's siblings?!" A trembling voice said. It was so obvious the fear in his voice. But, like I give a damn. All I could see was Natsume.

"I didn't know!" As fast as they could, they fled away from the 'crime scene'.

I stood up slowly while Natsume's eyes was still on me. His presence was now gentle. The look in his face showed mellow. His eyes was examining me. But what surprised me was his expression. It wasn't the usual emotionless face. He showed me he was worried. His expression showed that he could not believe what he was seeing. "What…? You…" He stuttered.

I smiled bitterly. I might have looked like a rag. Messy hair, bloody face and ripped clothes. What, I didn't know. I shrugged my shoulders with a light laugh. "Well… I wanted to say I fell on the stairs and bumped on a door."

My feet suddenly gave up on me, but as usual, Natsume was there to catch me. When his hands touched mine, I felt a tingling sensation. It was as if I was looking for more, asking for more… It was beating like crazy, my heart was. I could feel Natsume's every move, every presence, that it drowned away all of the pain. I was so confused, I didn't know what was happening to me. I couldn't explain the reason behind the constant longing, the constant increase of my heart beat. It felt like I was an addict in desperate need of her drug but didn't know why.

Natsume carried me away. He was probably going to send me to the infirmary. In my mind, I was counting. It was already two times that I was sent to the infirmary. And the day was yet to be over. I wondered how many it would be in a week? In the way, I felt Natsume stopped but I didn't dare open my eyes.

"Mikan?" I knew that voice. It was Tsubasa-senpai. But even his voice didn't make me want to open my eyes.

"What are you, a shadow? Suddenly appearing out of nowhere." Natsume asked him irritatingly.

Knowing Tsubasa-senpai, without me even looking, he must have looked horrified. His reactions wasn't even the half of it when he suddenly screamed, "What happened?!"

I heard Natsume took a breath like he was about to talk. But then again, he just swallowed it all up. He must have thought it was tiring to speak, or in the worst case scenario, he wasn't in the mood. "Move." It wasn't a request. It was pure order. He really had a voice and a presence of power.

"Come…come on. Let me… carry her." Tsubasa-senpai stuttered. If this happened before, maybe I would have jumped to him already and cry my heart out. But this time, I was afraid Natsume would give me away so I held on to his shirt even tighter and buried my face deeper on his chest. No. I didn't want him to let go…

To my relief, he resumed walking…

I only let go of his shirt inside the infirmary when You-chan suddenly jumped on me crying. He hugged me so tight and pulled me out of my dream. "Mama!" He cried. I was frozen to my seat. Mama? Did he actually call me 'mama'? I was stunned. But more so when I saw his tears. He didn't cry earlier when he saw me and Aoi being hurt. He didn't cry when someone pushed him. Turned out that he was holding it all back. I had goose bumps thinking how brave he was. He even had the courage to fight the grown-ups despite his small body. He was just three years old. A three-year-old boy tried to kick the guy hurting his sister.

I felt ashamed when I looked at him. Just earlier during the 'battle', I wanted to cry. Now, knowing that he had just been enduring it, I noticed how weak I was.

::::::::::

M y mind was empty as I was walking back home. Hotaru said that she needed something to do. I told Natsume to bring back home the two kids. To make You-chan stop crying, I even promised that we would play together some time.

I felt like my mind couldn't take any more of what was happening that it spilled it all at once. It became empty. But truthfully, I felt at peace. I wasn't worrying about anything at that very moment… until I took a wrong turn and ended up in the neighbourhood's park.

My heart started to beat wildly when I saw the familiar silhouette. I very well knew who that shadow belonged to. It was my best friend who accused me of hurting his girlfriend. It was him. Ruka. I find it hard to breathe. My eyes were prickling, threatening to drop any time.

He turned around and met my eyes. I could never forget the look on his face. He was so shocked, he couldn't believe that I was the same girl he knew. "Mi…kan…?" He called. I didn't move an inch. I just stared at him, wondering what he will do next. He had hurt me both physically and emotionally, and both were really unexpected. What more surprises could he have?

Slowly, he inched toward me. The regret on his face was so evident. I didn't want him to look like that, even after what happened, he was still the same Ruka that I have been with all my life. He was still my best friend. I flashed him a small smile to relieve him. But it looked like it gave him the opposite. He fell on his knees, trembling. His hands were reaching out to me, so I went to him.

"Ruka? Are you okay?" I asked him tiredly.

He shook his head. "No, no… no… Mikan… I'm… I… what happened to you…? What… what's going on…?" He was stuttering. It was so obvious that his mind was jumbled. "Look at you…" He suddenly became tired, like he was about to give up. "I… I did something wrong…"

"Ruka…" I tried to calm him down. I thought I was the only one suffering, but seeing Ruka tremble uncontrollably, I thought he looked pathetic.

"I didn't know this would happen…" His eyes was now fixed on the ground. "I… I didn't have the courage to approach you. But, you see, Mikan, I want you to know, it wasn't because I was mad or embarrassed or anything!" He clung to me again. "It was because… I… I couldn't look at you! After what I did… after I hurt you… I didn't know what to say!"

That moment, all I could feel was nothing but peacefulness. But that feeling was soon replaced by shock and my heart beating when Ruka said the thing that I almost have forgotten…

"Luna… she said you love me." My ears perked up when he said that. I didn't expect that he would open that topic up. He stood up straight and held on my shoulders tight while his eyes didn't leave mine. I knew then what he was going to say next, but I was afraid that I didn't know how to answer.

"Mikan. Do you love me?"

That moment, every movement around us was frozen. I could clearly feel the stillness of the night. But all I could hear was my heart beating so fast so hard. He just asked me the very question that I wanted to answer for a very long time.


	8. Chapter 8

I rolled down my bed to the other side. It has been three hours since I went to bed, but my mind was completely active. I already tried every position I could have thought of. Be it bury myself under the pillow, or squat on the bed, hug my covers, I did it all to find comfort to drive me to sleep. But it seemed like whatever I did, the loud ticking of my bed side alarm clock was keeping me awake.

I wrinkled my nose in frustration and sighed. Then, I sat up straight and scratched the back of my head vigorously. That was it. I couldn't take it anymore, so I stood up, grabbed a robe and fetched my guitar and went over to the balcony.

It was a cold night. The breeze of the night caressed my face like no other. It would have been a perfect night if not for the obstacles that was laid in front of me. I looked up and saw the best sky I have ever seen. There were faint red in the sky like a smoke, and the stars were twinkling so bright. It was like the sky zoomed in a thousand of times just for me. I heaved another sigh and sat down and strum a hymn.

Earlier that day, the person whom I loved for so many years just asked me the question I yearned to hear. Ruka was my best friend, he was the one nearest to me for more than ten years. Whenever I was troubled, he would be there to comfort me and make me laugh. His gentleness touched my heart like a feather touching the surface of a water. It had impact in my life. Truth be told, he was like the guardian angel the god had sent me.

For a millionth of times, he made my heart beat like crazy. With every smile, with every touch, I felt like I was sent to heaven and back to earth. His cheerfulness has made me conquer the difficulties I had in my life. I thought that if I could be like him, I would be able to face it all. He was my guide, my light.

I loved him. It was true that I loved him. But why, when he asked me if I loved him, I didn't know what to say? When he asked me that question, I could have answered 'yes' easily. But the moment that I was standing in front of him and I heard that, I felt a slump on my throat. My mind became so frozen, unable to process anything. It was like my whole 'me' had just experienced a reset and everything was back to zero.

My feelings were so confused. It was like, I wanted to think about it and find an answer immediately, but at the same time I didn't want to. At first, I've decided that I would tell him 'yes' the next day. But somewhere inside me, I didn't want to make rash decisions. Then I wondered, why was I hesitating? I didn't know…

::::::::::

I was running for my life. The bullying yesterday was actually not even in the one-fourth percent of the bullying today. The whole school was practically looking for me and it made me feel like a wanted person on the run. I even had to sneak in and out of the classroom just to preserve the years of my life I have left. Truth be told, I was ready for this. I even packed extra uniforms and a jogging pants in case something far worse than yesterday was to happen. I didn't know my preparation was really an essential.

My feet dragged me to the roof top. I almost died from heart attack when a shadow suddenly jumped from above. I felt like I knew that shadow, like I've seen it so many times. "Yo!" My heart skipped a beat, but when my eyes adjusted from the sun light, I just couldn't stop myself from feeling a bit… just a bit… disappointed. It wasn't whom I wanted to see. It wasn't the one who had been constantly showing in my life whenever I needed someone.

"You sure stirred up a lot of trouble, Mikan." It was the ever strong Misaki-senpai.

"Yeah. And seriously, this ain't a laughing matter anymore." Tsubasa-senpai's voice came from above me.

"You two!" I blurted out. Misaki-senpai smiled slyly to me and did me a head lock.

"You couldn't be disappointed to see us, could you? You're not expecting someone, are you?"

I laughed nervously. It was just a bulls-eye. "Can't be!" I answered as I tried to avoid her eyes.

"Hoooohh? This little girl!"

"Anyway, the last time I saw you, you were so tattered that I didn't get a chance to ask you what was happening." We were now all sitting above the roof top's door. There, we wouldn't be seen easily. "I heard the rumours, but I know you enough to know they weren't true. So, what's up?" Tsubasa-senpai was so serious that it was hard to recognize him. In my eyes, he looked so much cooler.

I told them everything that happened starting from when we met Luna up to the incident yesterday. The silence after my story was so deafening. I didn't know how they would react and that itself already scared me. I didn't want to make this thing any bigger. The two of them looked at each other, and their eyes were saying something. It was as if they were planning on something dreadful. They have been my 'guardians' since the first day of school, and I knew them enough to avoid their wrath.

In front of something serious, Tsubasa-senpai was the cool one. Even though in ordinary days, he would seem always exaggerating, he was so calm when something's serious. On the other hand, Misaki-senpai was a hot-blooded woman. Wherever, whenever, she would always be on fire. I have seen her stop Tsubasa-senpai's exaggerations violently, and I have seen her kick some butt whenever she was pissed. And when the things get serious, I have seen her in struggle to calm her self down. She wanted to be calm, she didn't want to lose control. So in order not to lose her cool, she would stand at the sidelines if possible.

I sighed. These two people sure were a handful. But I would be lying if I say that I wasn't a bit moved to see them pissed on my situation. But I shouldn't impose on them too much. My friends almost got caught up on the mess I was the last time they tried to help me. In order for them not get involved, I arrived in this idea of sneaking and hiding. I knew that they would be mad at me for running and not letting them in, but I was so afraid that they would get hurt in place of me. I didn't want that. To me, I was ready to be isolated and alone than to drag them in such troubles.

The door banged open that interrupted my thoughts. My heart thumped wildly, I didn't know if it was because of shock or because I was too aware of the people wanting to catch me. I held my breath and I didn't dare move an inch. My nape had goose bumps and my back felt like electricity was flowing through it. I badly wanted to turn my head to look, but my fear stopped me from doing so.

More to my surprise, a hand grabbed my cheeks and stretched it so hard. There was only one person who would do that to me. My eyes looked for that person's eyes and crimson greeted me with irritation. "Natshume?"

His eyebrows twitched. "Damn brat. I was looking for you everywhere."

My ears perked up. He was looking for me? My heart beat raced voluntarily. "You were?"

I noticed him froze for a moment, but before I could say anything else, he recovered immediately. "My lunch. Stupid servant."

And then I remembered. I have been holding on to his lunch wherever I went. I didn't want to leave it on the desk since the eyes were watching and they were ready to attack any minute. For all I know, I have spent so much effort on the lunches I made. I didn't want them to mess it up like the last time. I laughed nervously. The thought of Natsume looking for his lunch all over the campus, irritated and annoyed, made me shiver. I mentally slapped myself, I just couldn't believe how stupid I was.

He smirked. "Or did you think I was looking especially for you?"

His words made my heart went crazy that it made me wake up. I struggled free from his hands and went behind Tsubasa-senpai. I was so embarrassed because in truth, for a second there, I really thought that he was looking for me and not for his lunch. I heard Tsubasa-senpai laughed nervously. "Mi…Mikan… You should… give him his lunch." He stuttered. Where has all his seriousness earlier went off to?

I took a peek at Natsume who was so irritated. I cried inside my head. How come he was so irritated? I prepared myself from his wrath that I was about to receive. Good job, Mikan, I told myself. Good job angering Natsume Hyuuga. When I was on his reach, he pinched my cheek again.

"I'm going out." That made me listen attentively. But, god, I wish I didn't open up my ears. "You, stupid girl! Don't be so damn stupid and fight back those damn shits! You're too damn good to those fuckin' dimwits! Remember this, ugly girl. I WILL know whether you fought or not." He said those words slowly, every curses was emphasized. I even thought my ears bled in his words.

I cried animatedly due to my cheeks stinging. I glanced at Tsubasa-senpai and Misaki-senpai asking for some help. But what I saw made me give up, Misaki-senpai was laughing non-stop and Tsubasa-senpai was sweating bullets. "I feel like not going anymore." Natsume murmured, much to Misaki-senpai's more delight.

The door opened again, this time, it was Tono-senpai. "Shenpai!" This time, Natsume released my cheeks.

"How did you know where we are?" Tsubasa-senpai asked him suspiciously with his eyes narrowing.

Tono-senpai laughed heartily and proudly announced, "Well, I know where Mikan would be. My manhood told me."

Natsume suddenly grabbed me again and covered my ears. "Damn pervert. I'm gonna kill you one day when you're not aware." I heard him hissed. I thought it was stupid of Natsume to cover my ears. It wasn't like I couldn't hear them anyway. And besides, I didn't even know what they were talking about. Well, I knew that it was Tono-senpai talking about H stuffs again, but like I could understand. All I knew was that, Misaki-senpai and Tsubasa-senpai was kicking and punching him like hell.

"Natsume? I thought you were going somewhere?" I asked him. I didn't want him to be late just because of our childish bickerings.

He was silent for a moment and was looking sternly at Tsubasa-senpai and Tono-senpai. And then, I heard Misaki-senpai laughing so hard again. "Don't worry! Don't worry! Like hell I'm gonna let them touch her." She said.

With that, Natsume took off with a frown on his face and the lunch box on his arm. That guy was so irritated. It was just a lunch box. He shouldn't have gotten mad at me just because of that stupid lunch box.

The three of them started to bicker once again. "Ruka asked me if I love him."

In an instant, the noise died down. The look on their faces was priceless, I wanted to laugh. But their sudden outburst on me prevented it. They knew what I felt for Ruka. They knew it for a long time. It must have been a shock to them to hear what I just said. Well, I couldn't blame them, even I was so shocked.

"And? What happened?!" Misaki-senpai was more than enthusiastic.

"I… I didn't know why, but… I couldn't answer." I smiled tiredly as I looked at the landscape of the Alice Academy.

"You couldn't answer? Why? Isn't it what you were waiting for so many years?" Tsubasa-senpai asked with so much curiosity.

"I… yes, but…" How to answer him when even I couldn't answer myself?

"Natsume." Misaki-senpai bluntly said. I looked at her, my heart beat increasing. "You're heart is racing?" She asked, but it seemed like it wasn't really meant to be answered. She then smiled. "You're so dense when it comes to your own life."

::::::::::

As I was walking quietly along the empty hall ways after school, I thought about what happened at the roof top. For a moment back there when Misaki-senpai's shadow jumped from above me, I really thought that it was Natsume. The thought of him coming and saving me again made my heart beat so fast. I slapped my forehead. Why was I expecting him? It seemed like I have been depending too much on him. But Misaki-senpai said something really weird. I couldn't understand what Natsume has got to do with me being unable to answer.

I sighed. My life was really turning into some drama. When the guy I liked started blabbering about the girl she liked, I was so upset to the point of giving up. But when he asked me what I feel for him, I couldn't even answer. Gosh, I hated myself. I felt really stupid I wanted to pounce myself.

I immediately stopped my tracks when I heard a voice coming from the abandoned room. That room was not used, nobody would even go there. There had been a strange rumours about lover's turf or something, but I never really checked out this room. My curiosity peaked when I heard a familiar girl's voice.

I leaned at the wall near the door. Who could have been there? The voice was someone I know, why would she go there in such a creepy place? My breath got stuck when I heard what she was saying. "Ruka, what's the matter?" When she mentioned Ruka's name, I immediately recognized who she was.

"Luna…" I heard Ruka's voice. He sounded so…tired, so shaken. "Did… did Mikan really… hurt you?"

My ears perked up. Yesterday when he went to me and talked to me, I thought he really didn't believe that I smacked her girl friend. Hearing it now drained almost all of my remaining strength. He was not sure. He wasn't sure about me. In the end, he was still doubtful. I almost laughed in realization.

"What? Are you doubting me?" Luna just blurted out what was on my mind. Her tone was accusing, and it wasn't a bit pleasant to hear. Hearing her say those words made me lose of myself. I didn't know what was what anymore. In our situation, who was right and who was wrong? I closed my eyes, trying to calm my weary mind. Maybe I shouldn't have expected Ruka to believe me. I should have understood him, Luna was her girl friend. I thought that I got so selfish in wanting him side me.

But there was another side of me that was whispering, 'you have been together for more than ten years'. Then again, maybe that wasn't an excuse enough for him to believe me straight away.

"Kiss me, Ruka." Luna commanded him.

Behind those closed doors, my best friend and his girl friend was sucking each other's faces. I didn't want to think about it. Nor imagine it. What was in my mind was the fact that… I was so lost. It was a big blow to me knowing that my best friend doubted me. To tell the truth, it was a tad bit disappointing. In this world, where everything might change a hundred eighty degrees in a blink of an eye, no one could be sure of what to happen. Maybe, I thought, this was just an example of that.

My thoughts were broken when I heard something banged inside. The clattering of the chairs and tables almost made me jump. I was even more terrified when I heard someone moan. Could something must have happened to the two of them? The room was full of unused things, it might be even dangerous to a fresh flesh to go over there. What to do, what to do? Should I call ambulance immediately?

I grabbed my phone and was about to dial when I heard a silent scream. Gah! Forget that stupid ambulance. And so, I opened the door…

I shouldn't have. I regretted immediately when I opened it and saw something I wasn't supposed to see. My jaws dropped, my eyes widened. Goose bumps covered my entire body. As fast as the tick of the clock, I scrammed. I ran away as fast as I could without even looking back. My heart was beating like crazy, and god, I thought my eyes were gonna pop out! "Ayieehh! What the…?! Stupid stupid stupid Mikan!" I slapped my head so many times as I was running. "How could you… You should have known! Aaaaacckk! I thought it was weird. So they were… doing… doing… 'that'. Ayayaya!" I screamed out of embarrassment. Oohh, I thought I was going crazy! "Lover's turf…" I sighed.

::::::::::

I turned to the other side of the bed. Whenever I closed my eyes, 'that' scene flashes on my mind. Looked like sleepless night was waving at me. "Aaaaaacck. How could I have such good memory?! Yaaaaaaahh!!!" I stomped my feet on my bed and scratched my head so hard in frustration. I stood up in a flash and paced along the space at the foot of my bed.

"Do lovers really do that?" I asked myself unbelievably. "But how could they?! It was so scary. Goodness! Really? Really, really?! It should be so embarrassing! How could…?! Gyaaahh! She… she could take 'that'?!" I once again felt goose bumps covered me. I even shivered in remembering! "This won't do. This won't do! I've… I've never thought of Ruka like that. I mean… Oooohh! This is driving me crazy. Would the time come that even I would…? Uuuuhhhh… I can't shake this memory off…" How could I have calmed myself down when Luna's face was as clear as a mineral water?!

I have never once thought about it. I have never even imagined that I would experience that kind of thing in my life. Maybe not now, maybe someday. I stopped my endless pacing when Natsume's face popped in my head.

"Tsk! Shut it out!!" I screamed at myself immediately. "How could you think of that guy in this kind of…? Uuugghh!!! I'm such a pervert…" That day was so... differently tiring. How come I had to battle H stuffs face to face this day? First, it was Tono-senpai at the roof top. And then, I actually saw 'it'. Could this day get any more perverted?

To relieve myself of that memory, I went out with my bike to go to the convenience store. It was nine in the evening, and there were still people outside, so I wasn't that scared. I really regret opening that door. My being nosy lead me to such an uncomfortable situation. It was such a good thing that no one saw me saw that scene, not even those two. I guess they were too out of the world to have even felt my presence.

"Aahhh. I don't want this day to be repeated. Such horrifying experience this is." I murmured.

I grabbed a strawberry milk and a cup noodles. And also the custard filled bread, and a bar of chocolate with almonds, and a bag of salty junk food, and a mineral water. I laughed at myself in relief. "Heehee. This will fill me up." I said satisfyingly.

My peaceful time was interrupted by Ms. Heart of mine almost jumping out her cage when my phone rang with Natsume's name on the caller's ID. "Ayyyyy. One of the guys I don't want to be reminded of right now…" But then again, what could I do against Natsume Hyuuga? "Hello?"

"Brat. Did something happen?" He asked in his monotonous voice. I was again reminded of that dreadful lover's turf. I shook my head violently, hoping the memory would go away. "Not really. I was excellent in sneaking!" I proudly said.

"Here's your change." The cashier guy said and gave me the change for my bill.

Natsume must have heard it since he threw tantrums again. "You. Where are you right now?" He asked obviously irritated.

"Me? I'm at the convenient shop. I went to buy a few… um… few? Yeah, few food." I was hesitating to say 'few' when I looked at the shopping bag. I guess it wasn't really few…

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" He hissed. I wrinkled my face in annoyance. What could be the problem with this guy? Ever since the bullying started, he had been over protective.

I froze for a moment. Could he really be worried about me? I found myself so silly when my heart started to race again. I felt my cheeks got warm, even my ears were ticklish. The hair on my nape stood up, and the tingling sensation I got from listening to his voice was so weird. It felt like he was standing right behind me and whispering to my ears.

"What…?" I whined. "I was hungry…"

I heard him snickered from over the line. I didn't know why, but Natsume Hyuuga's laugh was really a stress-reliever. "Why are you laughing?" I asked. I wanted to drag our conversation as much as possible.

"Nothing." And he snickered again.

"You're making fun of me, aren't you?"

"No."

"You are---" I didn't get to finish what I was saying when someone appeared in front of me. He was the number one guy on my list whom I didn't want to see.

"What happened?" Natsume asked when I was quiet for quite some time.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" Ruka asked with pleading eyes. After what I saw earlier, I didn't really know how to face him. I couldn't even look at him straight in the eyes.

I guess Natsume heard his voice. "Oh, it's him." He said quietly. I didn't really want to hung up the phone. I wanted to keep it open, to keep talking to him. I wanted to hear him laugh some more. But before I could even say 'sorry, can we talk some other time' to Ruka, Natsume beat me to it. "Night." And he cut the line. I sighed. Stupid Natsume, I was getting so much fun to hear him laugh, but he hung up on me all of a sudden.

We went to the neighbourhood's park where we used to play a lot. We were quiet for a while, he just looked at me while I was gnawing on my food. I didn't really have much to tell him. He was the one who wanted to talk, so I waited until he talked.

"You know…" He started. "Since we were young, you always had a bright smile on your face."

I couldn't really get what he was trying to say. But knowing Ruka, he always would start off with the background when it comes to serious matters. I wondered what he was talking about. Could it have been about the stuff with Luna and me? Then, I realized that I almost never thought about it after I saw the both of them inside that cursed room. It was funny how that one incident made me forget all of the other stuffs temporarily.

"I was used that whenever I look beside me, there would always be you." He looked up at the sky, and so did I. The night was so quiet, I could only hear the chirping of the insects. "And then… someone came to my life. I thought I was happy and content. But then… when I looked beside me, what I saw shook me up. There was you alright, there was you beside me. You never failed to stand by there. But then again, I also saw someone standing beside you."

When he talked like that, I knew for sure that it was Natsume he was talking about. I didn't know why. There were many people standing by me, supporting me. But Natsume was the one who first popped inside my head. If Ruka got something wrong, it was his opinion of Natsume standing beside me. Because from what I felt, he would always be behind me. No, he wouldn't stand beside me where I could see him. But whenever I wanted to look back, it was him who would always be there. He was always standing behind me. Like he was guarding or something. I couldn't see him, but he could see me. He could see me perfectly that he knew when to appear.

I continued to nibble on my food while he continued to talk. "I don't like it." He said, his eyes now fixed on the ground. "I can't stand the sight of you standing beside other guy. I thought about it for a while. Today, from morning 'til now, even when I was alone with Luna, you were all I could think of."

Hearing his words made me choke. I coughed so hard I thought my breath was going to stop. He just said that even when he was alone with Luna, he was thinking about me. The sight from earlier made me shiver. Could he have said the truth? It was only me he could think of? If it was, then what was that I saw earlier? They were doing… 'that'. By the looks of it, they were so passionate, he didn't even realized someone had already walked in that room. Now, he talks about me being in his mind all along?

I grabbed the water and gulped it. "Go on." I urged him to continue.

"What I'm saying is… the whole time that I was thinking, I have realized one thing." He looked at me straight in the eyes. I tried to avoid his gaze, but I just couldn't ignore his big blue eyes. "I'm in love with you…"

I didn't quite catch that.

"I love you, Mikan. I'm so foolish to have only realized it now. I… I thought that I only saw you as a sister." He laughed. But that laugh had a tint of bitterness in it. "I guess I was wrong. Only when Natsume appeared that I've thought seriously of you…"

Natsume again… what has that guy done that almost everybody was eyeing him?

He looked at me again. "I love you."

I just stared at him. I was wondering how he could say those words to me just after his little 'exploring' with Luna. I tried to calm myself down. "And Luna?"

He averted his eyes and looked down. "I don't know..."

He don't know, he said. He just confessed to me while they were still in a relationship. I didn't want to judge people, specially my best friend. I didn't want to accuse him of something or even doubt him, like how he did to me. But I wasn't that stupid. I knew what was right and what was wrong. And him confessing to me while in a relationship, that was so wrong of him.

If what he said was true, then he lied to Luna. If that confession was just because of the flow of the things between us, then he was lying to me. Either way, he was lying to someone.


	9. Chapter 9

**I don't know why, but when I read this chapter over, I thought it was short even though it's the longest chapter I have made so far. I was listening to Yiruma's 'Love hurts' and 'Moonlight' and 'Kiss the rain' as I was writing this chapter. You guys can listen to it too while reading, it totally sets the mood up. n_n)**

**By the way, thanks guys for reading this, and also thanks to those who gave their reviews.**

I thought I was going to die. The thought of life leaving me, and not being able to see those whom I loved once again, scared me. I have never once thought about death. I'm still young and there's too many things I still want to do, that was what I thought. I even believed that people die in age. When people die, would they still remember those precious memories that they once treasured with all their hearts?

I was sneaking around the school again. When I came to school that morning, my shoes weren't ripped, my locker wasn't full of trash. I thought that everything already calmed down, and the people got bored of our little game. I guess I was wrong. It was just the moment before the real storm.

There were so many things that I thought wouldn't have gotten any worse. Because of my naïve thinking, I was so shocked when almost all in the school threw hard boiled eggs on me wherever I went. If they were throwing tomatoes at me, maybe I could have endured the pain a little better. Hard boiled eggs… it felt like they were throwing rocks at me. I almost laugh in craziness when there were even ten or so who chased me around with bats and sturdy piece of woods. Honestly, they were getting so violent.

During break time, my phone rang. I thought it was weird when it turned out to be Ruka's number. I looked around to see where he was, but he was nowhere in sight. I opened his message thinking what could it be. Ruka was never one to send messages during school time. If so, it would be about something he thought seriously of. My curiosity was tickled when I read his message. 'I'm at the swimming pool. Can you help me with a little something? I'm really having troubles now'.

Ruka having troubles. It used to be always about Luna, but now, I wasn't that sure of what it was about. Specially after the confession last night. I sighed and scratched my head hard.

"Hotaru. Ruka said he's having a problem. He wants me to go meet him by the pool." I whined at my very dear girl best friend. She was scribbling some accounts on her notebook. I looked at it carefully. These days, she had been so busy. I even thought she lost some weight.

"If he was really in trouble, isn't it easier to call than send a message?" She was very suspicious of it. I guess I couldn't blame her, for what had been happening to me so far, everywhere was danger prone.

I smiled at her. "It's fine…" Even though I said that, deep inside me was suspicious. Never once had Ruka sent me that kind of message. Whenever he was in trouble, he wouldn't let anyone know it unless he had already solved it. In my mind, there was a small voice telling me not to go, but I shoved it away. Ruka was my best friend, and I didn't want to doubt.

Hotaru sighed. She knew me well enough to know that when it comes to my friends, I wouldn't hesitate.

I took off as fast as I could and went to the swimming gym. During my first year here, I have never even once joined the swimming class. I was always standing by the sidelines. I like swimming alright, but not with the eight feet pool. Truthfully, I couldn't even swim and hold my breathe under water. Whenever we went to an outing, I would always have an air boat with me. But this time wasn't the time for me to be afraid of the water.

The pool was quiet when I got there. There was no sign of Ruka anywhere. I was scared witless when I heard a phone ringing. That tone was familiar. I have heard it so many times before. I followed where the sound was coming from and was more than surprised to see Ruka's phone lying on the ground. Someone sent a message, but it wasn't for Ruka. It was an anonymous number, and what it said almost made me cry. 'Are you stupid?'

I heard laughters behind me, and when I turned, there stood three girls. I knew their faces, or more like I knew who they were. They were my classmates, those who were very good friends with Luna since the very first day she transferred here.

"Ah-ahh. I can't believe she really will rush out to here when we use Ruka's name." One of them by the name Wakako said with a hint of disgust in her voice.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I was really getting tired of this game. "If there's no problem, I think I'll leave." I was about to go when her friend grabbed me violently in my arms. It was Rika, the girl who used to ask me to teach her properly in our lessons.

"This bitch! You think there's no problem?!" Wakako Usami grabbed my hair so hard I thought she was going to rip my head off. "Your bitchiness is what the problem is!"

The third girl laughed. It was Aya, the one who used to be the most quiet person in our class. "Bitchiness. I like that." She was laughing so hard, like she just heard a very funny joke.

"You're a real pain in the ass, you know? Acting goody-goody. You were so lucky that there are so many people around you protecting you like a baby. It's so annoying!" Wakako looked at me straight in the eye, her eyes widening a bit. "And then you go stealing other people's boyfriends! Ugghh! I want to throw up!"

"That's due to her upbringing." Aya commented. I bit my lower lip, trying so hard not to fight back. It was fine with me when they were abusing me, but what I really wouldn't stand is when the people I care about is being insulted. "A bitch mother and a bastard father would make a fuckin' slut." She giggled.

"Don't you dare insult my parents." I hissed at her. I was raging mad. I never liked to hear someone insult my friends, specially when they didn't even know them well.

"You dare---" Aya slapped me with full force on my face. I felt my inner cheek rubbed so hard against my teeth that it got bruised.

"Aya! Not the face! We can't leave evidence!" Wakako hissed. She released my hair, but replaced it with a hard pressure in my stomach. She just kicked me so hard that it made me cough. I felt like I wanted to throw up, it was such an uncomfortable feeling. In my eyes, everything moved in a slow motion.

What they did next made me so scared. The three of them all together pushed me to the deepest part of the swimming pool.

My mind became blank as I struggled for air. The cold water was embracing me gladly, slowly suffocating me. I felt my air pipes tighten by the minute. I struggled so hard, struggled, and struggled, wanting to take in some air. Under water, I was coughing… I was crying. I have never once thought about death. I'm still young and there's too many things I still want to do, that was what I thought. When I die, would I still be able to remember the people I loved? But the slowly appearance of memories in front of me scared me more. It was like they were leaving me…

Was my eyes closed? Or was it really just dark under water? I soon became tired. So tired to even struggle the arms of Death welcoming me. Under those circumstances, my thoughts were of my friends and my mom. Would they miss me? Hotaru won't be able to hit me anymore. Ruka might blame himself from my death. How could I relieve him and say it wasn't his fault? I bet the girls would cry their eyes out… Would mom be able to eat properly? It must be really sad for a parent when their child dies before them. And then there was Natsume… That guy. He wasn't one to eat properly. Always eating noodles and instant food. Would he miss me? Would he care that I won't be able to be there for him anymore?

I didn't want to die… I wanted to live and see his smile. It was funny how he could make me want to struggle Death more. But I was too tired, I couldn't even feel my body anymore… As the minute passed by, I felt so peaceful like never before. Maybe, just maybe, all of those who died felt the same peacefulness.

In the midst of the darkness… I thought I saw my dad's face. Dad. My insides suddenly got warm. I missed him so much… He then grabbed me by my arm and pulled me.

I could feel the air fill my lungs again. I could see the brightness of the sun. I could feel the warmth of sun rays touch my cheeks. I didn't die. My dad saved me… I was coughing so hard, my lungs adjusting again. My sight was still blurry, but I was looking for my dad. He came to save me. "Dad?" I called out, but there was no answer. "Dad!" I called out again despite the coarseness of my voice, but there was none…

The ringing of my ears stopped, and hard coughing and cries pulled me back to reality. I tried so hard to adjust my eye sight, and what I saw made me shiver down to the very last bone. There was no dad, but there was Kaname Sono. He was all wet, and pale, and coughing blood…

"Senpai?" My heart felt like someone just punched me and made a hole. "Senpai…?" Without notice, my tears went down uncontrollably. "Senpai! Senpai!" I caressed his back to ease his coughs. My mind noticed the cries and so my eyes followed where it was coming from. It was Wakako and her friends. They were all crying. "Call an ambulance!" I told them.

Wakako, with her eyes crying told me, "We didn't know! We didn't mean to!"

"I DON'T CARE!" I screamed. "Hurry and call an ambulance! Call! Call! Call!" She immediately grabbed her phone and called the hospital. I couldn't stop my screaming, I couldn't stop crying. Why in the world should it be Kaname-senpai? I preferred somebody else more, someone but Kaname-senpai who was suffering from a weak body. Not him. Just not him. I would even gladly offer my life to turn back time.

::::::::::

"WHAT IN THE WORLD DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!" Jinno-sensei yelled. I was dripping wet, and I just had a face off with Death whom I just barely escaped, and here I was, standing in the middle of the faculty room getting yelled at.

They were crying, the three of them, Wakako and her friends. I guess they should after what they did. "She pushed him!" Wakako shouted and caught my attention. She then pointed at me. All of the eyes followed her finger and landed on me. I sighed and smiled bitterly. She just said that I pushed Kaname-senpai off the pool…

I shut my eyes tight. I just… didn't care anymore.

"Sakura? I can't believe this. Under your innocent façade is a filthy monster!" Jinno-sensei hissed at my face as I just continued to stare at nothingness. 'It's fine, go on. Yell at me. Accuse me. Do it until you're satisfied' was what I thought of that moment. I was so tired. I felt numb. The hollow in my chest just wouldn't disappear. It was like my heart was just ripped out of it.

"Wait. Jinno-sensei, we don't know for sure what really happened." It was Narumi-sensei, my homeroom teacher and my favorite. Even thought most of the students were utterly 'disgusted' at his fashion taste, I loved him. He was warm and kind. He gave off the feeling of my dad. No one knew, but inside my head, I wanted to hug him and call him dad. I felt him like a family.

"Narumi-sensei, this is the reason why the students are so irresponsible! Look at her! She didn't even cry when Kaname was sent to the hospital!" Jinno-sensei's high cheek bone was emphasized by the light behind him. His gaze was not leaving me. Behind those round spectacles, he was scrutinizing me. "Students these days. You, Sakura, you disappoint me! Your grades are good alright, but your personality stinks! I can't even bare to breathe the same air you breathe!"

I closed my eyes. I couldn't bare to look at them anymore. A teacher accusing me, and three girls crying fake. I was so disgusted. "Jinno-sensei!" I heard Narumi-sensei's voice.

"We have to guide them towards the right path!" Jinno-sensei said in a hiss. "She's just one of the many students who are corrupted! I have to bend her! Kids her age, they think they're right. They think that the world is against them. But it's all just in their imagination! I have to correct her!"

The rumblings went on and on for almost an hour. Finally, they let the three of us go. I walked around aimlessly. I have never felt this empty before… Inside my head, there was only Kaname-senpai who was coughing blood. The siren of the ambulance was still ringing in my ears. "Senpai…" My knees gave up on me, even my eyes couldn't bare it anymore and shed the tears they were keeping all along. "Senpai…" I cried. He was sent to the hospital, and I couldn't even go and see him. I didn't even know what was happening to him.

My mind was spinning, my chest was hurting. Why? Why did he have to jump and save me? Why did he have to see me under that situation? Why did I, with my stupidity and naïveté, went off to that accursed pool?! I cried so hard… The feeling of life that I felt when I was saved has long been gone. I couldn't feel it anymore…

The sound of my cries filled up that empty hallway.

Familiar warm hands embraced me. It was only then that I felt life again filled me up. He was so warm, so comforting. I clung to him like there was no tomorrow and cried as much as I could. "Stupid." His warm and husky voice whispered in my ears. Funny how one moment, I was feeling lifeless, and then one moment I was filled with warmth all because of this one guy. It was a while before I was able to stand up straight again, only then that I saw Hotaru standing beside him.

"I can't take this anymore." She grabbed my hand and lead me to god knows where. I looked back at Natsume, who just smiled gently at me.

"I'm right behind you." He said. I didn't know why, but when he said that, I felt like everything was going to be okay…

Stunned was an understatement when the doors of the office of the head master stood before me. Hotaru just dragged me to the principal's office. She knocked twice and banged the door open. Behind the desk was a man I loved. The very man who reflected the image of my late father. When I first came to this school, I told him that I wouldn't see him aside from business. I didn't want other students to know that this man, the principal, was my uncle. Outside, he was my friend. But in school, I tried so hard to look at him as a student.

"Mikan?" His voice, which sounded so much like my dad, shook me up again. His eyes were just like how he would look at me outside the school.

"Uncle…" I ran to his arms, tears edging out again. He caressed my hair, like how my dad used to. Honestly, their mannerisms, their voices, their eyes, they resembled big time.

"Principal, can I please take over the broadcasting room and the security room?" Hotaru said without her voice shaking. She was fuming, I could tell. Her gaze at uncle Kazu was not a bit wavering.

Hotaru got what she wanted even when uncle didn't have the least idea of what was happening. The rumours about what was happening around me didn't even reach him. Not one teacher told him what was happening. I couldn't blame them, no one knew I was his niece. They might be secretly planning on how to stop the turmoil all by themselves. Including the head master of the academy would make things official and would just make things bigger. Of course, no teacher would want that.

But my best friend, she called for all the teachers to come to the head master's office. Everyone was tensed, the silence was deafening. The teachers were seated around the table with the head master at the very top.

"Imai! How dare you drag the principal in this little children's fight?!" Jinno-sensei hissed. I stood there silent, not even moving a finger. I was scared. Hotaru was the type of person who goes all the way when it comes to revenge, thus earning the name 'ice princess'. It wasn't just for show. She was the one girl everyone was scared of.

Hotaru just looked at him expressionless, but her eyes was burning. I looked at the person standing behind me, Natsume. He was quiet all those times, but he never left. I was, for one thing, thankful that he never left my side. At the least, his presence could calm me down.

I heard the principal sighed. "I'm sad and angry."

The faculty were frozen. This scene, I dreaded for this thing to happen. I never once wanted to use the position we had. Now, using all the powers they had, they called for a meeting. "Head master, this kind of childish squabbling shouldn't have been brought to you." Jinno-sensei said to him calmly.

"Childish you say. This childish affair that you are talking about almost cost the life of two students." When he said that, the teachers looked at each other. Obviously, they never really knew what was going on. "Perhaps, if you knew the truth, you would have made a move about it sooner. But you didn't know, I don't blame you. The girl you see here," he took a glance at me. "if you knew that this girl is the heir of the Yukihara corporations, I wonder what you could have done?" And the bomb was dropped. The tension that they were attempting to hide overflowed. They were murmuring, blaming each other.

Yukihara corporations was the sole partner of Hyuuga corp. It was true that Hyuuga was on the top of all others, but beside the name Hyuuga, Yukihara would always be there. Not above, not below, it was beside. Since child, I have been using my mother's name. I wasn't exposed to the world in order to protect me. Even my mom wouldn't go near the Yukihara zone in order to hide me. It was the plan all along. I was an only child, I was the only heir. In order for me not to be exposed to dangers, they plotted this little act. But Hotaru, she knew about it. Only her. What could I hide from her?

"I wonder if you have been treating those 'normal' students like this?" That statement made them silent again.

Uncle was a really scary man when it comes to serious matters. His voice was powerful, his presence was so intimidating. It was like, we were all standing before the king.

::::::::::

My heart was pounding as me and Natsume were nearing the class room. Hotaru took off to somewhere and made us go first. She said she wouldn't be long, that she was just going to check on some things but be back in a blink of an eye. I was hesitant to let her go, but her stubbornness made it impossible for me to go with her. Right after Hotaru left, I went to change my wet uniform at the girl's locker room.

The head master issued a request to the faculty to keep what they heard in that little meeting hidden in the dark. No, it wasn't a request. It was a threat --- an order. That uncle of mine, he used his position again to threaten other people.

I stopped my tracks just before I reached the door. I looked at Natsume, looking for support. "By the way," I said as I remembered how things went inside the head master's office. "You're not shocked about me?"

He flicked my forehead and smugly said, "Who do you think I am? I knew it all along."

Seeing him like that made me chuckle. "Prideful brat." That one scene with him made the heaviness on my shoulders gone. I always wondered what magic he was using all these times that he would lift the weights off of me.

I took a deep breath. Inside that very class room, no one knew the truth. They were still the same bunch of people who was hating me more and more. I opened the door and was almost suffocated to feel the tensed atmosphere inside. My eyes scanned the room. Some of them were standing, some were sitting with tense. At the very center of the room, Luna and Ruka was standing. I couldn't quite catch what happened while I was gone.

To my surprise, Luna's eyes landed on me and in a flash, she slapped me so hard. She came to me so fast I couldn't even manage to avoid her rage. Gasps filled the room. "Are you freakin' happy now?!" She hissed.

I looked at her blankly. What could she be talking about? I felt my cheeks with my palms, it was stinging. "You already stole Ruka from me! HE BROKE UP WITH ME!" My heart was pounding as I was looking at her. Her eyes were angry and jealous. The look on her face was the scariest I have ever seen yet. I was afraid when I fell on the water. I was afraid I would die. I got scared at the thought of losing my friends. But her gaze… it was wounding me. She was looking at me with strong rejection.

"I… I don't…" I stuttered, I didn't know what to say. I didn't even have the slightest idea about what was going on before I came.

"SHUT UP! YOU SLUT!" And she jumped on me. I lost my balance and felt my sides banged at the edge of the tables and chairs. The clattering was unpleasant to the ears. What made me numb was when my head hit the floor so hard.

My eyes were closed as I was lying on the ground. I could hear screams around me. Luna's sharp nails was digging deep my skin. Her weight on my stomach was taking my breath away. She was slapping me, pulling my hair. I could only stupidly close my eyes. The feel on my arms and face were stinging. She even punched me on my jaws which caused my nose to bleed, it only added to the dizziness that I was feeling.

The girls around me were screaming, curses was flying across the room.

"STOP HER! STOP HER!" Was what they were screaming.

"She's bleeding!"

And then, strong arms pulled me out of Luna's outbursts. I opened my eyes to see Natsume attempting to hide me behind him with one hand, the other was gripping on Luna's wrists. "YOU LITTLE WHORE!" Luna screamed so loud at me, it was almost deafening. "I am so fed up with you! Your innocent face was just an act! You even slept with other people's boyfriends! BITCH! You even attempted to kill an upperclassman at the swimming pool!" She continued to insult me, like there was no Natsume standing in between us.

I heard my classmates gasped as they looked at the door. I looked behind me only to see Hotaru standing there with a remote on her left hand. The look on her face showed shock as her eyes scrutinized me. Her eyes scanned me from head to toe, and then she looked at Luna.

Natsume let go of Luna's wrist and pulled me a few steps back, making Luna stand at the very middle of the only space inside the room. I was so tired and weak to talk, to stop Hotaru's reaction. She was my best friend, and I have seen her ruined those who stood up against her.

Everyone was silent, until Ruka stood in between her and Luna. "Wait, Imai. Please, no, no, no… please." He just did what I wish I could do that very moment, to attempt and stop Hotaru. But his plea wasn't heard. Hotaru, being Hotaru, walked towards her, grabbed the one inch thick of book nearest to her, and smacked Luna on the face as hard as she could that it threw Luna off the floor. I even felt the impact of her smack.

No one could react on what she did, not even those who were friends with Luna. Because it was Hotaru Imai who did it. My head was so light. "Hotaru…" It took me almost forever to gather up all the strength I could muster to talk. But the strength left in me wasn't enough, it only made me whisper.

"YOU DARED HIT HER?!" She raised her voice against the stunned Luna. She took a deep breath, with her teeth gritting, she said, "I am NOT as kind as her to be silent about this." When I first met Luna, I always thought that she had a superiority aura around her. But seeing her sit under Hotaru's gaze, she couldn't even be compared. My best friend sucked all the superiority she was emitting. Even I was intimidated by her presence at that moment. This had always been happening ever since we were kids. Whenever someone would hurt me, she would stand up and fight. Maybe that was the reason why I didn't want her to see me cry.

"I was kind enough to let her handle things her own way, but I have reached my limits. You, Koizumi, have no idea who you're dealing with." She continued.

I heard a snicker beside me. In that kind of situation, there would only be one who would bear to even laugh about what was happening, and it was her cousin --- Natsume Hyuuga. I rolled my eyes and leaned my forehead to his chest. "Natsume." I tried to stop him.

"YOU!" It seemed like Luna got her composure back as she stood up proud and straight again. "Do you know who I am?!"

"Do YOU know who I am?" Hotaru smirked. I closed my eyes, I never wanted to see her like that.

The shocked gasps of my classmates and their murmurings made me open my eyes again. The monitor in our room, which was connected to all the broadcasting monitor around the academy, played a video I have never seen before. It was like a documentary, a compilations of different videos of Luna secretly taken. Some of it were from the security camera, some were taken in person.

The videos were that of what I didn't know of. I was so horrified. It showed how Luna paid those who started hunting me. It showed how she threatened those boys to break up with their girlfriends and say that they were in love with me.

At the very end of the video showed the scene at the swimming pool, how Wakako and her friends pushed me at the pool. Later on, it showed what really happened at the time when Luna announced that I hurt her, how she scraped her own knees. The scene when she revealed to me what she thought about Ruka was repeated over and over, _'I had so many plans. So many plans! He was dancing around me. Worshipping me! He was ready to give me the world. But you ruined it! That idiot strayed his look away from me!'_

"What?" I heard Ruka's shocked words as he was watching the video. It was then followed by whisperings. But the deafening scream that came from Luna's mouth covered all of it. Her voice was so sad in my ears. It was so painful to hear her cries. Then, her balance was thrown off.

She sat still and quiet on the floor. She was like a porcelain doll sitting lifeless… I wanted to touch her, to hug her. As she was sitting before me with her shoulders slumped, a thought came across my mind. She must have really wanted to have a friend in reality. She must have really loved Ruka, but couldn't express it properly. I wasn't sure what it really was, but I was sure I felt her sadness. She must be thinking that everything she had was just taken away from her. And it was so sad that she must have been thinking that it was me who took it all away.

As silent as she could, she stood up. Her eyes till fixed on the ground. Everyone was silent, every eyes was watching her every move. She walked slowly towards me and whispered, "We're not yet through." Then, she walked out of the door.

I shut my eyes tight. Luna… what more could possibly happen between us? In Hotaru's one attempt, she revealed everything and took away Luna's clean clothing… I leaned on Natsume, who was still holding me, feeling so heavy. I wasn't a bit happy even after the proof of my innocence. Sure, the bullying would stop. My name was cleansed. But knowing that Luna would have a hard time from here on wasn't so pleasant in my mind.

Inside my head, a question was screaming… 'How could this happen?'


	10. Chapter 10

**I really had a hard time on this one since my hands were shaking so bad. Everytime i thought i was pushing 'y' the screen would show me 't'. But don't worry about it, it was all just becasue of hunger. .)**

**wooh! thanks for those who read and reviewed ch. 9. hope you'll also tell me what you think about this one.**

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Everywhere I looked, all I could see was white; the walls, the tiles, the ceilings and doors, and the uniforms of nurses and doctors pacing back and forth the hallway. The sounds surrounding me were mixing, from the rolls of the wheels of the stretcher, the call of the broadcasting speakers, up to the whisperings of people chatting. I slouched back from my seat. I was sitting at the chairs located at that hallway, just outside room number 304.

I closed my eyes. I have been idling at that very chair for quite some time now. For a millionth of time, I was scared. Behind those closed door of that room, Kaname-senpai is resting. Nobody knew how he was, and so the very next day, I decided that I would come and know personally. Some thirty minutes ago, I asked the nurse in charge how he was. She said that when he was brought here, he was in critical condition for an hour or so. With a sigh and a small smile, she said that it was a good thing that his condition stabilized. And now, he just needed a very good rest.

I brushed my fingers against my hair. Truthfully, I didn't know how to face Kaname-senpai. The one of my closest seniors almost died, and it was all because of me. He even saw me in an awkward situation. Under those circumstances, I wondered what I would say… I wondered what expression I should wear. If he saw me sad, he would just be worried more. If I smiled for him, I guess it wouldn't be bad. But even I had some limitations; I couldn't smile thinking he almost died.

Two young girls by the age of ten caught my attention. They were holding hands as they walked together. I smiled at the sight, and then I remembered what happened earlier at the school's roof top. From morning until lunch time, Sumire had been avoiding me. She was there, but she wouldn't talk. I was in front of her, but she wouldn't look at me.

"Sumire…" I called out to her. I couldn't take it anymore. Just after the bullying stopped, it was followed by one of my friends holding a grudge against me. Sumire just ignored me.

Someone pat me on my shoulders. When I turned, it was Anna with her sad smile. "Mikan… it's because you did something hurting." I looked at her, completely confused.

"See?!" Sumire suddenly exploded. "She doesn't even know what she did!"

I was utterly speechless. Never before have I hated my own stupidity so much than this. Sumire approached me, frustrations evident in her face. "What do you take me for, huh?" She asked as she placed her hand against her hip. "Aren't we supposed to be friends?"

"We… we are!"

"Then, why?!" She raised her voice, much to my surprise. "Why didn't you let us stand by you? You snuck around the whole academy, completely leaving us behind. Is that what friends are supposed to do?"

I stared at the floor, as if it was the most interesting thing in the whole wide world at that time. I bit my lower lip, trying so hard not to shed tears. "Because… because I didn't want to bother you…"

"Mikan!" She yelled. "Whether you're such a bother or what not, that's up to us to decide!"

"She's right, Mikan…" Nonoko held my hand. "If I was in your situation, wouldn't you want to help me?"

They were right. For so many times, I have invited myself in their own businesses when I heard that they were having problems. They didn't specifically ask me to, but me and my nosiness did so anyway. And maybe, if back then, they hid and avoided everyone including me, I also might be hurt. I then understood what they were saying. Slowly, I nodded my head, but careful enough for my gaze not to leave the floor. "Sorry…"

Silence engulfed us, it was almost suffocating. In the corner of my eyes, I saw Sumire walked towards the roof top door. I shut my eyes tight, but my chest was even tighter. For the first time, I thought I would lose a friend. Even when Ruka didn't believe me back then, he still talked to me; and it was because of a third wheel that he had a doubt. But this time was completely different. It was nobody's fault but mine. I and my own stupidity just caused me my friends.

When I was sneaking around, I thought I was doing the right thing to not let them get involved. I thought that by doing that, I could keep them. Little did I know that the thing I thought was right would be the cause of them being hurt. If I knew then that it would turn out like this, I should have stayed by them.

I gripped the edge of my skirt. This was the price I had to pay. I thought I had to endure it.

I heard her stopped her tracks and heaved a heavy sigh. "What are you doing?" She asked. "You're 'it' today, you understand? Come on, I'm hungry." I suddenly looked up. Her eyebrow was arched, her eyes narrowing and her hand was placed at her hip. It was the usual smug Sumire, and she was inviting me. It was then that my tears came rolling down. "What?! Woah! Woah!" She panicked.

"Mikan!" Anna and Nonoko hugged me as they laugh. And then, Sumire wiped my tears.

"Just don't do it again, you hear?" I nodded.

Hotaru, who was with us since the beginning and was just watching, murmured "Stupid girls".

It was funny how we made up. We didn't even say, 'let's be friends again' nor said 'let's start over again' or something along the line. Our little misunderstandings ended with just an invitation to eat.

"Mikan?" The voice from the door woke me up from reminiscing. I almost forgot that I was at the hospital, visiting Kaname-senpai. Or more like, trying to visit. It was Tsubasa-senpai, of course he would be here. They were best friends. Nothing was surprising seeing him here, but still, I almost jumped off my seat in surprise. "Why are you sitting there?" He asked with full of concern. I wondered how Tsubasa-senpai reacted when Kaname-senpai was brought here.

I smiled at him shyly, it even got uncomfortable. I gripped my skirt. These past few days, I noticed that I have been doing this mannerism a lot when I would get nervous.

Tsubasa-senpai's laugh made me look at him straight. "What are you getting shy for?" He grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me inside Kaname-senpai's room.

"Wait! Senpai…!" I struggled and fought back his strength. I wasn't a bit prepared yet to face my saviour. The speech that I carefully composed inside my head flew out the window, and I didn't have the slightest idea yet how to face Kaname-senpai. To make it short, I was completely lost.

The familiar scent of Kaname-senpai slowly filled my nose. My eyes wandered around. The room was meant only for him, and it was so homey. At the right side of the room was a small living room, and it was his bed and the other machines at the left wing. No matter how many times I have already been here, I just couldn't get enough of it. Yes, this room was marked for Kaname-senpai. Every time he would be sent here, he would occupy this room.

"Mikan." Senpai's voice was as gentle as always and it just caught my attention. I stood up properly, but I still couldn't look at him. "What are you standing there for? Come here."

I couldn't bring myself to go near him. As still as I could possibly stand, I stood there. We were silent for a while.

Kaname-senpai sighed. "Are you sorry?"

I nodded.

"You want to make it up to me?"

I nodded again.

"Then come here and let me see your smile."

I looked at him. His gentle smile made it impossible for me to keep the tears any longer from falling. I walked towards him while crying so loud and buried my face on his lap. I cried so hard that the bed sheets have gotten wet. He asked me to smile, but I gave him the opposite. "Senpaaai…" He didn't say anything, but his warm hands caressed my hair that it was so comforting. For the very first time of the sixteen years of my life, I appreciated from the heart how blessed I was to have friends surround me.

As hard as I could, I stopped myself from crying and gave senpai a smile that he wanted.

Moments later, when I have already calmed down, Tsubasa-senpai asked me with a smile. "Did you think that he will hate you?"

I looked down. I didn't know if my looking at the floor was that funny that Tsubasa-senpai laughed so hard. "Who would be able to hate the one he's eyeing for?" With that said, Kaname-senpai flushed bright red and threw a pillow at him. Was that a private joke between the two of them? Because truthfully, I didn't quite get it.

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"Here." Natsume practically shoved me his camp bag which, by the way, weighed at least around five kilos.

It had been two days after the 'great revelation'. The memory was still fresh in our minds. People were still avoiding Luna Koizumi. So many students had been being wary of Hotaru Imai. As for me, much to my dismay, the teachers had been moving carefully whenever I was around, specifically Jinno-sensei. His ego must have been touched when in one day, he learned about my blood line and about the videos.

The whole school knew about those videos alright. I thought that Hotaru made it so only our class would see it, I was so wrong. She broadcasted it to the whole school, all at the same time. I thought she would at least have mercy on Luna, but she went all the way, further demoralizing the opponent. But Luna was a proud girl from the start. Even though the whole school turned against her, she kept coming with her head held up high. In my eyes, I thought she looked so cool.

If I say that we had been going on great inside the class room, I would be lying. I thought that people naturally get along right after a huge fight. At least, that was what I have been reading. Reality was much harsher than what it seemed, because inside class 1-B, we were still quite tensed. With that kind of atmosphere circulating around, Narumi-sensei, the most eccentric teacher, just came up with the idea of sea side camping.

"Natsume…you're so sly..!" I whined even though my hands were already hugging his bag. The seven day agreement was just extended. 'You slacked most of the time', was what the great Natsume Hyuuga said.

"Do I hear complaints?" He bent over and leaned his head so close on mine. I could almost feel his breath; I could even smell his hair. It was so… intoxicating. His simple gesture made my heart race to no end.

"Uh… no. Of course, not." I couldn't bear to look at his eyes. I was afraid that once I looked at him, I would completely lose all remaining sanity I had.

He smirked on my response and pat my head. "Good." When I first met him, I knew for sure that he wasn't the type of person who would come with this kind of class outing, which is why I was in the slave position in the first place. But I was so shocked to learn that he would be coming. For sure, he only came so he could give me a hard time.

"Come here. I'll help you with that." Ruka barged in the scene and tried to grab away the things I was holding. These past few days, these two had been clashing against each other like two sharp swords. Ruka was one to do so, I was used to it. But Natsume, the aloof cool guy, he never failed to surprise me.

"Hands off." Natsume barked.

My ears got prickly, my face was hot. These had been happening a lot, I noticed. And each and every damn time, it would be just about every little thing Natsume says or do. I looked bashfully at Natsume, not knowing what reaction I should have. He looked at me straight in the eye, and I was feeling a little uncomfortable, scared that someone might hear my heart beating loud and fast.

What he did next made me… uh… mortified. He looked at Ruka and just grabbed his camp bag from Ruka's grasps. "Not my things."

I bit my lower lip in embarrassment. What was I thinking? I just thought that he was being protective over me. I mentally slapped myself. Why in the hell would he be protective over me? He walked away snickering and I thought, 'He's having a good time humiliating me'.

Our school bus was designed like the interior of the train, where two benches were facing each other. It made it possible for me and the other guys to be seated closely. I was with Hotaru as usual, and the other three girls. We were all chatting about nonsense and stuffs when Koko, who was supposed to be sitting across us with the other guys, sat in front of us at the floor with his guitar on his hands.

"What? Are you courting someone there?" Kitsumene, his best friend, asked him. Hearing this one comment made the other boys react with 'oooooohhh's.

"Haha! Very funny." Koko snapped at him. I raised my eye brow; it looked like Kitsu just hit a nerve.

"Looks like you hit the nail in the head." I smiled at Kitsu as he just laughed off what I said.

"Mikan, why is it that you notice other people's business when you can't even figure out yours?" And that was Koko's comeback.

I raised both my hands in defeat. "Okay, okay."

"Anyway, it's getting boring here. Let's sing together!" He invited us. I looked out the window, waiting for them to start singing.

Koko strummed his guitar, playing the popular song at the time. In our class, no one wouldn't know about that song. Sumire cleared her throat, much to the other's delight. These two was definitely a duo of mood makers. " _How can I decide what's right? When you're clouding up my mind? I can't win your losing fight… all the time. "_ Sumire sang with all her might. The spectators clapped their hands and shouted, "Wooooohhh!!"

The girl from behind us joined and continued the second part. It was then that I realized that almost all of the others were looking at us. Slowly, I understood what Koko was trying to do. He was trying to re-make the connections among us classmates. He was trying to ease the divisions, the tensions. I smiled at his craziness. Who would have known that it would only need a guitar and a song to actually catch their attention?

"No one would?" Koko's voice made my mind back to reality again. "Aww, shucks. And it was also going nice."

"What's up?" I whispered to Anna.

"Sumire can't reach the high notes." She whispered back with a giggle.

"Excuse me! I am just letting the others have a chance!" Sumire defended herself way too much.

We laughed at her smugness, which added to the joy. " _How did we get here? When I used to know you so well. How did we get here? Well, I think I know… " _I joined their jamming, and so the others started to sing with me. I couldn't believe that just after that song, Koko made us sing nursery rhymes. Well, it was so funny it added fun to the long and boring travel.

I was laughing so hard at the 'Itsy Bitsy spider' song that Kitsumene revised when I noticed Natsume. He was looking at me with a small smile on his face. It was so small that one wouldn't notice, especially because his chin was leaning on his palm. The sight of him hiding his smile away from the world, made my heart almost fall. My face flushed and warm, my ears got a bit of ticklish, the back of my nape covered with goose bumps. 'What's wrong with me?'

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"Mikan, here, try this." Ruka picked a piece of vegetable and put it in my own plate. I timidly smiled at him, it was the only reaction I could wear at the moment.

"Polka, I want that meat." Natsume nudged me on my elbows. I sighed and served him the piece of meat that he wanted.

"Mikan, this is good. Here."

"Give me strawberries, Polka."

I shut my eyes tight in frustration. We were at the cabin already, having our barbecue outside the cold night. This trip was supposed to let us have some fun, but it was just giving me the opposite effect. To my right was Ruka, endlessly offering me food that he thought tasted good. Did it ever occur to him that his taste buds might be different to mine? We had a different tongue after all.

To my left was Natsume, unwaveringly giving me orders here and there. His orders were so…frustrating. Did he even have to make me offer him the bottle of water that was right in front of him? Or maybe he even wanted me to pick each end every single grain of rice and feed it to him. I felt like the three of us were tied by an invisible chain with Ruka following me around, and Natsume making me follow him.

Once again, I opened my eyes only to see the others watching us leisurely. This guys, I thought, they should have helped me escape those two ogres. But no, they were giggling and laughing non-stop at my own demise.

It was just eight in the evening, and I was already feeling so tired. I felt like a mother looking after her two three-year-old sons. I was sitting alone outside, breathing in some fresh air while singing a song when I saw Luna dash off the cabin.

Seeing her made me feel horrible. I got so carried away by the laughs and cheers that I almost forgot her. How was she? I wanted to talk to her, to make up with her. But what would I say? Could I tell her that I don't have any feelings for Ruka and reassure her? I couldn't, because right at that very moment, I didn't even know what I was feeling for him. How could I possibly reassure someone when even I couldn't reassure myself?

I was about to follow her even though I wasn't sure yet what to say, but Ruka appeared out of nowhere. "Hey, care for a walk?"

We were both silent for a while as we walked. "Sorry about earlier." He said out of the blue. I coiled my eyebrow, what was that for? "You know, I acted like a child craving for attention." I blinked my eyes and laughed. So, he was aware.

"Yeah. You were pretty out of it."

"But hey, I'm courting you. So, it can't be helped." He said nonchalantly.

"You are?" I asked stupidly. Honestly, I thought he was just picking a fight with Natsume again. Never have I imagined that he was… uh, courting me. It just never crossed my mind. "Uh… I…" I stuttered again. Why was it that every time Ruka would mention about his feelings, I would become utterly speechless?

"Kiss me." I almost jumped to hear Luna's voice. She was saying it again. Just a little more and I would have made it her famous line. She ordered Ruka to kiss her before too, so now, who would be the lucky guy she was talking to?

Ruka stopped his tracks, looking over where Luna was. His face was that of a shock, I guess he really did fall for Luna. I got so curious as to why he was looking at them too hard and so I followed his glance. When I took a peek, I guess he wasn't shocked because of Luna… I guess he was shocked to see who she was talking with.

It had gotten so silent in a flash. All I could hear of that very moment was the sound of the air and the waves of the ocean. My heart… it was just punched out of my chest. I found myself in struggle to breathe. My air pipes were just tightening by the second. I knew that back. I knew that poise. I would never be wrong. If ever we were lost in a crowd, I would know him just by a glance. It was him. The guy who was making me lose myself all these time. There, sitting on the large log of a fallen tree was Natsume. She was talking to Natsume. Luna was asking Natsume to kiss her.

I gulped unknowingly. "Scram." Natsume was obviously irritated from the way he talked. I wondered how Luna would proceed, but the other side of me was scared. I didn't want to know what was going to happen next, but my feet were fixed on the ground like it was just cemented right then and there. She was the type of girl who would do anything just to get what she wanted. The past week proved that. Her words to me during the 'revelation day' echoed inside my mind. '_We're not through yet'._

I saw Luna glanced at me. All these time, whenever she does that, there would always be 'something' next. And all these time, that 'something' would always be the most unexpected thing. "Are you in love with Sakura?" Luna asked him without leaving her eyes on me. I felt my heart again, this time because of it beating so fast. What would Natsume say?

"…" The silence was making my heart beat a little faster. It was like when I was watching a suspense movie and the heroin is waiting for the murderer to appear. I felt like my insides were hanging in the air with a thin thread ready to snap any given moment.

"…no." His answer instantly drained my life away. The thin thread snapped and made my insides fall.

Luna satisfyingly smiled at me, and then slowly, she bent and inched her head towards Natsume's.

I wasn't strong enough. I thought I could handle it, but I was wrong. And so, as fast as I could, I ran away…

The sound of the waves was deafening. The almost violent air embraced me. I used to be soothed by the night's cold air, but it seemed like this night was an exception. "Mikan…" Ruka's voice made me look back. I smiled bitterly, I almost forgot that I was with him.

My heart was heavy, but it was still beating so fast so hard that it hurts. Yes, I was hurt. And I finally know now why… Every encounter with Natsume Hyuuga flashed before my eyes. Every heart beat, every embarrassing moment, every gentleness, and every smile… They were all screaming 'I love you'.

I closed my eyes tight. Why did it have to take a single 'no' before I could possibly realize my own feelings?

I forced to breathe in, but even breathing was painful. "You know…" I said despite the trembling of my jaws. I was looking up, but my eyes couldn't see the beauty of the sky. "I used to love you…" I said with a laugh. Hearing myself say those words to Ruka confirmed and eased the confusion in my mind.

My plan was to laugh it off and pretend that I was okay. Because I thought that by doing so, it would make all the pain melt away. Sadly, my eyes were a real traitor…

Ruka grabbed me in my shoulders and hugged me tight. As if it would ease my pain away… I chuckled. "I'm fine…" But even my voice betrayed me. I tried to say it again, this time without my voice trembling. But the more I repeated it, the more it sounded so fake in my ears. It sounded like it wasn't for Ruka, like it was really meant for me.

I cried as much as I could while wishing that in every single drop of tears, all of the pain and heaviness in my heart would leave me all alone. It was painful enough to know that someone you love couldn't give you the love back, but hearing him say the actual words was killing.

I couldn't feel my body, and my knees gave up like the world just fell over me. But no, as I was crying my heart out, the waves of the ocean was burying all of my screams, hiding it from the world. As I was crying my heart out, the world continued to move on. Hotaru might even be eating at the time; the others might be doing their own things. Even as I cried, the sky was just looking down on me.

For the rest of the world, it was just a tiny matter. But to me... it was almost worth my life.

I tried so hard not to cry. I tried so hard not to lose myself, but I failed miserably. Under Ruka's arms, I cried as loud as my pain. I wish I didn't leave the cabin. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't stupidly go out. Or if it was unavoidable, I wouldn't go anywhere near Luna. I would give up anything, anything, just not to hear Natsume's rejection. Because it was so painful… so painful and bitterly stupid, that before I could have even realized my own feeling, I was already rejected.

I love him... I love Natsume Hyuuga. But before it even rubbed on me, the fate already moved and said, 'Don't even think about it'.

-

-

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**the end...**

**of Mikan's point of view. haha.**

**the next chap would be Natsume's story, so please be patient. i still have to set my mind on how the great 'black cat' thinks.**

**Please make a feedback and continue to read! thanks a lot! mwuah!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I personally find Natsume's way of thinking so boring. haha. and i had a hard time writing this one...**

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"Cut it out."

"Ack! Give that to me!"

I buried my head deeper under the pillow.

"No! Imai!"

"She stole a shot!"

"Aaaahh!"

Shit. Shit. Shit!

I violently sat up straight on the bed. My sight was still blurred, and the sun light was so damn hurting in my eyes. Those people! Could they actually scream and shout any louder than that? For goodness' sake. There were some other people who were still sleeping.

"Kyaaaaaaa!" And a loud scream just banged open the door of my left ear and took an exit to my right ear. I shut my eyes tight and scratched the back of my head. I have always hated mornings. But most of all, this was the reason why I never went to any of these damned class trip. That's right. We went on a seaside camp, no thanks to that bastard gay of a teacher. But no, the blame was all mine. If I weren't so stupid enough to actually come here, then I wouldn't have a problem. Damn.

I stood up and went to shower. Anywhere was fine, anywhere! I just needed some quiet place for me to continue my sleep. Because honestly speaking, the noise was getting on my nerves.

I stormed out of my room and went out. On the way to the lounge, those damned girls were gawking at me. They were screaming so loud I thought my ears was going to bleed! "Natsume-sama! Natsume-sama!" What the hell?! Sama? Seriously. What could be going on in their puny little minds? I mean, gawking at people?! And it wasn't like it was the first time they saw me. For god's sake, they could practically see me almost everyday... if I wouldn't be cutting class, that is.

The sight of the familiar back made me stop my tracks. That long brown hair, even though she tied it with a ribbon at the bottom, I could still tell it was her. She was helping with the kitchen even though her cooking sucks. Oh, of course I knew. She was the one in charge of my lunch. I bet she was there just so she could have a taste on the chef's cooking. I found a seat near the kitchen door where I could take a peek of what was inside.

Seeing her like that made me remember how I first got to know her. I laughed inside my head. Damn this girl...

I had a fight with a teacher in my old school. That bastard framed me up and accused me of cheating. All because I corrected his crap teachings from before. "You think you're that smart? Huh? You're just one pathetic brat who thinks he knows it all!" That was what he said. Never, and I meant never, had I been talked to like that. Me, the infamous sole heir of Hyuuga corporations, was just talked to like some kind of a trash. I also have never, not even once, tried to control my temper. With the full strength I had, I swished my arm and punched him straight to his jaws.

I could still remember that the faculty made such a fuss. The family's secretary made it so the school wouldn't inform the press. Actually, that stupid secretary threatened the school to close down. It was a good laugh seeing how the principal reacted. He was yelling at the bastard teacher's face, "Who do you think you were messing with, huh?! You FRAMED him up with cheating?! Are you out of your mind?!"

But that wasn't enough. I wanted to make them feel that they were under my mercy. "Don't mind. This filthy thing that you call 'school' here is not even worth the effort. I'll close it down whenever I feel like it. Or when I remember." And so, I transferred schools.

My day was just so damned, and that was when she appeared. The very first time I saw her, she revealed to me two things: first, she was on the process of mending her broken heart; second, even at her age, she was still stupidly wearing polka-dotted panties.

It was kind of perverted, but seeing her underwear under those circumstances made me almost laugh. That cursed underwear just made my load light. Yes, it was perverted. Whatever.

That very same day, or should I say night, I saw her again. I was roaming around the city with my motorbike and saw that northern park where no one comes. For a person like me who doesn't want any disturbances, it felt like it was my fortress there. More specially because of the peacefullness the forest of cherry blossoms gave. I was sleeping, and I meant really sleeping under the tree, when someone shook me so hard. I opened my eyes, only to reveal big brown eyes to me. She was the polka-pantie-girl, how could I forget her? And by the looks of it, she was panicking.

She followed me around even after I walked away. And shit, she looked like a lost dog. I felt so irritated, seeing how she continued to tail me. But her sudden outburst made my mind go blank. She cried in front of me. That was the very first time in my life that I saw someone cried so painfully. I guess she was crying over the jerk she was talking about. But what made me completely... utterly speechless, was her runny nose. Damn! How old was she, fifteen, sixteen? And she cried like how a baby would! I mean, come on! Even my three-year-old brother could cry more beautiful than that!

That girl had been running around my mind the whole time. It wasn't like I fell for her or something. But that crying face really bugged the hell out of me, all the same time irritating me. Did the world fell on her? It was as if someone just died on her. Well, whatever, it wasn't like I was ever gonna see her again.

And that was where I was so damned wrong. Damn. I saw her again. She was my classmate. She became my seat mate. She became my partner.

Her very name, Mikan Sakura, shocked me too. Because that name, that was the name of my parent's friends daughter. The one in the picture that my mom would always proudly show me when I was four years old and there still weren't Aoi around. Her family was our sole partner, and by time, she would also be my partner in business. Dammit. She was there from my childhood, and she was already even calculated in my future. Damn.

That very same day, I personally saw how stupid she was. For the love of Christ, she mistook me for some ghost. She came on her own under my Sakura tree, and when she heard my voice, she assumed that I was a ghost. Even Aoi would never make a mistake like that, and she was just ten. What's more, when I called her polka, she corrected me. She fuckin corrected me! "For your information, it's not polka dots today, it's strawberries!"

I was caught off-guard. Damn! This girl made me speechless...again. I noticed it right away, she was invading my mind. I had to be careful, that was what I thought. I could never, never ever, let someone into my life. But hell... even with that kind of thinking... she still managed to squeeze herself in while I was just stupidly watching.

Her giggles woke me up from remembering. I totally forgot that I was currently sitting near the kitchen door. I even forgot that I stormed out my own room to find a quiet place. I hate this. I absolutey, completely hate this. Damn her. Damn Mikan Sakura. Why does she always make me lose my cool? I don't get it.

I frustratedly messed my hair and walked out of that place.

::::::::::

"Kaname-senpai?" I heard Polka's voice. She was talking over the phone, and hearing the guy's name made me feel so damned uncomfortable.

I felt my eyes twitched. I was up the tree, trying to hide from those creep girls who were following me and cursing them to death inside my head, when she appeared out of nowhere and stood under that very tree.

Kaname Sono, her stupid band's manager. Of course I knew, he was there at Phoenix when I first heard Polka sing. This brat, was she really that dense or she just really didn't notice? I'm a guy, so obviously, I know how other guys think. That Kaname for sure wasn't looking at her with just brotherly eyes. He even saved her from drowning. Damn. He should have just stayed under water. I felt so frustrated even just by thinking about it.

"Narumi-sensei was asking if we could help him out for some entertainment." She continued.

Talk about entertainment. Let that Andou and Kaname go here and let me embarrass them. That would be entertainment. Speaking of Andou, I knew the fact that she was just like a little sister to him. But damn, why did he have to be so damn clingy and touchy feely? He would hug her almost every damn day. How damned could he be? And Polka would tell me I was the pervert. Tch. She was even the one who showed me her panty.

I almost snapped the little branch of tree that I was holding on to when I saw her smiling stupidly. Even in the phone, she could smile brightly. That was when I wondered, does she always give away her smile to everyone and anyone like that? Why did she have to be so damn equally nice to everyone? And what the heck --- why was I even jealous?

"Thanks a lot, senpai! I'll see you later then!" She said excitedly and she hung up.

Later? They would be here later? Great. Just great. I wondered where that gay teacher was so I could strangle him to death. Seriously, entertainment? I unconsciously groaned out loud. Great. The feeling of sneaking on other people's conversation made me feel like I was some stalker.

Polka looked at me with her big round eyes, obviously shocked. "Natsume! Where you there the whole time?"

That was the stupidest question I have yet to hear. "Did you see me climb up here while you were there guarding the whole time?" I asked her. Everytime, every damn time when she would ask me a question, I was always obliged to answer.

"Oh."

That was where I hinted that something was wrong. I immediately jumped down from my coziness even though usually, I would never leave my comfort zone. Why? I just don't fuckin' know. This brat here would just always, always, force me to do things I don't usually do. Never have I even smiled before, but she practically shoved a smile on me. Shit. I was getting cheesy.

I had a good look on her, and I was right. Something really was wrong. She had been crying again. Every time I see her like that, I would unbelievably feel helpless. Specially if she would cry over some other guys... Thinking that it might be Nogi who she was crying for, my chest felt a pang. It was like, she pricked me with a needle or something right at my lungs.

I had power on my hands, there were more than seven hundred thousand of people who was working for me, I could get whatever I wanted, but I couldn't stop her tears from falling. I couldn't help myself but just stare at her. It was such a good thing that I was brought up with a good training on not letting emotions show in my face.

But help me god, no matter how trained I was, no matter how good I was at hiding myself, she would always force feelings inside of me out. Feelings I didn't even know I had. "You're uglier when you cry." I mentally slapped my self on what I said. I wanted to ask her why she was crying, but words always end up a bit... different. Whenever I wanted to praise her, I would always end up insulting her. How pathetic could I be?

"Who said I cried? I was... helping at the kitchen. And, the onions! Yes! That's right! Onions!" She practically searched for words that would make up her excuse. It was such a terrible lie that even a child would see through it. Why didn't she want to tell me? Was I considered an outsider? I didn't want to think about it. Because I knew that if I do, I would just feel the need to breathe due to my lungs tightening.

I cocked my eye brow. Do this girl realize who she was talking to? Did she think she could fool me? Think again, Sakura.

She avoided my eyes with a nervous laugh. "Then... later!" And she scrammed.

"Such a bad liar." I murmured as I was looking at her retreating figure.

That night was so damned disastrous, at least for me. Polka just dragged me into their group, as usual, who would do that except her? God, I thought I was going to die when I was seated in front of that blabbing machine girl with permed hair. What was her name again? Suki? Soma...? Something with S. All those topics that they have talked to all came from her mouth. I mean, she was like a pig who needed to gobble up all the words! More than that, she was so talkative like a machine gun. Ratatatatatatatata!

I looked at Polka who was sitting beside me. Even she, I could tell, couldn't catch up with what that girl was talking about. She even made her self busy with playing with her food. The two other girls were just giggling non-stop, I bet they just picked up drops of words they would hear from her and just comment about that. Imai, my blackmailer of a cousin, what could be more interesting to her but her money?

I felt a pat behind me, behold, there was Yome. "Man. She's quite a talker, huh?" He whispered to me. I didn't comment on that, but I couldn't help but smirk. I thought I was the only one who thought that way. But it seemed like every other boys thought the same.

"Anyway, who do you think among those girls are such a hottie?" Mochu asked. Among the boys, I guess he was the abnormal one. I mean, who could be compared to him when it comes to crazy ideas? I remembered that they even had a dare one time on who could steal Narumi's underwear. Gah! It was so disgusting even just by hearing it. What more if I actually saw them do that? Thinking what that gay teacher's underwear would look like made my body covered with goose bumps. Gross.

"It's definitely Nonoko. I mean, she moves so elegantly." Kitsumene explained with a hand on his chest and a dreamy face. These guys. Who knew that behind those faces are brains that thought of girls? But damn, hearing them talk like that made me feel like I was surrounded by girls.

This was the very first guy talk I ever had, and it was all due to Polka pestering me. If I were left alone, I would never have even bothered to listen to their stories and craziness. Besides, my tongue was naturally sharp and the people around me couldn't take it. But this lot, I didn't even know if I should be relieved or what, all the comments I would make, even the rude ones, they think of it as cool and would just laugh it off.

I sort of instantly got a troop following me.

Everyone got differently excited when that Kaname and Andou came in. Almost all the girls practically swung their heads and turned to look at them. The boys on the other hand, they were so out of it when that violent girl came. Seriously, they had the hots over that violent woman? I would never even look at her that way. Come on, who would know what sort of wrestling move she will do next?

I snapped from daydreaming when Polka's loud high-pitched voice rung. "Senpai!" And she ran away and clung to Andou's arm. She was even laughing with so much carefreeness. That brat was too absorbed she didn't even notice Kaname looked at her with those...eyes! Damn. I was so frustrated. Why did he have to be released to the hospital immediately? He should have stayed there forever.

I sent a death glare to Andou, and it looked like he wasn't stupid enough not to understand what it meant. With a sweat drop and a nervous laugh, he said, "Mikan... uh... we should... set the eq-equipment... right?" That violent girl laughed so hard to that Andou's stuttering.

The brat let go of him and smiled. "Yeah. Anyway, Narumi-sensei is there. I think he would like to talk to you guys first." It was just then that I felt a little satisfied.

"Oh? I'll do the talking." Kaname crossed.

"Where's our mixer?" The violent girl asked as she looked around.

Yuu, who was sitting with me raised up his hand. "Yes?" when he did that, the other boys looked at him with 'yeah, right' eyes. I smirked. Yuu's aura definitely didn't have a hint of mixer in it.

When the show started, they were even more apalled to see Mikan stand at the stage. Anyway, I didn't even have the slightest interest to see their reactions. I was watching her sing, watching her every move. Maybe I would be called a weird pervert, but every detail about her would just always catch my eye. It was like, everywhere I looked, it was her I could see. I even thought that maybe, my eyes had its own mind and knew where to look.

She smiled as she was singing. Damn. I was taken aback. I closed my eyes and sighed in frustration. In my mind, I was screaming, 'This won't do!'. I told myself so many times that I should be careful around her. But why, damn why? Why did she have to appear in my life? Why did she have to be a Yukihara?

I stepped out of that place, my mood completely ruined. I knew... I knew that it wasn't her fault. It was all mine.

Last night, when some girl who used to be Nogi's girl asked me if I was in love with Polka, I didn't know what to answer. Truthfully speaking, I wasn't even sure why I was so attracted to Polka, like a magnet. I wasn't even sure why, in every damn way, I would constantly involve my self with her. I told her 'no', that I wasn't in love with Polka. Was that answer even meant for her? Because it sure sounded like it was me kidding myself...

Mikan had a bright smile. She would laugh things off even when she was already burdened. If she wanted to cry, she would go to were no one could see her. And even if she cried painfully, with her snot running out of her nose, she would still think about her friends who would be worried about her. She was too damn stupid, and she was too damn nice.

No, it wasn't her fault. It was all me who would constantly be swayed even by her slightest antics.

"Natsume Hyuuga." A voice from behind me almost startled me. It was Kaname with a smile on his face. I couldn't even tell if it was a fake or not and I wasn't a bit happy to see him. In fact, he just ruined my mood all the more. "So, you're the infamous Natsume that I have been hearing about."

I looked at him sternly as he stood beside me and leaned on the porch. I didn't want to listen to him, and I was about to walk away when he said, "I heard about you and Mikan from Misaki and Tsubasa." That was where he caught my attention.

He laughed satisfyingly, and so I glared at him and cocked my eyebrow. "Don't worry. I'm not even going to compete." He said with a smile, but his eyes were looking far away. I heard that he was the one who had a weak body. I guess even he knew about his own limitations.

"Compete? Is there some kind of a competition?" I asked him coldly, but he just laughed.

He then started to walk back inside, but stopped middle way. "But... I might start to move when I see her crying because of you."

I was left speechless. To cry because of me...

My eyes instantly focused on her as she was singing. She looked like she was really enjoying it. It was then that I thought... would I be able to take it if it would be because of me that her smile would falter? No... I couldn't fall for her. Not someone like me. Not me who might corrupt her. I was a brat. A selfish man in nature. I would make rude comments on anything that I see. I wasn't taught how to convey my feelings properly. I always snarl at her, I even made her work under slave contract. Someone like Mikan Sakura, is just way too out of my league, that was what I thought.

Someone like her who would smile brightly, shouldn't be with someone like me that was full of jealousy. Even in my mind, I was already monopolizing her. Chaining her. Not wanting anyone else to see her, to touch her.

I saw her look at me, and she was a bit surprised. "Oh? Natsume! What are you doing out there? Come here!" She invited me with a smile.

A smile that I always wanted to see.

I sighed when I realized something.

"I couldn't fall for her?"

What was I thinking...? No matter how I denied, no matter how I tried to avoid it... It was already too late.

I already fell...

-

-

-

**this was so hard...! gosh...**

**i even had a hard time thinking how Natsume Hyuuga sees the things around him.**

**wooh! a guy with a complicated mind, but also simple-minded when it comes to Mikan.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Woah.. at least i was able to grasp him even a little. haha**_._

::::::::::

_Someone was crying. Who was it? I couldn't tell just by the hiccups. I stood up from my bed, silently listening to the still crying child. As silent as I could, I walked out of my room, trying to follow where the sound was coming from. Even though the floor was cold in my bare feet, I just couldnt' help but wonder who was crying in the middle of the night._

_The doors creaked as I opened my own door. It was so dark that night, but I was used to it. I even prefer darkness than the blinding day light. I listened carefully, and as I followed it, I found myself in front of two big doors of a room that no one has ever used before. The light was even turned on inside. The crying got only louder, and this time, I figured out that it was a child's cry. Slowly, I opened the door and took a peek._

"_What did you think you were doing, bringing that child here?" It was the voice of my President Hyuuga. Yes, he was my father. But he never wanted me to call him that. In our relationship, I was the Heir and he was President. He was talking to a woman who was carrying a crying child in her arms_

"_Please... I can't raise this child... Please have mercy on him." The mother was crying her heart out and begging. She was even down on her knees while clutching tightly on the child._

_President Hyuuga lifted up his arm, ready to strike. The mother then covered her son with her own body in fear of the upcoming strike. I was about to barge in and stop hid madness when I saw my own mom hugged the other mother screaming, "Stop! Stop! I'll deal with this. You can leave!"_

_It was the very first time that I saw President Hyuuga so pissed off about something. He walked away irritatingly using the other door._

"_What's his name?" My mom asked._

"_Youichi..."_

I violently sat up straight on my own bed. It was that dream again. It had been two years since then, but it sure felt like it just happened yesterday. Remembering it now, I wondered what those two idiots were doing back at the main house. I stood up and opened the curtain. It was still dark outside, and the city light was refreshing. Seeing it from up here, everything looked so small. A person's problem wouldn't even affect the other.

The ringing of the phone almost made me jump. It was one in the morning, who could have dared to call me? "What?" I asked as I picked it up.

"Onii-chan..." It was Aoi's voice, and by the sound of it, she was crying. My ears perked up, and my blood rushed here and there inside my veins. It was the time that I felt so awake.

"What's the problem?" I asked. Aoi was the type of person who wouldn't normally cry. If she would, then it would probably be about something big.

"Onii-chan, dad... dad locked You-chan in his room! He had been inside since yesterday, and... and... no one could give him anything to eat...!"

I felt goose bumps covered my entire body. Shit, shit, shit! It was happening again. He was the stupid one to go around and screw some girl, he was the one who made Youichi, and now he was mistreating him! I heard Aoi cried over the phone, and it wasn't the time for me to be listening to her cries. I immediately turned the lights on, changed my clothes and grabbed my car keys. At first, I thought I was going to bring the motorbike, but I had a thought that I might need to bring the two kids with me.

The drive was so slow and it was so frustrating. It felt like in my every turn, I would always hit a stop light. Damn! If Youichi was in there since last night, then he hasn't eaten anything nor even drink for a whole day. I punched the wheel in front of me so many times.

"Shit! Shit!"

It took me the best of an hour before I arrived to the main house. "Tch." I was so pissed that I came barging in from the front door. The maids were all too surprised that I came there in the middle of the night. I was on my way to Youichi's room when the butler, Sebastian, came to me running. "Why isn't anyone here giving a damn?" I hissed.

"Sir, we can't do anything against President's will. I have even been asking him to open the doors. Or at least bring Sir Youichi some food." He said with his head bowed down while we walk.

"Give me the keys."

"Ah, yes. Here, sir." He gave it to me. The maids were already in panic when I got to Youichi's room. It turned out that even my mom was sitting right in front of the door. I eyed her and saw how ragged she was. Her eyes were even red and swollen, and I assumed it was from crying. Of course, even mom couldn't do anything about that bastard. She was, after all, slowly became a prisoner in the house. Aoi was sitting beside her, attending to her.

"Aoi, pack your things." She just looked at me questioningly, and I haven't got the time to sit idly. "Now." And that was when she immediately stood up and ran to her room with her two nurses.

Mom looked at me, her eyes begging. "Natsume... take him, please." Her tears rolled down once again. I felt my chest tighten in the scene before me. Damn. Damn. Damn. "Get up from there." I firmly ordered her and she obliged.

As fast as I could, I inserted the door and banged it open. The lights were turned off, and the curtains were down. Someone turned the lights on, and I was guessing it must be either mom or Sebastian. I gulped, my hands were trembling as I saw the young life lying on the bed while hugging his one and only toy, the teddy bear that Aoi and mom hand made for him. I walked to him, fearfully controlling my rising anger. "Youichi." I called him.

Ever so slowly, he opened his eyes. "Nii-chan?"

I turned to Sebastian. "Pack his things." My eyes caught my mom's crying figure. She was covering her mouth as she cried silently. As I see their faces of fear and concern, I felt my insides getting so hot. I couldn't focus my eyes anymore, and even my jaws were trembling. "Take them to my car as soon as they're ready." And then, I walked heavily and quickly towards the study room while mom followed me. I knew that he will be there, of course he will. He was always there. Facing his damned computer and counting his fortune.

I kicked the door open that it made a really loud noise. He was there, standing behind his cursed desk. The spectacles in his eyes showed his crocked nose and his high cheekbone. Even in his night clothes, he was still working. He looked at me with curiosity, like he didn't know why I was there. "What's the matter?" He asked.

The blood inside me was boiling, I wanted to scream, to punch him. But no, I would lose if I do that. I heaved a heavy breathe, forcing the lump stucked in my throat to melt. "You can continue being so fuckin' stupid all you want. You can continue sitting in that damned chair until you fuckin' die. But never, never, hurt them again."

He slouched back at his seat. "Natsume, you seem to misunderstand something. I locked 'it' because 'it' made a mistake. Of course, as 'it's' father, I have to punish 'it'. And you very well know that I am working for my family."

"Bull...shit!" I slowly and cooly cursed. "When you die, let me see you take those paper of money with you." I hissed and turned to walk away. My mom was looking at the floor, not bothering to look up since, I knew, that she was crying.

I grabbed her wrist and stormed out of there. When I got out, the maids were crowding at the front door. They might be gossiping or what. Hell, I just couldn't care anymore. Let them gossip all they want about this pathetic little life. Aoi and Youichi were already seated at the back seat of my car. I turned to Sebastian. "Did you give him anything to eat?"

He bowed his head. "Yes, sir. I gave him something light so as not to upset his stomach."

After the long silence of driving, we arrived at my condo unit. Dubstruck was an understatement when I saw someone sitting on the floor at my front door. I knew her very well to not recognize her. It was her, Polka. That time, all I could think of was, 'what the heck is she dong here?!' It was like, pass four in the morning, and she was already sitting there while hugging one huge paper bag and another placed beside her.

She opened her eyes when she must have felt our presence. "Oh? You're here." Then, Youichi came to her and hugged her tight. She smiled at my brother's actions, and when he got enough of hugging her, she cupped his face. "Are you okay?"

I was confused. How did she know that there was something wrong? "Oi, how did you...? Why are you...?" Damn. I stuttered.

She looked up at me. "Ah. Aoi-chan called me."

I felt my ears pricked as I turned to my _dear, beloved sister._ She smiled nervously at me in return to my glare. "I... thought she would want to know."

The bags contained food supplies. She immediately stored it inside the fridge, I guess she really knew that I wouldn't have anything inside it except water. It was a good sight seeing how the three of them got along. Inside the main house, I never saw the two kids smile like that. Youichi was much livelier with her, and Aoi was comfortable with her. It was like, she was a part of our ragged family. Tch. Thinking that she was part of that 'family' was so damned disgusting. She should never be a part of something like that.

Seeing her like that... I felt so weird. I wanted to keep her. To hug her and never let her go. I wanted her to stay.

But her heart was beating for someone else... someone she have loved for a long time.

And damn.

It hurts.

::::::::::

"Uwaaahh... hot springs!" Polka inhaled the scent of that place. We ended up in a hot spring hotel, all because of Youichi's tantrums at her.

We were having a boring class as usual, and I was taking a 'nap' under my manga. But I couldn't even sleep at all feeling the every sway and move that Polka would make. I could even hear her damned scrabbling on the paper. Gasps filled the air, and I bet something came up. I was not on the mood to look, but Polka's nudge on me made me focus. "Natsume!" She whispered. "Natsume, it's You-chan and Aoi..."

Aoi and Youichi? What could they been doing here? I slowly placed the manga down on my desk. "Nii-chan! Sorry..." Aoi looked down and bowed her head. "It's because You-chan won't stop throwing tantrums. He said he wanted to see Nee-chan."

I looked at Youichi who just ignored me and climbed up to Mikan. All of our classmates, even the teacher were all just too apalled to even speak up. Honestly, these two brats were making a scene.

"Nee-chan, let's go on a trip." Youichi's request made my eyes twitched. Trip?

"E-eh? Trip... right now?" Polka stuttered. Who wouldn't when some brat suddenly walked in the room and asked her to go with him on a trip? We were even in the middle of the class.

Youichi nodded his head."Me, you, Aoi-nee, Natsume-nii." He further added.

Everyone was shocked, I couldn't blame them. Even I was shocked, too. Not that it showed. Man, what did he think this is? A family trip?

"Bu...but... just us... four?" She asked him. He nodded, much to her demise. I saw her head slowly turned at me.

I snickered in her obvious reaction. "What?" I leaned closer to her. "You think I'll do something to you?"

Her eyes widened when I said that. "No...! No! Of course not!" And she followed it with a nervous laugh, still not meeting my eyes.

"Pervert." I teased her more.

"No! Then, let's go on a trip, You-chan! Now!" Stupid. She was so easy to manipulate.

'Hah! Take that, Nogi.' I thought.

And now we are here on this onsen trip. It wasn't like I hated this, because truthfully, I preferred anything that was quiet. Polka was the one attending to the two kids, and I could completely relax... or so I thought. Seeing her in a Yukata was... uh... damn! It was... disturbing. And so, I had to avoid her.

Every time she was close, I thought my heart would burst out. It was so damn uncomfortable, fearing she might hear my puny little heart beat so loud. It was so puny... and yet it beats like a drum. Tch. What the hell? I was so damn pathetic. I even had the idea that she might think I was mad at her or something. And that wouldn't be good. Even Aoi was giving me the looks. Youichi would even ask me if I got mad at something.

"Nii-chan, are you avoiding Mikan-nee?" Aoi asked me as we were having our barbecue dinner. Polka was outside, burning the piece of meat with all her might. She was even enjoying turning it endlessly.

I glared at Aoi. Damn nosey brat.

"Because... I think Nee-chan was really worried. She was even spacing out earlier." She said with a low voice. Spacing out? Polka was? I glanced at her. Was I making her upset unintentionally? My chest tightened. I was upsetting her. Even though it wasn't on purpose, she was still upset by thinking that I was avoiding her.

I hear Aoi giggled softly. "Nii-chan. You look pathetic."

I reached out my hand and hit her head with my closed fist. "Brat."

My eyes naturally found Polka again. Why does seeing her hurts me? I wondered. While I was looking at her, I saw two guys approached her. Hah. That was some old school. I bet they were asking what time is it, or some damned directions, or what could possibly be the best thing here. I felt my blood rushed all the way up to my head when I saw a guy leaned closer to her. I immediately stood up and barged in to the scene.

"Oi. Isn't it done yet?" I called out to her while giving death glares to those punks.

She turned her head and shyly smiled. "It's almost done."

"Mama." That was my most favorite part. Damn! It almost made me laugh to see those damned punks' reactions when Youichi hugged her foot.

"Ah? What's the matter?" Polka kneeled down to face him eye to eye.

"Nothing much." And he secretly stuck out his tongue to the two guys who was bothering his 'mom'. I snickered on that brat's lousy acting. He was definitely my brother. Good timing and good alibi.

::::::::::

Everything was quiet. The sound of the trees swayed by the wind and the chirpings of the insects made me feel the nature so much. It was such a nice feeling. I looked up and saw the stars. This was why I loved the night. In the darkness, the stars and the moon would shine brightly, showing people the right way. If my life was the night, then maybe Mikan was the moon with a constant full face. My life was just too damned boring, too gloomy. The only reason why I wanted to survive was to see those two kids grow up.

In that damned life, she appeared middleway. Every day, I would find myself in constant struggle to find out what she will do next. At first, I honestly thought she was so troublesome. A natural danger zone. But even though I regarded her as a nuisance, she would always smile. Even after her cries, she would smile next. Slowly, I saw her true self. There wasn't a bit of pretense in her. Not a single lie.

Who would have known that I would fall for her? I didn't even know when it started. My eyes would just naturally follow her wherever she goes or whatever she would do. I was always dragged in her business. I thought that I would be careful around her. But she was like a tornado. Even though I firmly held on the ground, he still somehow managed to pull me. All those times when I would think of her, I would thought of her stupidity and silliness. Before I knew it... I was already aching to hold her.

But I knew better than to even want her. Because even at our very first meeting, I already knew who her heart was longing for. I closed my eyes tight. My chest was hurting. I couldn't breathe well. It was like something inside me was about to explode, but couldn't. Come to think of it, maybe she also felt this way towards Nogi. I laughed in irony. Well, at least now, she wouldn't be hurting anymore... It was fine that way. That was what I believed.

"Natsume?" She called me from behind. I was shocked, of course. Who wouldn't be when the one you were just thinking of suddenly appeared before you? "You can't sleep?" She smiled as she stood beside me. I was watching her carefully, and it was so damned painful. She looked up at the stars, maybe she was looking for different shapes she could find. What was she thinking? I wanted to know. I wanted to take a peek.

Before I lost it, I immediately looked away. Maybe she noticed, because with a low and nervous tone, she asked me... "Natsume, did I... do something wrong?"

No... you didn't. I wanted to say that, but I couldn't even bear to look at her straight.

"I... uh... sorry." She caught my attention when she said that, and I didn't like what I was seeing. Her eyes were getting teary, her eyes couldn't focus, and she was biting her lower lip. I knew that antics. I knew them very well. I wanted to hug her. To tell her that I was sorry. I wanted to tell her I love her. But how could I possibly do that when her heart belongs to someone else? I clenched my hands, my jaws were getting tighter by the second. Please... I silently prayed. I just felt so helpless again.

"If there's something that you got offended, please tell me so I wouldn't do it the next time." She said sincerely, even bowing her head.

"No need. There won't be a next time." I managed to answer. But that answer sure sounded a bit odd even in my ears. What I meant was, there was 'no need' for her to apologize. She didn't even do anything wrong. And by 'next time', I meant that she wouldn't ever offend me even in the future. Somehow, those words conveyed something different. It somehow sounded like I won't be going near her anymore.

She looked at me for a second, but then she looked away. In her lips was a smile, but somehow, that smile was painful to see. "Yeah..." She whispered. Seeing her down in spirit, it was damned killing. Never have I wanted to see her with a bitter smile, and now it was me who caused her to be depressed. I mentally slapped myself. Damn! This was why I told myself that someone like me is no match for her.

I woke up from my self lecturing when she started to walk away. "Then, I'll go sleep now."

My heart beat suddenly increased rapidly. My mind was going hazy. Even my breathing started to be difficult for me. That was not a good sign. It felt like there was a stampede inside me. I couldn't help but look at her while she walked away. No. Don't leave... I never wanted her to leave... I love her. God, I love her...

Before I knew it... my hands already reached out for her and trapped her under my arms...

"Natsume?" She asked in surprise.

I closed my eyes. "Please... stay..." She didn't move when I begged her, and so, I hugged her even more. I could feel her heart beating fast, she was even careful in her breathing. I could smell her shampoo with strawberry scent. She felt so... fragile.

I love you, Mikan... was what I wanted to say. But those words were stucked inside my throat. I shouldn't say it even if my feelings were overwhelming. I shouldn't because it might only give her troubles. A selfish brat would only make her wither away.

There was Nogi... for more than ten years, she held her feelings for him. And yet, that bastard couldn't even see her. Then there was Kaname. At least he wasn't a jerk. Even though he was sickly, he wasn't a bastard. He even risked his life to save her. For sure... he wouldn't hurt her. But me... No, I shouldn't even be compared with them. I was already out at the first place. But even though I thought that I shouldn't compete to win her heart, there was still that big part of me that wanted her to be mine.

I looked at her again, but I wish I didn't open my eyes. Because the moment my eyes landed on her, I wanted to kiss her, to hug her more and never let her go.

Mikan, can you hear me? I wish you could. And if a miracle happens, you might even hear me say I love you.

Damn. I love you.

-

-

-

**Natsume is slowly getting on me. heehee. the way he thinks is really way, way, waaaaay out of this world.**

**anyway, the battle is about to start.**

**so please be patient and wait for it.**

**and also, thank you guys for reading and sending me feedbacks.**

**i appreaciate it! thanks!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Well, guys. hello! ^^ Sorry for being a bit late. I was sent back to the hospital for a few days about something. hahaha. anyway, that's my life. i'm used to it anyway.**

**So! Here goes the next chap. Thanks for waiting!**

**Thank you for those who remembered to leave a review! mwuah, mwuah! it seriously boosts up the motivation to want to write more. so, thanks! haha.**

**::::::::::**

I rolled to the other side of the bed, thinking so deep what to do next. No, that position was uncomfortable, and so I stood up and walked to the glass wall. The city lights were all flickering here and there, as if saying hello. I wondered, why is it that the city lights were much brighter than the stars above? Yes, of course, because they were closer to me. Damn. I couldn't even think straight. I looked at the piece of paper that I was holding and sighed. Seriously, I never thought a day like this would come.

All these time, I thought I had to stay away from her. It felt like I had some sort of disease and I couldn't reach out my hand to her, or even make her notice me. But now, what the heck was the devil's name that possessed me to even write this letter? No, this was just because of an emergency. Aoi wanted me to buy her a gift for her upcoming birthday. Do I look like a girl? What do I know about gifts and stuff? And, that was the reason. Right. I just wanted Polka to come shopping with me. It's not like I was asking for a date. Right. I would just invite her for the sake of Aoi.

I crumbled the paper and groaned in frustration. Yeah, right.

But Mikan wasn't the type of person to make fun of me becaue of some stupid gift. Besides, who else would I go to? Imai was definitely not on the list, and Polka was the only girl I was... uh... close to? Fine. I sighed in defeat. I looked at the crumbled paper once again and tried to straighten it out as I sat by my study table. It was so crumbled that the lines were so much visible, and the words got a little bit of unreadable.

"Tch!" Due to my anger rising, I couldn't even control myself to NOT rip it to pieces. I banged the table hard, forgetting that the two kids were already asleep in the other room. Yes, the other room. That room was the one I never opened for Polka when she first came to clean here. I remembered that I told her it was just a storage room that I never wanted to open again because of the insects. It was such a good thing she got persuaded by the mention of 'insects'. I couldn't let her see it at the time because of what was inside.

That room became Aoi and Youichi's room, and it was full of Aoi's things. Her bed sheet was designed with a princess of some sort. She had a carpet with flower prints. It was all girl's stuff. Youichi's side was, to make it a little better, filled with hero designs. How could I possibly show it to Mikan back then? She would have freaked her self out and come to all sorts of conclusion.

I grabbed the handle of the under drawer and got another piece of paper. I had to re-write it. "Great temper, Natsume." I hissed to myself as I grabbed the pen lying innocently on my table and leaned on the closer so I could see the paper clearly. Wait. What was I supposed to write again? I shut my eyes close. Dang it. Damn you, Mikan Sakura.

The creak of my door opening made me open my eyes again. It was Aoi holding her glass of milk. She was looking at me with curiosity. "What?" I asked her irritatingly.

"Nii-chan, why are you still awake?" She asked me as she slowly walked towards me. I unconsciously looked at the paper now ripped into pieces. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." My cold answer stopped her from coming any further, and that was good. I didn't want her, or anyone for the matter, to see my pathetic little writing.

"You were writing a letter." She said calmly and surely. This brat. Sometimes I was wondering how old she really was. Because she definitely, sometimes, don't act as an eight year old girl --- soon to be nine. That in itself was somehow scary. Was I like that back then? Because my mom said so, and it was definitely... not funny.

"Why don't you just go back to your room?" I snapped at her.

She looked at me with resentful eyes. Ah, that meant she really wanted to read that stupid letter. "Humph! Why don't you just send her a message?!" And then she ran away.

I was left dumbfounded. A text? Why didn't I think of it?

I sat up straight. No. I most definitely do not need Aoi's advice, was what I thought. And so, I started to put the paper back together, like a puzzle, and copied what was written on it to the other clean paper.

::::::::::

I quietly walked along the hallways. Everyone was still on class, and I used it so I could go to her shoe locker. I looked left and right, back and forth, making sure that no one could see me. Damn. I felt like I was some thief sneaking around the school. And by God, me putting some kind of a weird paper inside a girl's shoe locker made me feel like some sort of a stalker. Damn again. If only Aoi didn't made a suggestion about the texting, I could have thought about it myself. And if I back out now, I wouldn't be a real man.

My heart was pounding as I walk closer to her locker. Damn. What a pathetic fool... I sort of developed some self-pity. I looked at the paper neatly folded in my hands once again and scanned it carefully.

_Polka._

_Clock tower. Tomorrow, 10 am. If you're one minute late, you're dead._

I thought to myself, is it alright to not leave her my name? Yes. I was so sure that I was the only one who would call her Polka. She will know that it came from me. Probably. With all the courage that I could gather, I slipped it in her locker. When that stupid piece of paper left my hands, I felt so much relieved. Like a 500 kilos of weight was just lifted up from my shoulders. But after that particular worry, another worry came upon me... what should I do tomorrow?

I went home as fast as I could. No, I wasn't excited. I was just too tired and I wasn't in the mood for some school. As soon as I arrived home, I locked my self and lied down on the bed. I looked at the ceiling, the ticking of the clock on my bedside table was so deafening in my ears. I closed my eyes, wanting to have a good sleep. It was so quiet, so peaceful. The two kids were out to shool, mom even sent their own drivers so I wouldn't have to go and fetch them personally. It was a big help, and that was how we operated since two years ago.

Before, whenever 'that man' would hurt Youichi, I would go and fetch him. I would wait until mom could say that it would be fine to bring Youichi back. Honestly speaking, it was so difficult and so damn hard. I even had a time when 'that man' cut all of my finance sources. I had to go and take a job for our own allowance. It was a good thing that my grand parents were on me. They didn't let me be treated that way. Of course, I was the only one they could pass their company on. So, they had me have a direct access with the family account. No one could question me.

I opened my eyes again. My sight was instantly focused on the alarm clock, it was just three in the afternoon, and only five minutes have passed. I thought that I have been idle for an hour. Well, it felt like an hour. Damn. I was so bored.

I got up from my bed and went to check out my book shelf. As thorough as I could possibly do, I scanned the titles of each book. As my eyes pass through it, my mind would make a recall. From the very first book of the very first shelf up to the very last book of the lowest shelf, I remembered it all. I remembered each plot, each characters, and each endings. Damn. It just felt like I read all of them again in just fifteen minutes. I looked around, hoping to see some book that I haven't read yet. To no luck, I didn't have anything new to read.

My eyes then saw my movie collections in the next shelf. But to no luck, as I scanned each movie title, my mind also remembered its plot and ending. I groaned and slapped my forehead. Dang. I have re-read all the books and I have re-watched all of the movies. How much time have passed? Thirty minutes. Dammit.

I went and sat down in front of my laptop and shit, I forgot that I have downloaded new music and movies already yesterday. I tried to play an online game. My character was already in level fifty, I have distributed the skill points and stats well. But dang, the quest was killing me. I found it so boring to slay so many monsters to find thirty rare items. I groaned again. "So boring!"

A spam message appeared in my screen and it caught my attention. "How to appear nice before a nerve racking day?" I read out loud. "Nerve racking day?" I thought that tomorrow should definitely be on the list. I clicked it open, and there, I saw the list of what to do. I scanned it as fast as I could and only remembered the useful ones. "Clothes and present?" I asked myself unbelievably. Why do I have to cloth myself nicely and give her some present? I was much too shocked when I scrolled down the article to the very end and find my answer there. 'Because you asked her out.'

I slouched back to my chair. Well, it has a tiny bit of a point there. But we weren't going on a date. We were going to buy Aoi's birthday present. She might even decide to also buy one for Youichi. But, even though we weren't going on a date, it was still a favor that she will be deciding. At the least, I could give her a present --- a thank you present... or something.

I thought about it for a while. I had no books to read, no movies to watch, and I had got nothing to do. Might as well buy her a present while I look for a new book and a new dvd. Yeah, that was right. I was going to buy mine anyway, so I'll squeeze hers in on the way. With that in mind, I stood up and grabbed my car keys.

There weren't too many people on the mall that I went to. That was fine for me, I guess. Lesser girls. I roamed around and saw a star with a ruby in the middle at a jewelry store. She would probably like it. No. Wait. If it was Polka, she would definitely like whatever it is that was given to her. Yes. That is what she was like. I smirked on how she would think how cool I am.

"You like it, sir?" The lady on her middle age asked me politely.

"Yeah. How much is that?"

"That's two thousand dollars sir." I mentally smiled. It was way cheaper than Imai's blackmails. I saw the lady smiled. "Is this for your girlfriend? You will give it to her on your date?"

"..." What the hell? "No. She's not my girlfriend. And no, that's not a date."

"Oooh. Such a shy boy. Good luck on your date!"

My mood suddenly changed. "I changed my mind." I sneered and then walked away from that very cursed store.

I went to another jewelry shop. At first, the lady was quiet. But then she said, "This is better to be given on a date." I glared at her, my mood totally ruined. With my temper rising, I stormed off and went to the parking lot to go home.

"Why does everyone keep on saying it's a date?!" I complained on my wheel. The books and the new dvd, they were totally forgotten. I mentally slapped myself when I realized that I had no package in hand. I got frustrated and ashamed of myself even more when I realized that what I was going to do was buy her a thank you gift. "Damn. Natsume, what's the difference between a thank you gift and a birthday gift? They're both gift! Stupid!"

::::::::::

I woke up early that next day. No, I wasn't excited. It's because I was too disturbed. Yes. For so many times last night, I wanted to cancel it. But it would be more embarrassing to cancel it to the very last minute. There was just no way that I would get back to my words.

Aoi was the one who picked a decent clothes. It's because she told me that I looked like a beggar. I didn't want her to give me some damned advice, nor let her interfere. But she told me, "Mikan-nee might be ashamed to be seen with you if you wrap yourself with that." And that made me shut my mouth up. Damn that brat.

I was sitting on a bench near the clock tower. Everyone was stealing glances at me, some girls even 'accidentally' tripped near me. I even noticed some others who were secretly taking my pictures in their camera.

I groaned in frustration. How much longer did she want me to wait for her?

One hour later.

"She's really late. Well, she's also late even in school." That was what I told myself.

Two hours later, I told myself the same line.

Three hours. Four hours. I thought that there must be some kind of an emergency, so she couldn't come in time.

I waited again. Five hours, six hours...

But there was still no sign of Mikan.

::::::::::

"Natsume! Good morning!"

I thought I lost myself. She was fine. Nothing was wrong with her. So, why didn't she even called me to say she wouldn't be coming? I waited for her for six fuckin' hours! I was even worried that she might have met an accident or something that I didn't know of. But no, she was fine! She was totally fine. She even greeted me normally, like how she always had. And that was what was freakin' annoying. It was like nothing happened. Like someone didn't wait for her.

"Mikan, yesterday was fun." Nogi walked towards her.

"Yeah, I enjoyed it. Thanks."

…

Yesterday?

…

I smiled in irony. Yes, of course. Who would reject an invitation from someone you like? I got dizzy all of a sudden. I found myself gasping for air, and every time I managed to force some of it inside me, my chest would hurt. I felt like my insides were just flushed down the toilet. Shit. I knew it already. I knew it from the very first day. Why did she have to rub it on my face? I felt something was bursting inside me. Something hot and funny... and painful, and sad.

"Natsume. How was your day yesterday?" She went to ask me after she talked with Nogi. I didn't look at her. I was afraid that my feelings and my hurt would show if I looked at her. "Natsumeee..." She poked me on my arm, and I shoved her away.

"Don't touch me." I hissed and walked out, without looking back.

I avoided her as much as I could the entire morning. I didn't even go to that stupid tree because that would be the first place she would look for me. I was too hurt, too embarrassed to even face her. I didn't even know what to say once I see her. Was I supposed to ask her, 'Did you have fun yesterday?' Was I supposed to go and ask her for her apologies? Damn. I felt like a total loser. And it wasn't such a good feeling. More so when you know the reason why the girl you love stood you up. She was with Nogi.

I looked up at the clouds. I was hiding myself there, lying at the roof top. She checked me here once, too bad she called out my name. Because of her stupidity, I got myself time to hide at the top of that stupid tower of a water tank. The scene before me wasn't even calming me by a bit. It was just gazing at me, as if mocking me. As if telling me that she was way out of my reach. Damn! I knew it already!

A shadow beside me almost made me flinch. Alas, it was the girl I most definitely never wanted to see. No, it wasn't Mikan. I knew that in a few hours, I would want to see her again even after I was hurt so, it wasn't her. It was the girl who used to be Nogi's. She was standing by my head, and it was too damn ugly sight. Not her underwear. For goodness' sake, she was casually showing it to me. I looked at her straight in the eye, I was too pissed. Too pissed to even play with her stupid games.

She smiled sweetly but disgustingly at me. "I know a secret."

::::::::::

The class ended quite quickly for the first time. Maybe because I was thinking about what that Koizumi said back in the roof top. She told me she knew a secret about Mikan Sakura, and it will definitely stirr up the media. She said that if I wanted to know about it, I should seek her out tomorrow. Damn. She was playing something again, and I knew for sure that it was some trouble. Does it really make her happy to ruin someone else's life?

I was the type of person who doesn't want to get involved in other people's businesses. And I was the one who doesn't want anyone in my life. If I was someone people around me would call demon because of my cold personality, what would they call her who practically enjoys seeing someone fall? They might call her the devil itself. Looking at her always made me want to puke. She was just craving too much attention. So pathetic. And talking to her actually gave me the goose bumps.

Dang it. I never wanted to see her again in my whole life. But there was something she knew about Mikan, and I definitely needed to know it to avoid any media publicity.

I laughed inside my head. Look at me. I was hurt for waiting like a fool, but I was still worrying about Polka's stuff. "Natsume, you're really one pathetic jerk." I murmured to myself as I grabbed my shoes on my own shoe racket.

"Hyuuga." Someone called me from behind. I knew that voice too much that I didn't want to look. "I want to talk with you." I sighed. What more could he want from me? I turned and looked at him boringly.

"What?" I asked him, and it sounded like how I usually would. I was glad to know that I wasn't loosing my facade. If my mask was taken away, what more could I have left?

"She was too depressed all day. And it's because of you." Nogi informed me. I kept looking at him like I wasn't interested, but inside me, my heart was pounding so hard. I leaned on the shoe racket, I was afraid I would collapse. My knees were already weak from hearing that she was depressed. God, why do I love that girl this much? "Are you avoiding her because of yesterday?" He asked me with a smug smile.

I got curious. How the hell did he know about the plan yesterday? He laughed about who knows what and it only made me furious inside. "Well, she was with me."

"I figured much." I answered him as quick as I could, controlling my voice.

"Well, I came here to ask you not to treat her that way." My answer to him was a glare. Who the fuck did he think he was? "It's not her fault. It was mine."

"Yeah. I agree." Every damned passing second was like a lifetime. I never wanted to talk to him, I never wanted to even see him. And now he was here to rub it even more on my face?! I felt the hair on my nape stood, my fists were trembling. My anger was rising to its limits. But no, I didn't have the right to feel anger. I didn't have the right. The least I should do was to control it and not punch him straight to his fuckin' face.

He sighed but smiled never the less. "I saw the note first."

The moment those words left his mouth, I thought everything around me became still and silent.

"She never saw the note. And I asked her to come with me." He admitted. 'Wrong move, Nogi. Wrong move.' I thought. My temper was on the brink of snapping, and so was his neck. "So, you should go to her and apologize for getting mad at nothing. Anyway, you got mad because someone stood you up? What a child!" He said it with a laugh.

In an instant, my hand found his collar and I banged him hard on the wall behind him. In an instant, I was pinning him against that damned wall. I glared at him sharply like I never did before, and he was just stupidly looking back at me with his widened round eyes. "Don't think I softened up even a bit. That's where you're wrong. Nothing changed in me, Nogi. Nothing. And I can still crush your pathetic little life whenever I want." I hissed at him as low as I could. My inside was too damned hot for me to handle, I couldn't even focus my eyes. I thought I was going to explode at him.

He looked at me with his jaws hanging open a little. "And don't call me child after you hid away that fuckin' damned note."

I banged him again against that stupid damned wall and walked away, leaving him without a word said. My heart was pounding so hard, my head was spinning. I thought I was going crazy in so much anger. I loosened up the button of my shirt as I walked towards my bike. Unconsciously, I gripped my hair and messed it so hard. I was so infuriated! That damned brat. He dare hid the fuckin' note away?! Damn. Damn. Damn!

What the hell did he want more?! The fight was already fuckin' decided. And he still wanted to play with me?!

This day, I was hurt. I was disgusted. And I was stupidly humiliated!

"Fuck!"

-

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-

**Wooooh!**

**Please don't forget your reviews!**

**i'm going to end it soon, so please continue to read until the end.**

**and also please read the other stories that i would be writing!**

**thanks!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Yay. I'm alive again.**

**Gosh, i thought i was going to die. My asthma strikes again when my friend cooked a smelly fish, god knows what that fish was, inside our house without turning the exhaust fan on. I thought i inhaled all of the smoke and smell. But... Woot! I survived!**

**My mom suggested for me to have my very own personalized oxygen tank. Haha. wow.**

**Imagine someone walking on the road with a tank on her back.**

**Looks like a scuba diver out of water. hahaha.**

**::::::::::**

I was so damned infuriated.

It was early morning, the very first day that the two class, us and the other, was to work together for the party of the up coming school festival. The party would be held at the gymnasium, and that was why we were all gathered here. Our class took charge in decorating while the other was in charge of the food. I irritatedly grabbed the stupid dangling ornament that Koizumi was whining about. Shit. She was so good at acting 'cute' that I wanted so much to puke. If it wasn't for that stupid information, and if Polka wouldn't be troubled because of her being a Yukihara, I would have poured vinegar all over that Koizumi's hair.

Yes, that girl somehow sniffed about Mikan being a Yukihara. Tch. A nose like a dog. She threatened me with it the day before yesterday. With that information in her tiny little hand, she wanted me to do whatever she bids. No thanks to that, I have been made to avoid Mikan while the misunderstandings between us that was caused by Nogi wasn't even fixed yet. But damn! I couldn't even go and talk to her because of this slimy little shit!

Her words were still lingering in my ears, it was so damn infuriating! "Let's see..." She said while she was twirling her disgusting finger in her disgusting hair. "You told me that you weren't in love with her. What a total lie. Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore. I was satisfied with that. But these past few days... my hunger is striking again."

Seeing her like that was so... I couldn't even put it into words. It felt like I was throwing up and eating it again!

"Well, you see..." She continued, while I pretended not to be interested. "A little bird heard something about her being an... important person. Ugh, it pisses me off more. But anyway, even though I am utterly pissed, this would come in handy." She leaned on me closer and whispered. "If you don't want her secret to leak out to the media, you better act well."

And that was how I got in this situation. I never wanted to do this preparation for that stupid festival, but I don't like being around that disgusting little creature all the more! Shit. And it looked like she even got an Anti-Mikan Sakura club from that other class, which was composed mainly of their slutty girls. They were even giving her a hard time on hissing on her, rolling their damned eyes, and giving her orders. But what I was so pissed the most was that, I couldn't even do a thing about it. Because once I got involved, the whole Japan would know about her being a Yukihara.

"Natsume! What are you doing? I was calling you for a long time now." Polka's lecturing woke me up. Even though I still couldn't clear our msiunderstandings, she was still there pestering me. It was a relief to see her acting the same. If ever she started to avoid me, I didn't know what I could have done.

I looked at her blankly. If ever she knew about her identity being discovered, she would definitely worry and ponder about it. I mean, with all the media monitoring her every moves, following her all around twenty-four-seven, she would definitely wouldn't want that. Besides, she most probably wouldn't like her friends' view about her change. She's the person I knew who would never like to be treated as a spoiled royalty and to be avoided.

"We're going to go get some lunch. You know... I uh, I wasn't able to make lunch for you, so... do you mind if I... treat you to it instead?" She asked bashfully while she was fidgeting with her fingers. She couldn't even look at me in the eye. Probably, she thought that I would get mad or something like the other day.

I smirked, thinking how much courage she probably gathered just to admit to me about her forgetting my lunch. Stupid girl. She couldn't even make a lie. Someone stood quietly behind her, and I was too disappointed to even look. In an instant, my good mood melted away. Damn this rotten Koizumi. She looked at me with threatening eyes. And when she does that, it would only mean 'shove her away'.

I closed my eyes. Damn. I thought I wanted her to stay away from someone like me. But now that Koizumi made a chance for me to get away from her, it only turned out to be damned tearing me apart. I took a deep breathe, forcing air in to me. "No. Go treat yourself. And don't bug me."

For a second, she looked at me with no reaction. Seemed like she hasn't absorbed what I said yet. Then, slowly, she furrowed her brows and said, "Fine! Big jerk!" and stormed off away from me.

"Watch out where you're going!" A guy from the other class yelled like a maximized amplifier. He was snarling at Polka, who he said bumped him on 'purpose' so she could 'attract' his attention. "You little bitch!" He raised his hand up and was about to hit her.

I wanted to run. Damn. I wanted to run at her. But some fuckin' chain was tied on both my hands and my feet. I was wondering who would save her in that position... and damn again, it was Nogi. I felt like everything went into slow motion as he grabbed her by the shoulders, and pulled her close in his arms. Seeing her being claimed by another man in front of me was somehow nerve racking. I turned my eyes away unconsciously. She must be happy now...

Someone snickered beside me, and I was just too pissed to even look. I knew who it was, of course, so I wouldn't even dare look. For if I looked at her right there and then, I would have punched her and broke her nose.

I waited outside the gym, waited for about thirty minutes before that bastard appeared. In front of me was the guy who dared to even attempt to hit Mikan. I glared at him, and he trembled. It was like, we communicated without words. He knew what I wanted, and I knew what his answer was. My insides were burning hot, and I couldn't control even my thinking. I wanted to pounce on him, to kick him. It was like, inside me was a volcano, and it suddenly erupted. In the heat of the moment, I grabbed his collar and banged him on the wall while his other friends just watched stunned.

"You dare?" I hissed at him. Every words was so heavy, it contained my anger.

He couldn't look at my eyes, damn he couldn't even speak. His jaws was much too trembling, and his breathing was so heavy. I had to cool my head off, I had to get away from him or I could have killed him any time. Such a lowly life dared to raise his hands against her. Such low-life! I violently yanked him away and then walked out stomping my foot on the way. Even those around me probably got scared and tried to clear the way.

"What did you think you were doing?" I heard the voice I never wanted to hear. She was standing not so far before me. Obviously waiting for me to pass through.

I glared at her. I wasn't in the least bit of mood to play with her pathetic little tantrums. "What, you're not scared of what I might leak?" She asked me with a threatening voice. I walked to her, quietly controlling the raging erruption inside me. With a deep and hard breath, I leaned closer to her with a glare.

"I'm not in the mood to dance with you, pathetic little bitch." I hissed at her face, walked away with raging anger and burning jealousy, and left her dumbfounded.

::::::::::

I had to cool my head off, and that was why I came here under the usual tree. These past few days, nothing good happened. In fact, things have gotten worse. And maybe, this was just the beginning. I had an idea. I thought that maybe, I could secretly be with Mikan, or even just to talk to her without any disturbances would be good enough. I would be satisfied even with just that. I sighed. "Wishful thinking..." I murmured to myself.

"What is?" That voice almost made me jump off my seat. Almost. But like always, the whole life of training of no showing emotions paid me and made me stayed cool. It was her, the girl I was just thinking about. I thought to myself, is this some kind of a joke? The one you cannot be with will always end up beside you.

She looked at me with curious eyes. I didn't notice, she was sitting already beside me. For how long, who knows? Point is, I didn't even notice her came. Was I too engulfed in my own thoughts that I failed to see her?

"Nothing." I answered nonchalantly. But deep inside where no one could hear me, I was celebrating with joy. Maybe here, under our very own tree, I would have a chance to be with her. Here where no one ever came but us. I knew it. I could feel it. I was longing for her. Even though her high-pitched voice was ear-bleeding, I missed hearing it. Her antics that were somehow annoying, I was longing to see it. And her bright smile that would often make me wonder whether she was just plain stupid or certified optimist, I was searching for it.

"Natsume, aren't you excited? I mean, we're soon having the festival! This is the last festival in our first year! The next will be in our second year! And ten, the sen[ais would be third year. Soon, they will graduate and leave. Well, it's kind of sad to think about it. But they could go into college soon." Yeah. That was the 'annoying' part of her that I was talking about. She uses her high-pitched voice to talk so fast and so excitedly. Sometimes, when we were alone, she would often remind me of that permed hair girl that talks like a machine gun.

My eyes flickered when a question popped in my mind. How come she would get so talkative when she's with me, but stops talking in front of others? Did I really look like I was enjoying to listen to her nonsense?

I rolled my eyes and rest my mind. Whatever. I thought that I would just savour the moment.

She was still talking non-stop when I saw a familiar figure not so far from where we were sitting. It was that disgusting little slimy brat. Her arms were folded across her chest, and she was giving me the usual look. I pretended that I didn't see her, that I was too un-interested to even notice her.

When another figure from behind her came, that was when I was rattled inside. It was a middle-aged man wearing a black framed glasses. But what caught my attention the most was the thing that was hanging on his neck. It was a camera and an ID. I immediately recognized who it was, or more like what his profession was. He was a photographer, or more like a reporter.

I realized in an instant what that bitch was planning. She was threatening me. Yes. She was threatening me, Natsume Hyuuga. She dared to play fire with me.

I glared at her, and my insides instantly burned when she gave me a wicked smile. I wanted to punch her, to pluck each strands of her 'beloved' hair off her big but empty head. But before I deal with her, I had to first make Mikan go away. She was not to be exposed to the media. That was the plan since her birth. And I wasn't such a damned brainless guy who would risk her. My eyes focused on her while she was giggling with her self.

"And then, Koko and Sumire agreed to ---"

With all the courage I had, I cut her. I looked at her straight in the eyes as cold as I could possibly show her, I hissed, "I don't fuckin' care. How many times did I tell you to leave me alone and don't fuckin' bug me?!"

She looked at me blankly at first, and ever slowly, her eyes showed fear. But that fear was covered with concern, and then turned to sorrow. I was like a damned fool as I was watching her be covered with those emotions. Those feelings that I was afraid she would experience in my own hands. I was afraid to hurt her, to make her go away. I was afraid that once I told her to get lost of my life, she would do what I say and never come back again.

With trembling hands and unfocused eyes, she stood up and started to walk away. I watched her as she leave me, and damn, I was so broken inside. Before, whenever Aoi would tell me something about a drama show, I would always laugh on her. I thought that it was too damned unbelievable. I told her once that those who cried because of the people who left her were so 'damned pathetic fools'. Now, as I watched the love of my life walked away from me, I thought my insides were frozen and crumbling apart.

I didn't want to make her go away. I didn't want to lose her. But that was the only thing I could do. If I had to be the damned bastard in her life in order to protect her, I would be glad to oblige. She doesn't have to notice me, I could protect her in the dark without her knowing. One day, she could look at me with hateful eyes...but I would still be abele to smile. Even though I know that I could only give a painful smile, at least I made her safe.

Unknown feelings were so overflowing inside me. They were eating every inch of me, eating away my sanity. My chest was tight and clogging, and my breathing became difficult. Damn. Why did I have to pretend to be a god damned saint? Damn. I could live to be Joker if she could see me as the Batman. But this was reality. I was the Batman, but in her eyes I was the fuckin' Joker.

When she was out of my sight, my eyes searched for the stupid bitch who dared to play with me. The emotions I felt earlier as I watched Mikan walk away was now turned to burning rage. I was insanely and unbelievably mad. I watched her as she made the reporter go away with her disgustingly 'cute' smile. I shook my head and unintentionally smirked. That was a wrong move. With no reporter, no witness, I could hurt her.

I walked towards her, ever controlling myself from pouncing her. She smiled at me with her eyebrows arched. "You see what I can do? That was just a reminder, Natsume." She traced my chest with her finger so flirtatiously. I tried to play with her, while my mind was already barfing.

I smiled at her. The fakest smile I have ever done.

She looked stunned for a moment, and I almost got bored while waiting for her to compose her self again. With a clear of her throat, she said, "You just have to play along. And no one would ever hear about the truth." Then, she laughed so maliciously. "I told her clearly we weren't through yet. Hah! The look on her face was so hilarious! I should have recorded it with my camera."

And that was where I exploded. She was doing this because of that fucker Nogi?! Shit! His name appeared again. His name kept on appearing like a damned stubborn mule! Fuck! I grabbed her violently in her wrist and pulled her close. "You want to fuckin' play with me?"

I saw her tried to make her face cool. She was fighting it, fighting to show her emotions. "You fuckin' wanna play with Natsume Hyuuga?! You want the whole world to know about Mikan Sakura being a Yukihara?! You really want to play with our names?! Huh?! Koizumi?!" I yelled at her face. That was the first time that I showed what I felt in my face. "I am a Hyuuga!"

And her face showed fear. She just realized who she was dealing with? Didn't she know that she was playing a very dangerous game?! Fuck!

"I – I'm telling you! I'm... I'm really going to tell the world about Sakura being a Yukihara! I'm going to... I'm going to tell every reporter about the phantom heir!" She stuttered while she was screaming in my face. I could feel her attempt to be free of my grasps, but my mind was too damned blank.

"FINE! Go tell that fuckin' reporter about Mikan. Give it your best shot Koizumi. 'Cause I don't want a boring game." I hissed and pushed her down the ground. I glared at her, my hear beating fast with so much anger. "Show me what a fuckin' Koizumi can do."

I stomped my way out there with my ears and face burning hot, a diffuclty in breathing, and tears on the verge of dropping.

::::::::::

I was stomping along the hallway to the classroom to get my damned things. My mood was totally ruined, and my mind was planning a hell lot of works to do. Damn Koizumi. Damn Nogi. He did it again. He showed up in the midst of the problems again. His bitch was trying to ruin Mikan's life, all because of him. Damn me for being so much a fool.

The very first time I went here, I already knew that he was the one that Mikan loves. I already knew that he was the one who hurt her a millionth of times without even realizing it. I saw his insensitivity as he embraced Koizumi in front of Mikan. Now that he broke up with Koizumi to be with Mikan, he was still hurting her unknowingly. And I had to be the one to clean his mess. Damn. The very source of the turmoil was nowhere near the fire. He must be having a good time with his friends, not knowing anything.

I stopped my tracks when I saw familiar faces. They were the senpais --- Mikan's senpais. With Kaname.

Great. Just great. First Koizumi, then him.

He was looking at me sternly with the eyes of burning but calm rage. I wasn't in the bit least mood to have a confrontation right that moment, and so, I walked past him. I thought he wouldn't say anything, I was about to be relieved, but just as I was standing behind him, he started to speak.

"I thought I told you that I would make a move once I see you making her cry."

I sighed. So, that was what this is about. Yeah. Right. I'm one hell of a bastard. "Mind your own damned business." I started to walk away, but he grabbed my shoulders and made me look at him. I noticed Andou, the violent girl Harada, and the perverted guy with the long hair not so far behind him. They were all watching with caution. They should be. Kaname looked like a very weak small tree that would collapse easily even in just a flick.

"I was such a fool to think that you won't hurt her, Hyuuga. I thought that you would at least wouldn't make her feel bad. I thought you cared for her." My insides were on fire as I listened to him accuse me more. I was overwhelmed again, anger embracing me tightly and suffocating me. "Oh, yes, Hyuuga. I know. I saw you from the third floor! I was watching you as you cursed her and shove her away like some sort of disease!"

To all the things that he said, the only thing that caught my attention was the part where he said that he was watching. "You were watching?" I asked him carefully, so careful for I thought I might explode with just one wrong poke.

"Oh, yes I was, Hyuuga. I was watching. Why did you think I rushed here when I saw her ran away?" I smirked.

With all the strength I had with the rage that just suddenly erupted from me, I pinned him against the wall. I laughed at him sarcastically while he watched with the same anger he showed me earlier. Andou tried to meddle, but Harada and Tono stopped him. They just watched me as I exploded in the very face of Kaname. "Who the fuckin' fuck do you think you are? You don't fuckin' know any damned thing, Kaname! You don't know anything!" I yelled at his face. This was the second time that my emotions got the best of me.

Here I was, so broken on the sight of seeing Mikan leave me with her eyes on the verge of crying, so fuckin' threatened about her safety that Koizumi was aiming to strike, and the only thing that people around me could do was to accuse me? Fuck! Fuck! "Too bad, Kaname. Too bad. If you were only there just a bit longer, you would have known. You would have known! But, no. You fuckin' don't know anything. So don't you fuckin' dare to accuse me!"

His face turned red, I quote from anger. "You're one tough bastard, Hyuuga." He hissed at me.

"I AM a fuckin' bastard! I know that. But don't you fuckin' accuse me! Don't you fuckin' accuse me of not caring about her!" With all my strength left, I pushed him away from me. He wobbled as he tried to gain his balance, but to no avail, he fell on the floor. I looked down at him with so much peacefulness now. I couldn't feel the heat anymore. My body was numb. Numb from all of those fuckin' happenings.

I wondered what could have happened if I didn't know anything, if I wasn't a Hyuuga. It must be a freakin' happy life. But damn, there would be no Mikan. It would be a happy life alright, but also an incomplete one. "Ignorance is a bliss." I murmured.

Like floating in the air, I stormed away. Tsubasa tried to stop me, but those other two was not letting him go. I was thankful for that face, for if they didn't stop him, I didn't know what could have happened more.

I found myself under that tree again, my things completely forgotten. Hell, I could care less about it. I felt so tired. I felt so light. I leaned my forehead against the tree trunk, and that was when I remembered Mikan's face as she was walking away. All of a sudden, my shoulders fell. The lightness that I felt just now instanlty disappeared. It was as though a heavy concrete fell on me.

Mikan.

Mikan.

She was all I could think of. I was playing a highly dangerous game for her sake. I was risking my name in place of hers. I was playing the bastard, the villain. But I could take that...probably.

I was more than shocked when I felt my cheeks have gotten wet. I stopped my thinking for a moment, and then I bitterly smiled as I told myself...

"So, this was what they call tears."

-

-

-

**Natsume cried.**

**awww.**

**he was such an OOC. But i always thought that a guy crying over his love is the sexiest. so, there!**

**Anyway, I am so sorry about Ruka's portray, guys! To those Ruka lovers, please don't be offended. I also love him.**

**I just made my story more of like a reality where "all's fair in love and war" ... or something, so i had to make him fight.**

**so please bear with me for a little while. ^^,**


	15. Chapter 15

**woooooh!**

**the story is about to end guys! n_n)/'' **

**this is my longest chapter. haha.**

**please also read other stories that i would also write after this one.**

**thank you very much for your support and constant reviews!**

**::::::::::**

I looked out the window to see the blooming sakura trees. If someone would see me now, they would probably think that I was utterly bored. But in reality, my mind was processing things. Things that ordinary people like them wouldn't probably understand. I looked at the sub-teacher who was shaking at the front. Honestly, they told me that he had been here ever since first day of their school, but how come he never got used to standing there at the front? A teacher that was afraid of his students, how simply amusing.

At the corner of my eyes, I saw the brunette girl sitting beside me. She was yawning yet again. It had been her three times already in this particualr subject. I couldn't blame her, someone would really get bored seeing an incompetent teacher trying to teach. A pang hit my chest when I saw her sighed. What could have been going on in her mind? I wanted to know. I wanted to take a look. But that would never happen, not in this lifetime, not ever. Not, specially because of what I have been doing. Yes. I have been avoiding her for the past week.

I closed my eyes and covered my face with the manga I never finished to read. I remembered what happened three days ago.

I was standing in front of those familiar big doors. Seriously, they were so big it would make one feel like standing in front of the judge's room. The golden name plate was shining against the sunlight, and his name, 'K. Yukihara, Headmaster' could be clearly read. I didn't honestly know what I would do to convince him in my plan. But I knew that he would listen. With the pounding of my heart, I knocked on the door and waited for his answer before I came in.

The room never changed since the last time I went here. How long had it been, almost a month? Like the first time I saw him, he was standing behind his desk, looking out at the little opening of the curtained window. He looked at me with a smile, the smile that he would often make in front of her.

"How rare for Natsume Hyuuga to come and see me." He started and lent his hand out for me.

I bowed to him and shook his hand. "I came here for a proposal."

His eyes became sharp. I knew for the fact that a Yukihara would always be as sharp as a knife when it comes to business. "And... why do you think that I would listen to a mere seventeen year old boy giving me a business proposal?" His eyes were scrutinizing, he was testing me.

I looked back at him with the same level of intense. Never had I backed down from any fight, I have even handled some of the businesses that 'that man' threw on me. All of those things that was thought of 'impossible' for me to do, I have finished splendidly with flying colors. With all the strength and seriousness I could show in my voice, I told him, "Because it concerns Mikan Sakura."

He was stunned. Perhaps, he never expected something like her name to appear in a business proposal. He was particularly protective of her, specially because she was the only heir. There was no one beside her. Kazu Yukihara, as I knew of it, never attempted to start a new family of his own. He must have treated Mikan as his own daughter, leaving everything on her name. Because of a very big responsibility and role bestowed upon her, she had to be safe in every possible way.

I started to tell him all that happened with Koizumi, from the very start up to the very end. He was just listening, yes, he was listening intently --- just as I planned. But what I didn't see was his muredrous intent. He was just sitting on his chair, he was just listening, but his aura was so intimidating. I was taught how to intimidate people just from my mere existence. It naturally became a habit to me like breathing that it was always tuned on. It was the sense of pride of being born higher than anyone else.

My thoughts were caught when he spoke again. "So, what's your plan?"

With that, I got Kazu Yukihara as my back-up for all of my other plans.

A nudge from beside me made me stopped remembering. Mikan was nudging me again with her elbow. "Natsume!" She whispered. "Why are you sleeping? Jinno-sensei had been eyeing you."

I lifted up the manga on my face to look at the board, and there stood at the front was Jinno. He was indeed eyeing me, but I had lots of other more important things to think of than him. I slouched back again on my seat. Today was the day that I was waiting for. My secretary, Mitsuzaki, had been attempting to secretly contact all of the other stock holders and create a secret meeting. I wanted it to be a secret from 'that man' until the day that I myself announce it to him. And I wanted my actions to be secret from all the other eyes so that no one, particularly the Koizumi corp, would be alarmed and be on guard.

Today was the day of the meeting. And so was the day that I would tell 'that man' about my plans. I myself had been researching and investigating those other board members for blackmailing purposes. I guess it runs in our blood, particularly high in amount in the blood of my cousin, Imai.

My phone rang, the call that I had been itching to answer. I sat up straight when I saw Mitsuzaki's caller ID. "Sir, I've done it already. I'm at your school's gate now to fetch you for the meeting."

Great. "I'll be down in a minute."

I hurriedly stood up while all the others were just looking at me. "Natsume!" Polka stood up and followed me as I walked out. "Hey, wait! We still have classes!"

"I don't have time for that." I told her without even looking at her.

"But... but..." Her voice trembled, and that was when my attention was caught. I stopped from walking. I turned my head, and I regretted looking at her. Seeing her head bent down, seeing her shoulders slouched, it was murder. How long would she stay like that? How long would I hurt her? I wanted to touch her, to tell her that everything is okay. I wanted to tell her that I wasn't mad at her for anything, because I knew that that was what she was thinking of. "I just...wanted to tell you something..."

I wanted to stay and listen. Really. I truly wanted to hug her and stay by her side. Seeing her in front of me but not able to reach out, it was so damned heart breaking. Here I was, trying to resist all of the temptations to run at her, and she was here coming on her own and standing in front of me. I felt like a chain was choking me. Why is it that I had all the power in Japan, but I would feel helpless when I was in front of her? Never had I felt this way, this feeling of helplessness. It was so... damn!

My breath choked me even more when I saw the girl standing behind her. She was there again, that girl. That slimy disgusting girl. Her eyes were threatening, and her phone was on her hands. These past few days, she would always do that whenever she would see me even one meter near Mikan. That was her way of saying, 'I only need to make a call to rattle all of the media'.

I wanted to tell her to fuck off. But I was still waiting for the right moment. I was still fighting my own fight for position, and I have yet to secure the victory in my hands. I didn't want to mess up because of my emotions and bring danger to Mikan. That would be the last thing that I would do in this world.

I took a deep breath. I still have to wait. Wait for the right time. Wait until everything was over. Patience, that was all I needed. If ever this whole thing straightens out, I could tell her that I was sorry for mistreating her. But even I didn't know whether she would still be willing to listen to me when the time comes. For all I know, she could be the one to avoid me in the future. Well, I would just took it as a punishment from the heavens.

Damn. Thinking about the future was tiring enough to make my knees tremble in fear.

"Natsume.. I..." Before she could say anything else, I already cut her in.

"I don't have time for this. If it's nothing important, then tell me next time if I'm in the mood. Because right now, I'm so fucked up that I'm not in the mood to listen to your ramblings." I felt so numb. I felt so empty. All the pain that have piled up inside me made me lose all of the senses I still had.

"S-sorry. I'm... I just... Natsume..." She took a deep sigh. Slowly, she looked up at me with a very obvious forced smile. At least that was what it looked to me. Maybe, she was too hurt from all of me that she lost the capability to fake a happy smile. "Take care! And see you soon!" Then she walked away.

She walked away again. Again. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see her back. I didn't want her back turned against me. It felt like she was rejecting me, like my world would crumble apart. I laughed mentally. Damn. I was so pathetic.

::::::::::

"Why would we want you to handle a serious matter like this?" One of the board members asked me. Again, they were discriminating by age. I was getting fed up. For so many times now, I wanted to walk out of that meeting room after giving a punch to each and every one of those old geezers. But then, every damned time that I would think about walking out of that very room, I would think of her. She was like a stimulant, every time I would think of her, something inside me would burn and I would want to continue.

I looked at that man straight in the eyes. "Because I am the one who knows well what is going on."

"Do you have the capabilities to handle this?" Another man asked me. I closed my eyes. This had been going on for an hour, I had to finish this soon and go to 'that man'. Seriously speaking, I didn't have the time. Koizumi's mind could get a hold of something about revealing everything already, she could show her trump card any time soon.

I took a deep breath. "For the last four months, the resources of the supply department had been dropping. Not in a tremendous amount, so as not to be noticed. But it had been dropping. Do you know why, Mr. Hajimoto?" I asked the bearded man. He looked rattled when I revealed it. It couldn't be helped, this was my ace against them.

"I... It was..." I didn't give him the chance to speak.

"You don't know? Well, I do." I looked at the man beside him, the one who was sweating bullets. "For the last two months and three days, the finance department had been having problems with the missing budget. As I dug in deeper, I have found out that those missing budget was being showered to a certain Princess Hotel at the first district."

Everyone was silent as I revealed each and every mishaps that had been going on in the dark. They were just listening as I told them stories of their personal lives and how it affected the missing budgets and the dropping of stocks. "If I do not have the capabilities, why do you think I know any of those craps?"

And the meeting ended.

I left them dumbfounded from what I just showed them. But in this last week, it was not just their lives that I have dug up. Even the files regarding the Koizumi were all inside my head. The going in and out of the finance, the problems that they were having in their stock holders, and their problems in the investors. I knew it all.

Mitsuzaki walked towards me as soon as I stepped a foot out of the room. "Sir, a girl named Mikan Sakura called and wanted to talk to you. I told her that you have something to work on."

I stopped walking. It was as if the meeting earlier didn't occur at all. My world literally stopped. All of the things inside my head vanished by the sound of her name.

She called? She really called?

I just couldn't believe it.

For just one call, I was so...ecstatic.

I mentally slapped my forehead. No. This won't do. If she was seen with me, the whole plan of protecting her might go in jeopardy. "Next time she calls, tell her I'm not in the mood to talk to her."

::::::::::

"Are you sure about this?" Mom asked me with obvious concern. We were standing just outside 'that man's' study room.

I looked back at her. "Mom." It was supposed to stop her form further talking, but it looked like I gave her the opposite effect.

She smiled at me and her hand reached out for my shoulder. "You really love her, don't you?"

It was … weird hearing it out loud from another person's mouth. I have been saying it inside my head, I have been admitting it, but it just felt so real when some other confirmed it. It felt like these things have been really happening, and I really was in love. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed, not about her, but about me. I have never known what it was like to love someone, and I often made fun of people in love. But now, it was me who was desperately doing everything on my power to stop those who wanted to harm her.

I took the chance to look away as my hand grabbed the door knob. I opened it slowly and entered quietly. Mom came in with me, but she stood by the door while I walked near 'that man'. I clutched the folder on my arms tight when he looked at me under those irritating spectacles.

"What's this?" He asked when he saw me. "What brings you here?"

I handed him the folder that contained everything. He looked at it first, and then his eyes went to mine as he reached out to read it.

My heart was pounding hard against my ribs as he read the documents and the letters.

"This is a serious matter for us. Why do you think I'll let you handle it?"

That again. For goodness' sake, how did he think I convinced all of the board members and Kazu Yukihara? "Because as you can see, they would pull out all of their assets if I am not the one to do it. Besides, Mr. Yukihara is backing me up. You do know that once Yukihara corp. becomes independent, there is a great possibility that we would clash with them."

He looked at me with unbelieving eyes. I knew it would happen. He once gave me an assignment, he once wanted me to run over some business. But those weren't as serious as this one. This matter could be fatal now at the present, and also at the future. But that wasn't my concern. My goal was to protect her.

I closed my eyes. I never thought that this day would come. Never have I bowed my head in favor. Never have I plead for something. All of the pride I had instantly vanished for a moment when I knelt down in front of him. Yes, I knelt down in desperation. I heard my mom gasped, and so did 'that man'. This was nothing, that was what I thought. I could do anything for her, even to throw away every damned piece of pride I had in my body. "Please. This is the only thing I could do for her." I guess he knew what I meant when I told him that. He was smart, I got it from him. "Think about what you will lose if I wouldn't handle it and Koizumi started to blabber at the media."

I heard his chair creaked, and I heard him sighed. "Handle the resort's fourth branch while you're preparing for this plan of yours and Kazu."

My mind stopped working. Did I hear it right? He agreed? I... How come he didn't press me harder? I mean... what? "Thank you, sir." I coolly said as I stood up. He gave me back the folder with the documents and then I walked towards the door.

I saw mom's face, it was quite unexplainable, really. She looked so pleased, and shocked, and I don't know. She was smiling at me while her eyebrows were coiled, and she was shaking her head. I guess she was really surprised on what I did. Even I couldn't believe that I just knelt down the floor before 'that man'. "You did it!" She excitedly whispered.

I shook my head. "No. This is just the beginning." I whispered back.

I was about to step out of the room when he called back. "I never knew you cared about the company."

"I do. I care about it. My interest lies on it. My only difference from you is, I still remember my family." I turned my head and looked at him with a smirk. "I guess you wouldn't know." Those unsaid words were so clearly heard in our silence.

::::::::::

It had been three days already since I stopped coming to school. My phone rang for about five times on those three days, a ring that came from Mikan. All those calls, they were all rejected.

I looked out of my office window and saw the ever busy city. Those three days passed by so slowly. But the processing of the documents to press down the Koizumi firms were all going fastly and smoothly. I told Mitsuzaki to do it as quiet as possible, and so did those under me. I wanted it to be a surprise attack.

I wondered what she was doing right now. Tomorrow was Aoi's birthday, for sure, she was invited. Of course, I had to go there at the party. My sister had been busy this week for preparations for her grand birthday. I thought it would be just a simple party, but damn, she was one hell of a girl. She wanted it to be formal, but she had surprises for the guests. Ugh. Whatever. I didn't have enough space to think about her cursed party.

If I go there, there would be a huge chance of meeting Mikan. What would I say when I see her? I might lose all of the sanity I had. I mean, I had endured it not to see her, not to hear her voice, not to be near her, and I was at my limit.

Maybe I should call her? At least, maybe, I would be relieved. Mitsuzaki entered the room, he was talking to someone on his phone. That was when I got an idea. I was such a genius. "Mitsuzaki, lend me your phone for a bit."

He looked at me blankly. He must be thinking why I needed his phone. "Yes sir, of course."

I dialled her number on his phone with all the courage I had. It was like, with every added single digit, a greater courage was required. The phone rang, and my heart pounded. Damn. Why would I be this affected?

"Yes?" I heard her voice. Damn. I heard her voice. All of the exhaustion that I felt for the past days disappeared in an instant. "May I know who is on the line?"

Inside me, there was something calm but overflowing. I so much wanted to hear her voice, and it was making me all teared up. "Is this Ruka? Are you playing games again? I'm telling you now this is so not funny. You know that I'm not in the mood to play with you."

The heaviness bounced back at me. The pressures, the stress, the exhaustion, they all returned to me twice as much than before. I wanted to cry. Damn, I wanted to scream. She thought I was Ruka before I could even say anything. I wanted to yell at her. Damn you, Mikan Sakura! But my voice got stuck. My lips trembled along with my knees and hands. I was shaking so badly. Never have I felt this way. Never have I been hurt so much.

His name made to surface again. His name, the name I almost forgot, made me remember. It made me ask again, what have you been expecting? Did I expect to see her with open arms and waiting to hug me? Was I that much of a fool?

I shut my eyes tight and hung up the phone. In an instant, I lost sight of everything. I lost my goals. Everything was pitch black. I forgot what I was doing, I forgot why I was doing those. Silence made me deaf. The air was stiff and smothered me. Every damned senses inside me were all pained. Even breathing was painful.

I almost forgot where I was standing. I almost forgot that I wasn't the one. But thanks to that phone call, I remembered again. Even though people knew me as THE Natsume Hyuuga, to her, I was just Natsume. I was _just _Natsume Hyuuga. I wasn't Ruka Nogi, the one she waited for so long.

::::::::::

The music from the hall reached out even here outside the garden. It was Aoi's ninth birthday, and she invited everyone she knew and she even told them they could bring along their other friends. Of course, I knew that Mikan was inside, I knew that she was with someone from school, and that was the reason why I escaped from there.

Because of yesterday's 'reminder', I didn't want to see her. It was sort of funny how one moment I was dying to be with her, and the other moment I didn't want to see her. I mentally laughed at my pathetic self. No, who was I kidding. Of course, I wanted to see her. I wanted to be with her. I was just scared to be reminded again, to be rejected. That was how much of a coward I was.

I took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. The night was beautiful, and the silence was relaxing. The only thing that kept me restless was the fact that Mikan was somewhere inside that house. Footsteps from behind me made me alert. "Nii-san." Oh, I thought it was someone. It was just Aoi.

Shit. I was expecting something again.

"Nii-san, you should go inside. I'm going to blow my candles soon." She said quietly.

"I know."

"Please...? I know that you're... tired and all. I just want you to see me officially turn nine." She sat beside me and leaned her head on my arms.

"Where's Youichi?" I asked. I wanted to avoid going inside as much as I could, as long as I could.

"He's inside with Miss Kai. He didn't want to come out of his room. But when he heard that Mikan-nee was there, he immediately changed his clothes and ran outside like a hurricane!" Oh. Right. So much for the 'avoidance'. Well, I couldn't blame this kid, could I? "Come one, Natsume-nii! Let's go inside. Carry me on your shoulders." She teased.

I rolled my eyes and smirked. "Kid. You're wearing a skirt and you want me to carry you on my shoulders? I thought you said you're old enough?"

She laughed from my remarks. Goodness. This brat was such a brat. "Then, give me a piggy back!"

I sighed. "Damn brat." And she climbed up my back.

She was giggling non-stop until we arrived inside the party hall. To my dismay, the very first person I saw was her. It was so unfair. So unfair that in that crowd, she was the very first person my eyes fell to. It was like a magnet that pulled my eyes. She was stunning, of course. I never knew she could be that beautiful if she tried to. Yes, I didn't like her because of what she looked like. I barely even noticed it. This was the first time that I took notice that yes, Mikan Sakura was beautiful this night.

She was laughing heartily while she danced. It was such a nice view...until my eyes landed on who she was dancing to. It was Kaname. Kaname Sono. What the fuck? I immediately burned. First she thought I was Nogi, and now she was dancing with Kaname. Was she really that stupid? She never noticed Kaname's feelings towards her? And what's this? She loved Nogi but she was happy with Kaname. Damn. Damn!

"Nii-san... Sorry... I... I..." Aoi behind me started to stutter.

"No. I'm fine. Go on. I'll be right outside." Once her feet touched the ground, I scrammed as fast as I could.

I told myself not to see her. I told myself not to go inside. I knew that she was there, but what was I thinking still going in? Damn. Damn! How the fuck did I get this stupid? I ran back to the garden. I wanted to be alone. Alone, where no one could see me. I was exploding. I was at my limit. My insides were getting hotter and hotter.

I thought I was prepared. I thought I could endure. I thought I have already set my mind that whatever I do, it would just be for her. But fuck! Why was it so unfair? So fuckin' unfair! I was the one who was wasting his life away from sleepless nights and splitting head ache. I was the one protecting her. I was the one who did all the job. But, why the fuckin' 'why'? How come I was the farthest from her? Why was I in such pain?

My mind became blank for a moment, and I just found my hand bleeding from punching the tree trunk. My skin was scraped, the blood was flowing out. My hand was hurt, yes, it was painful. But not as much as my chest was.

I laughed inside. A person's heart wasn't supposed to be hurt from being emotional since the feelings came from the brain. But now, why does my chest hurt so much? It was suffocating me, killing me. And all I could do was hide in the dark. Damn. Damn.

"Natsume?"

My ears perked up. I knew that voice. It was the voice I didn't want to hear right at this moment. Not now. "Natsume? Why are you here?" She asked.

I took a deep breath to stabilize my raging emotions. "Go back. Leave me alone."

It was silent for a while. So silent that I thought she left already. But no, I knew she was still standing behind me even though I couldn't see her. I knew it. I could feel her. I could smell her scent. The strawberry scent that came from her was filling up my nose. It was so tempting. I wanted to turn and look at her. I wanted to hug her. But no, I shouldn't let myself suffer more. Right at that moment, I have decided to go away once all these things settled down.

That would be nice. Quiet and alone. Like always.

"Natsume, please...just let me talk..." She pleaded silently.

"No." I answered firmly. "From now on, you don't have to bother yourself with me. I'm not going to make you my slave anymore. And I'm not going to bother you again. Fair deal, right?" Truthfully speaking, I didn't know what I was talking about. I wasn't too sure about anything anymore. I was just letting my mouth say anything it will.

"Natsume. I just want to tell you something... please... talk to me..." Her voice started to shake. And that made me rattled inside. Fuck! I thought I didn't want to look at her, I thought I didn't want to turn my head. But why, in just her little trembling, I would leave everything behind and run to her? Why was I looking at her now? Why did I find myself looking straight at her eyes? I thought I wouldn't let myself be hurt any longer. I thought I wouldn't make a fool out of myself anymore. Where had my reasonings went to? They just disappeared! Vanished from thin air! All logic from me disappeared once I heard her voice trembled!

Hah! Fuck you, Natsume Hyuuga!

"Don't... don't avoid me..." Her eyes were starting to tear up. And I was overflowing. Emotions were mixed up. I just...couldn't explain.

I wanted to run away. I wanted to tell her, to stop. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I wanted to hide. But my feet were glued on the ground. I just couldn't move. I just found myself staring at her while waiting for me to burst.

I took a deep breath and mentally slapped myself. "You don't know what you're talking about." With all of my strength, I turned around to walk away. This time, at least this time, please let me be the one to walk away. I thought that I would just explode once I see her back again. I might lose all fo the sanity I had. Seeing her walking out of my life. Seeing her turned her back against me. At least this time, please let it be me.

I stopped my tracks when I felt something sharp and hard thrown against my back. What the--? I turned to look back. I thought I was going crazy when I saw a single heels on the floor. I looked at her from head to toe. She was missing a shoe. Did she just threw it on me? "Damn! Natsume!" She screamed as her tears rolled down her cheeks like without pause. "Could you stop for a minute and listen to me?! You know what your problem is? You're so busy thinking about your self that you failed to notice everything else!"

That was the first time I saw her going berserk. Why did she explode? I thought I was the one going to explode! What the hell was going on?!

I looked at her totally confused. "How long are you planning to keep me on the dark?!"

What?

"Yes, Natsume. I know. I knew it. I knew about Luna. I knew about your deal with my uncle. I knew about it all!" She wiped her tears with her hand.

What did she just say? She knew? How the hell –? How come she knew?!

"That day under the tree, when you made me leave, I left with my feelings so hurt. I was so damned hurt, Natsume. I was wondering what I did wrong. As I walked away, I was wondering why I made you angry. I wanted to know. I wanted to ask you why so I turned back and ran to you..." She answered my unspoken question. She felt her forehead with her palm with her tears still rolling down. Her cheeks was even turning red from crying. "I was so surprised to see you with Luna. But I was more than shocked to hear what you were talking about..."

She heard us. She heard us talking. She knew about her identity threatened to be exposed. What? She must have been worried! "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me, Natsume? I was so scared!"

"..." She must be. That was the reason why I didn't tell her. I knew she would be concerned about it.

"I was scared Natsume … I was scared not with Luna's threat, but with you throwing me away." What?

I watched her as her eyes became puffy. I watched her speechlessly. "I was so scared that you might have became fed up with me. I wanted to change. I wanted to change myself! I even started to ask all the people I knew what to do, what to change. I thought that if you didn't like me being noisy, I would start to seal my mouth. I thought that if you didn't want me bugging you so much, I would start to lessen it! But, damn! You never looked at me. Not even once..."

I never looked at her...? What is she talking about? Me?

"I have hated myself before for being stupid. But this was the first time that I hated to be Mikan Sakura. I asked myself so many times why did I have to be the girl who annoys you so much... I asked myself why did I have to be the one whom you hated..." She wiped her tears again.

With a little calmness now, she told me, "Kaname-senpai whose feelings I never noticed, confessed to me last week. He was such a gentle guy. He never mistreated me. He never ignored me. But damn. I couldn't say 'yes'..."

Kaname...confessed to her...? What?!

"Even Ruka confessed to me for so many times..."

My world stopped.

Nogi. Again.

She continued talking while I started to feel my air pipes tightened. "I was in love with him for the past ten years. I was waiting for our feelings to meet." Damn... I knew it already... Why did I have to be reminded of it every single damned day...? I closed my eyes. Shit. Must I be reminded always about my standings?

Her voice became a little more quiet. "But, why...? I asked myself 'why'... the very first time he confessed to me, I couldn't answer...?"

I opened my eyes and looked at her with shock. She...she couldn't answer? Why? What was wrong? She was waiting for him her whole life! Aren't they a couple now? Didn't Nogi left that Koizumi to be with her?

I was stunned when she laughed, then murmured under her breath, "Shit... why did I fall for some bastard...?"

…

…

Huh?

…

"I'm such a fool to fall for some insensitive guy. A bastard who made me clean his house in the middle of the night! Could yo believe that? I fell for that bastard who made me work as his slave! Damn! He would even tell me to shut up. The bastard who would sometimes wouldn't let me sleep at night. That bastard who was always inside my tiny brain. He would even often make me feel overly conscious. He always mistreated me and then started to avoid me. What a bastard!"

"Wha...?" She talked while she was crying. She was damned crying.

With her high pitched voice, she screamed. "I love you! I fuckin' love you! I fell for you, you bastard..."

…

Her voice died down. She clutched her hair again with one hand, the other was on her hips.

"Damn, Natsume… I love you..."

…

I looked at her.

I just looked at her.

What should I say?

What should I do?

I was swelling up inside. I literally forgot how to breathe. Something inside me was slowly overflowing like a calm river. I was being drowned. I felt so... unbelievably free. I wanted to scream. But I couldn't find my voice. I wanted to run to her. To hug her. But I was frozen. I was doubting. Was I asleep? Was I dreaming? This couldn't be happening, could it? I mean, I'm just Natsume Hyuuga. I was even being mean to her. I made her clean my house in the middle of the night... I made her work as my slave...

What...?

We just looked at each other for a long time. Then, she looked down and cried harder. This time, she was breathing hard. She shut her eyes tight and turned her back to me. With her feet missing a shoe, she slowly started to walk away. She walked like a penguin, but damn, she was walking away from me.

No... don't go... don't leave me... Not again. Please, not again... I saw her back again. Her back facing me. She was walking away again... What was I doing...? I was just letting her go away. No. I had to stop her. I had to...

I took a deep breath. My sight was starting to blur because of the tears. "Mikan..."

I was glad. I was glad she heard me. I was so glad she stopped. With her eyes wide, she turned to look at me.

I didn't know what happened next. My brain was blank. All I know was something inside me finally snapped. Something inside me finally exploded. In an instant, I just found myself trapping her under my arms. "Mikan... Mikan...!"

I called her so many times. I hugged her so tight I thought she was going to break. But I was afraid to let go. I was afraid she would run away and hide once I let go of her. I was afraid. So damned afraid to let her go.

"Mikan..." I felt her hugged me back and it felt so calming, so comfortable. She leaned her head against my chest and quietly cried there. I felt her tears made my suit wet. I could even hear her hiccups.

Damn... If this was a dream, I would gladly sleep forever. "Mikan … I'm Natsume … I'm not Nogi nor Kaname …" I wanted to make sure. Make sure that she really did choose me. I wanted to make sure that it was me she loved. I was afraid that she must be having delusions, that she was talking to either one of those guys and not me.

As quiet as she could, she slowly nodded her head.

I took a deep breath. She knew that I was Natsume. One more... "Mikan. I'm a bastard..." I whispered to her ears.

She laughed a little. "I knew that from the very first day I met you. And you kept on reminding me ever since."

I closed my eyes. I was afraid on what she might answer once I told her what I was about to tell her. I was afraid that she might change her mind and walk away from me, this time never to return again. I was afraid to tell her, but I had to. "I might hurt you..."

She laughed again. "You already did..."

With all the bravery I had left, I told her the scariest thing I thought. "I might not let you go..."

She was silent for a while. I thought that was it. I thought she would break free from my arms. I was about to let go, but then she scoffed. "Then, don't... don't ever leave me... Not now, not ever. No matter what happens..."

I hugged her tight again. Damn. Damn...

I couldn't explain what I was feeling that moment. I had goose bumps all over my body. A static electricity was running up and down. My head was spinning wildly. I didn't know when I started to breathe again.

I looked at her eyes with all sincerity and cupped her face. "You're mine... Mikan."

She smiled at me. And I knew what her answer was.

Slowly, I leaned closer on her. I was watching her reaction. Waiting if ever she might push me away. But my lips touched hers without a single struggle. I kissed her gently, again and again. When our lips parted, I was shocked to hear myself telling the words I never thought I would ever say. "I love you..."

She smiled again. "Yeah... I love you too..." And I sealed her lips again.

Inside my head, her words kept on echoing. It was so good to hear. So good to know. After all those misunderstandings, after all those sufferings, we were now connected. That moment, I forgot that it was supposed to be Aoi's birthday. I forgot about the documents I had to sign.

That very moment, I forgot about Koizumi's threat. I even forgot about the thrown shoe and my bleeding hand.

All I knew of was...

She's mine.

Finally.

She was mine...

-

-

-

**next chap would be Mikan's point of view again.**

**i would end it with her thoughts since i started with her. n_n**

**yes, guys. the next chap would be the ending (probably). hahaha.**


	16. Chapter 16

**yay! the final chapter is up the same time as the epilogue. haha.**

**so guys, this is it...!**

**well, it's kind of sad to end the story. T^T**

**but anyhoo, another idea have come to me again. actually, there are so many ideas. hahaha.**

**i just couldn't write them all at once.**

**thanks for the reviews by the way!**

**it was so good to know that you liked my story.**

**so please be kind again and look out for the other upcoming!**

**thanks! i luv you all!!**

* * *

**---Mikan's Point of View---**

I looked at my reflection. So far, I looked presentable with the formal dress that I was wearing. Mom and Aunt Kaoru told me to wear this for today's event. I could feel my heart beating wild against my chest, I was so nervous. But I decided to do this. I have to, if I don't want to burden anyone else anymore.

Three days ago, I have come to the decision to have my debut as Mikan Sakura Yukihara. I laughed remembering how much Natsume disagreed strongly. He threw his tantrums there inside uncle's office at school, in front of the headmaster himself and my mom. I laughed again. Mom and uncle, instead of worrying about me, they were so amused to Natsume's reactions that they forgot that we were talking abot serious matters. Gosh, who would have thought that Natsume had that side in him? I mean, wow. He was so protective.

Maybe, the others see him as overly protective. But to me, it was somewhat funny. It felt so good to have someone be so caring as him by me. If in time, we would have some problems about that, I think we would manage. Well, I wasn't so sure of what would happen in the future. One thing though, I knew that I would never get tired of him.

A knock from the door made me turn. It was Natsume's mom. Yes, I was at their main house. Aunt Kaoru and my mom were so close. They were in the kind of friendship that they would hang out to shop if they weren't busy. I didn't even know! I mean. Oh my gosh. Our whole family had this kind of relationship, and I didn't even know Natsume two months ago. She smiled at the sight of me. "Hey, sweetie."

I smiled back. I just couldn't get enough of her sweetness. Now I know where Aoi got her way of speaking. "Hi. Um, does it look okay? I mean, I am presentable enough, right?" I asked her opinion so flusterdly. This would be my first time to go out and show my face willingly to the media. Who would want to look bad? My face almost fell when she laughed at me. Did it really look weird? "Ugh..." I looked at my reflection again.

"Honey, it's good. It looks good on you." She said as she walked to me and grabbed my shoulders with a little squeeze. "Go on. He's outside waiting for you."

I looked at her, relaying a message through my eyes. I was scared, truthfully speaking. When we finished this mess, everyone would know who I was. Just like Natsume, my face would be, probably, put on posters and billboards and magazines. But of course, I knew that he and uncle won't allow it unless I say it's fine.

I sighed. "Wish me luck."

She answered me with a smile and a kiss on my cheek. "Good luck. Your mom would be waiting for you here when you come back. She just had some things to finalize fast." I nodded and smiled. Well, I knew that mom was trying hard to be with me. So, it's fine.

The door swung open and my heart almost fell. It was a sight I never would be tired of. He was there, standing by the door wearing a very fitting suit. He looked, from heaven to earth, gorgeous. My stomach felt funny, like I just fell from a hundreth floor. Was he really there? It was as if my eyes were decieving me, specially when he walked to meet me.

The memories from the confessions we had on Aoi's birthday seemed somewhat a dream to me. It still wasn't sinking in my tiny head, and I still couldn't believe it. "Oi, Polka." He greeted. Nothing about us changed so much. Nothing much. He was still the same perverted guy I met, still the same person teasing me endlessly. The only thing that was changed was...

He gently grabbed my hands and pulled it up close to his lips. There, he planted a small kiss. I just watched him speechlessly, my face getting hot.

Those were what changed. A little kisses, okay --- a lot. Hugs. And the 'I love you's. I think I would never get used to that. But somehow, it helped me realize that I, Mikan Sakura Yukihara, was definitely and unbelievably, Natsume Hyuuga's girlfriend.

::::::::::

I took a deep breath. I just couldn't get the hang of how Natsume could be so scary. We were sitting by the head of a long, rectangular table, in front of few people, who were business oriented I believed, in somewhat looked like a meeting room. At the sidelines were a few invited reporters. It was scary with all that in itself, but what made me nervous all the more was the fact that at the other end of the very table we were sitting by was Luna and her dad.

I took a glance at her. She appeared proud, her head held up high. But I knew that she was the proudest when she was nervous. Just like back then at school when everyone found out about the truth regarding me and her. In my eyes back then, of course she looked cool. Even now. She was a girl with so much pride. She could held her head up high even though she was in a very tight end.

The man sitting beside her was sweating bullets and laughing nervously. I never thought that Natsume had this kind of power. I always thought he was just another teenager like me. He was just another kid, another classmate. But what I didn't know was, that very same classmate I thought was just a snobbish spoiled brat, grew up much faster than the rest of us. He was here, sitting beside me, already a man even though young in years. He was facing all of them at once, fighting for what he believes in. Despite of his childlike demeanor when with me, he was a whole different person in face of another world.

Luna's dad cleared his throat. "So, what is this all of a sudden?" He asked nervously. I kind of admired him seeing how he managed to break the defeaning silence. He even managed to speak in front of Natsume, despite how his presence was so intimidating. I always knew that Natsume was intimidating, but not this much. At school, he would just make people make a pass for him in a crowd. That was what I know of him. But I forgot, we weren't in school. He wasn't the perverted guy mode this time. He was, as of now, the heir of the Hyuuga corp.

Natsume smirked, and it made them all freeze. "I see you haven't heard anything from your daughter."

I saw Luna flinched by Natsume's words, and it didn't pass the eye of the man beside her. Mr. Koizumi looked at his daughter for a moment, and then back at Natsume. "What do you mean?"

With Natsume's signal, his secretary, Mr. Mitsuzaki handed over a folder to Mr. Koizumi. "Your daughter, has just stupidly, risked the life of the heir of the Yukihara corp." I noticed everyone looked down at their pens or at the papers, pretending to read something, anything, just to avoid anyone's gaze. My heart was beating wildly as I looked at the whole new different world laid upon me.

"What?" Koizumi-san whispered in disbelief.

"As you can see, that's the copy of the documents I have here. Documents stating that if I signed, your company will close down immediately." Natsume continued without fear, as if he was standing on the same stage as them. No. In an even higher stage than the rest of them. I wondered how long had he been doing this. Those times that he said he was busy, those times when he was still avoiding me, I wondered if he was working on this. How come a seventeen year old guy was ever able to do this much? Even able to close down one of the major companies in Japan. Was he ever that powerful?

I laughed mentally. I forgot. He was Natsume Hyuuga. He was a Hyuuga. Actually, the only heir of the Hyuuga corporations. The family standing on top of Japan. But please, I thought that these things were just so over reacting. Closing down a whole company just because of me?

"Wait. Please, Mr. Hyuuga. I … I don't even know what … what is going on … I don't have any idea! None at all...!" Koizumi-san stuttered as he nervously scanned the documents in front of him.

Natsume smirked. Again. God, how long would he keep on doing that? It was scary as it is, he didn't have to put on another bottle of oil in the midst of the fire!

"As you very well know, we always had protected the heir of the Yukihara corporations. Some of the ordinary people out there thought that it was just a rumour, a legend of some sort. But what we really did was to just hid the heir into the shadows as to not risk the future of the two partner companies." He leaned over the table. "Ms. Luna Koizumi, the one who attends the same school as I am, had just discovered the fact about the heir."

Whisperings started among the others who were also sitting by the table, but louder whisperings were building up by the sidelines. I sighed. Gosh, this would be headline tomorrow. I thought, maybe this was the first time that they would hear about the story behind the closing down of one of the major companies in Japan, and the reason why the Yukihara heir suddenly shows up.

"Dad... I …" Luna started to speak, but she was cut off again by Natsume.

"Bearing that information at hand, she came directly to me, Natsume Hyuuga. She started threatening me about exposing the heir to the media. She even dared to call one reporter to school just to show me how serious she was." He paused a while and waited for someone to react. But it seemed like everyone was also waiting for him to continue. He sighed quietly. "After a while, I found out that she was threatening the heir's safety because of a personal and very childish reason."

"But … but … it was just as you said! It was just a … an immature, personal, and kids quarrel! Surely … surely we could talk about this." He laughed nervously as he presented a suggestion to him. To the guy beside me, much younger than him in decades.

"I thought the same way, Koizumi-san. I did. I thought it was so childish and just plain stupid. But she threatened a different kind of 'kid' you were mentioning. If you recall, Koizumi-san, we are talking about the heir. We are talking about the present and the future of Japan."

Ah … I almost forgot. Of course they would be rattled. I was, after all, the heir, or the heiress for the matter. Me and Natsume, in our shoulders were a responsibility greater than any others. Of course, they would go to such measures when it comes to my safety.

I was shocked to see Natsume grabbed the pen in front of him. He was getting ready, he was getting ready to sign those papers. My eyes wandered back to Luna and her dad. "Dad …" She whimpered, but what I saw made me shocked. Koizumi-san stood up and raised his hand high and slapped his daughter straight and hard on her face. Everyone fell silent and still. Even Natsume's attention was caught by the sound of Koizumi-san's palm landing on Luna's now reddish cheeks.

"This is your fault. With your spoiled attitude, you went your own way. I was letting you have it all, but you went and created trouble. Of all people, of all people, Luna, you threatened a Hyuuga and a Yukihara." Koizumi-san hissed. "You threatened both family. How stupid can you get?"

He was about to hit her again while everyone was just utterly speechless in watching. Flashes of different cameras woke me up, and before I knew it, emotions took over me and my mouth opened. "Stop." My voice was firm and loud. I didn't even know I could do it. Not in front of the elders. My hands were trembling and my heart beat rapidly when all heads turned to me. My hand automatically grabbed Natsume's shirt, as if it could give me strength. With unfocused and obviously scared eyes, I looked at Koizumi-san's eyes.

He was looking back at me, confused.

Even I don't know why I told him to stop. I just couldn't get the idea of everyone watching and not doing anything. I should hate her, I had the right to be mad. But seeing her utterly crushed without even having the opportunity to strike back, it was heart breaking. In an instant, I knew how much power I had in my hands. I knew how people would bow before me. But it wasn't a very pleasant idea. In front of me, right at this very moment, she looked so fragile. As if in one flick of my fingers, she would snap, permanently disabled.

As I looked at her, I remembered how Ruka once got so mad and insane when he thought I had hurt her. I thought how much Ruka once loved her. For all I know, I saw her not as an enemy, but as Ruka's ex-girlfriend. I saw her as the girl that my best friend once loved. "Please. Please stop hitting her."

I looked at Natsume with pleading eyes. I knew that he knows what I wanted. He could see right through me. Without words, he sighed and slouched back. Everyone was astonished when he put the pen down on the table, even I. "Fine. This would serve as a warning. I will let you go for now, but I will sign this without a second thought if this happens again."

The meeting ended with no casualties. The company that was about to be closed by their 'stupid' mistake was saved. I watched as Luna stood up and walked towards me and stopped a few feet in front of me. "I'm not in your debt." She said coolly.

I smiled. Typical Luna, I guess. "Sure."

When she walked away, the reporters crowded over us in the blink of an eye. I felt Natsume pulled me back as the body guards made the reporters back to their places. Questions were flying here and there across the room, without even answering the first question, another one was thrown.

"Is she the heir?"

"Why is she with you?"

"What's your relationship with her?"

"How did you meet?"

"Why did Luna Koizumi appear?"

And so on. Everyone fell silent when I looked at Natsume and sighed. This was one of the serious things I had to decide myself for. I could still back out and tell them that I was just Natsume's girlfriend. I could still walk away from all of these. But then I remembered, what if my loved ones would be troubled again because of the fear of my identity being exposed? I couldn't take that. Just not that. I could live my whole life with reporters following me here and there, but I just couldn't let others worry because of me the whole time.

I knew the fact that if I revealed myself now, the whole msytery thing would end and the constant threats would dissolve. But I also knew that once I answered the question of who I was, my life would be in constant target. Think Mikan, I told myself. If Natsume was able to live his life with all of these, how come I would be different? That was it, I thought. I would stop these nonsense and I have to start playing my own role.

I took a deep breath as I gathered all of the courage I have in my body. Never, and I meant never have I made such decision as this one. I looked at the reporters as firm as I could and with a loud voice, I announced, "I am, as of now, appearing to the world for the first time, not as Mikan Sakura, but Mikan Sakura Yukihara."

Flashes again, questions again.

"What is your relationship with Natsume Hyuuga?" One reporter asked.

Honestly, I didn't know how to answer that one. Should I tell her the truth? Or would the truth bother Natsume? I was more than surprised when I felt Natsume's hand caught mine. That gesture instantly made the reporters fell eerie quiet. Not once, not ever, have they heard of Natsume Hyuuga having a girl. Except now.

Natsume looked at me, and was dumbfounded to see him looking at me with all serenity. "She's my fiancee. Right?" The last word, it was a question.

I watched as my world around me literally stopped. I even forgot how to breathe. I didn't know how long I held my breath back, or how long I stared at him. I thought I heard him wrong. I thought he told them I was his fiancee.

…

Oh God! He did tell them I was his fiancee! And by God, he just asked me to marry him.

My head spun all of a sudden, and my whole life flashed in front of my eyes. He was asking me a lifetime commitment. He just proposed, not a business proposal. Goodness, it was a marriage proposal! He proposed to me, in a very unexpected way, in front of millions of people.

My eyes saw him again. He was looking at me with hopeful eyes and a gentle smile. It was a smile that told me 'it's fine even not to answer right away'. That was another part of him that I liked. He wasn't pressuring me. I could embarrass him in front of millions of people but he would still wait for me. God. Who would do that except perhaps him?

I asked msyelf again. Who would ever close down a whole company, one of the major ones, just because of me? Of course him. Who would ever dare to avoid me just so I could be safe? It was him again. Who was the one behind me all these times? Of course it was him. It was all him. He loved me, and he loved me in a way he knew how. He protected me by all means from all harms. Yes, I was convinced. He loved me. He loves me.

I smiled at him, my heart full of funny emotions. I squeezed his hand lightly and looked at him straight in the eye, hoping that by doing that, he would know all of the emotions I was feeling. "Of course I am." I answered, fighting my tears back.

::::::::::

We walked outside that room, leaving all of the reporters behind. We walked out hand in hand. When we were alone at the middle of the private and empty hallways, I was shocked when Natsume collapsed. It was like, he suddenly gave in. He fell on his knees and sat down at the floor leaning on the wall without ever letting go of my hand. "Natsume!" Naturally, I panicked.

I knelt down to see what was wrong. I was getting ready to call the bodyguards, to call the ambulance. But what I saw made my heart almost stop.

His other hand was covering almost half of his face, covering his almost red face. He was … for the first time I knew of, blushing madly. I was stunned. I was petrified. His face was blazing pink, even his ears were pinkish like that of a newborn child. For the very first time in my life, I saw Natsume Hyuuga shaken so bad that he fell on the floor.

His crimson eyes met mine, but I was still too absorbed watching as he tried to hide his face away. "What..." He murmured ever so bashfully and quietly.

He was embarrassed.

Of course he was, after the stunt that he pulled back there.

I felt my cheeks hot, and my ears prickly. It felt like I was burning with fever. I didn't know what happened to me. He just looked so unbelievably manly in front of my eyes for a moment, and I found myself kissing him. I pecked him by the edge of his lips. It was more of an impulse, I didn't even think of it. But I didn't regret it.

With his face still madly blushing, he cupped my face and leaned over to kiss me full on the lips.

That day, I made two big decisions at once. Both affecting my whole life ahead of me.

That day, I was not just introduced as Mikan Sakura Yukihara, The Heir.

I was also introduced as Mikan Sakura Yukihara, The Heir, and Natsume Hyuuga's Future Partner in Life.


	17. Chapter 17

**---EPILOGUE---**

I looked at Hotaru blankly. She was, for a hundreth of times now, in just this day, smacked Ruka on his head … hard. It wasn't Ruka's fault actually. He just commented on how she would look nice wearing one of what I was wearing --- a wedding gown. Yes, me and Natsume. Getting married. Right after we graduated high school. It wasn't opposed though. In fact, our parents were exhilirated. Like it was their plan all along. Actually, it was. We didn't know that we were each other's fiancee since birth. And it was funny how we just made things a whole lot easier for them.

We were at my room here at the pavillion, and Hotaru was helping me along with the other girls with the pin on my hair and anything else. Ruka, of course he couldn't help me. Natsume might smother him if he finds out. But he couldn't go to Natsume's room, the room just across mine. For the past year, the two have, believe it or not, actually became best of friends. I didn't know how. One day, they just talked and had a couple of beers and then, poof! Magic. They were best friends. But as I was saying, the best man couldn't go and greet his best friend, the groom, simply because Hotaru said so.

These last few days, I noticed how Hotaru became so moody. She became like a spoiled brat, and whatever she wanted, she had to have it right away. And she was being especially mean to Ruka.

Sumire laughed at the sight of the two. "Imai," she called. "You might want to be a little less violent towards your boyfriend."

Hotaru just wrinkled her face but didn't say anything else. And it was followed by the giggles of Anna and Nonoko, and even our youngest, Aoi.

I laughed remembering how these two turned out to be together. It wasn't special really. There was no boquet of flowers, no kneeling down the floor. It was actually funny, but somehow ended romantic. It happened a year ago, at Tsubasa-senpai and the other's graduating celebration. We were all having a party at Tsubasa-senpai's house, and as usual, the two were arguing non-stop. Hotaru just got a hold of another of Ruka's embarrassing photos. And Ruka, as usual, was raging mad … or so I thought.

"Imai! Give it here!" He yelled at Hotaru despite the eyes that were locked on them.

"Tough luck, Nogi." The girl smirked as she poured another cup of apple juice.

"Stop giving me headaches, Imai! And look at me while I'm talking!" He demanded like a child. Honestly, who could take him seriously if his face was blazing red like a child throwing a tantrums? We were even laughing at them. Back then, I thought how Ruka might have looked a bit like me when Natsume would tease me. That very moment, I knew what feelings they held for one another. Actually, they were practically screaming it to the whole world through their non-stop arguings.

Hotaru still didn't look at him. "If you want me to look at you, tell me something serious. Something more serious than me getting a whole lot of money through this. I might listen then." She told him, and then continued murmuring to herself. "I wonder how much I would earn. Hmm... Maybe a cosplaying Ruka would satisfy the fan girls more."

I was shocked as Ruka exploded. Without second thoughts, he grabbed Hotaru by her shoulders to make her turn his way and kissed her full on her lips. We all gasped in shock, but Tono-senpai was fast enough to have grabbed a camera and recorded it. Even Tsubasa-senpai got a hold of his cellphone and shot a picture or two. "How the hell could I say something serious as this when you can't even hear the little things I was telling you?" He whined like a child as he flushed red even more.

Hotaru blinked, totally caught off-guard. She looked at Ruka with her usual stoic face and asked, "You do know that you'd have to take responsibility for that, right?"

Ruka was stunned, at least he looked so stunned to me. Then, he smiled and kissed her again.

"And also for that." Hotaru added once they broke the kiss.

The guy smiled and answered the girl, "Sure."

I felt a hard press on my hair and it made me come back to the present, here at the day of my wedding. Hotaru was still trying to fix the pin on my hair and Ruka was still whining. I smiled again. "Hotaru, why are you so moody these past few days?" I asked her so curiously.

My question made all of the people with me stop to listen well. My best friend looked sharply at Ruka. "Ask him."

"Well?" Sumire crossed her arms on her chest, impatient.

"Why is she like that, Ruka?" Nonoko asked curiously.

"Uh... Well... How do I say it...?" Ruka was at loss of words. Well, that was unusual.

I heard the doors opened, and Youichi came in on his white tuxedo. I took a deep breath. Wow. Our ring bearer was just so handsome, I thought. He walked inside and with a plastered grin on his face, he answered the question that we were asking. "Hotaru-nee is preggy."

Silence.

Sumie choked on her own breath. "What the hell?!" She screamed so loud, it was almost deafening. But I could care less. What I was so focused on was on what Youichi just said.

I stood up in shock. "Hotaru!" I called her so desperately.

"Well, it happened." She answered calmly.

Aoi and Nonoko squeeled in excitement, Sumire was dumbstruck to even react more, and Aoi was giggling non-stop with Youichi.

I looked at Ruka who was blushing madly. I didn't know what I felt, I was just so shocked that I couldn't breathe properly. "Ruka..." I called him in almost a whisper. "You!" I pointed my finger at him. I wanted to say so many things, but heck, I didn't have the right. All I could do then was to just accept the fact and support the two. I cleared my chest with a deep breath and looked at him again. This time, I remembered what happened a few years back with him and Luna ---- there at the Lover's turf. I shook my head at the memory. "You." I called again. "I always knew you were a pervert."

Sumire looked at me and whispered. "And I thought Natsume was the perverted one."

Aoi and Nonoko laughed even harder with this, and me? Well... I was stunned at her that I wasn't able to make a comeback.

::::::::::

Mom held me tight. For the first time in my life, I felt the fear in her, fear of letting me go. But I also felt the proudness that she had for me. This was the moment that I really felt the presence of my 'mom'. She loosened her hug and looked at me. "I can't believe this." She almost whispered. Again, she was getting emotional. But I guess I could sort of understand. After all, she was permanently giving me away to be with Natsume.

I smiled at her. "Mom, you're doing it again."

She laughed hearily. "Well, I guess this really is it. Just remember, if ever you want to back down, you can still say 'no' at the altar."

My eyes widened. Was that supposed to be a joke? "Mom!"

She laughed again as she stood up. "Just kidding, honey. Well, I think I'll go out and check some things outside, okay? I have to make sure he won't ditch you."

I rolled my eyes. "Mom. You're making me even more nervous."

She bent down to me and kissed me on my forehead. "That was a joke." With that, she stepped out of the room.

Honestly, she could be a real pain sometimes. She even made me imagine some sort of things. I looked at my reflection. "He won't do that, right?" I asked as if my reflection would flick me in the forehead and reply back at me.

Ten minutes later, I was rattled when I thought I heard Natsume's voice just outside. I stood up and quietly walked towards the door, believing that he must have been calling me. My hand fell on the doorknob, and I already opened it a bit when I saw him with his dad.

"I never thought you would come." I heard Natsume said.

There was a short pause, and I heard his dad sighed like a tired old man. "Well," He answered. "I thought I should stop hanging out with the study room once in a while."

I almost forgot. They had a misunderstanding between them, a father and son's quarrel. Maybe, I thought, this would be the right time to start and patch things up in them. "Hn." Natsume quietly answered. "Well, that's a start."

I smiled to myself when he said that. Because that definitely meant 'Okay, let's try again.'

From now on, perhaps Natsume's life would turn for the better.

::::::::::

Back then when I was a kid, I wanted to have a magical wedding with all the fairies flying around me, dwarves and elves and all the magical creatures surrounding me as the witnesses, the magical king as the high priest, and a prince riding a white horse waiting for me. It was magical alright. Typical for a young girl.

Now that my wedding was really happening, I smiled. I had a simple garden wedding. And though I didn't have fairies flying around me, nor a single magical creature and a king as the witnesses, at best I had families and friends. And though I didn't have a white horse, the prince was still there waiting for me. The prince with a mesmerizing crimson eyes.

The first time I met him, I thought that he was a contradiction. His eyes was warm, but his gaze was cold. His gaze made me feel like I was drowning in a sea of cold fire. But now, he was looking at me with such warm passion in his already warm eyes as I walked down the aisle. There was no contradiction. He was looking at me just as he was. No pretention. No mask. There at the front was Natsume Hyuuga with all he ever was.

I laughed. I thought there was no magic, but I was wrong. Definitely, there was something magical. The fact that we met at the school, the fact that we became classmates, the fact that we became seatmates and friends slash enemies, and the fact that we fell for each other. It was all because there was a magic invisible strings. Strings that were attached long before we were even born. It was magic alright. How my parents knew his. How his parents knew mine. And how our fate was tied together. Yes. Magic ...

I smiled at him, waiting for the love song that I picked for my entrance to end.

He smiled at me, waiting for the time for the both of us to actually say...

"I do."

**-THE END-**

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**awww...**

**it ended. T^T don't you think this is a bit long for an epilogue? Haha!**

**Well, couldn't help it.**

**Thank you for you guys who stayed with me 'til the end.**

**You guys were really sweet. Thanks! Huhu..**

**anyway, please wait for the upcoming story that I would post soon!**

**And please continue to support me...!**

--- cristofori's dream (keith) ---


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